Dressing kids in style how important?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 2:48 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

My kids dont know brand names. What I do attempt is clean clothes that are in good condition so they won't get teased. People in my neighborhood often give away clothes their children grown out of if there are no siblings near the child's age because storing clothes for years doesn't work anymore. I think if you live in a neighborhood with such high standards that you can't meet you might need to move.

So we live out of town which is supposed to be much more laid back in this area, but sadly it's not. We moved here a few years ago. Not going anywhere.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 2:51 pm

amother Blushpink wrote:

I’m confounded that this is a shaila. But I also don’t understand what you mean by your trauma surrounding this.

I explained above why it's a shaila. And trauma meaning teased that I didn't have the same styles as the girls, that my stuff was hand me down (kids can tell this sadly). I don't mean too big or baggy or I'll fitting. But the other kids definitely noticed it and I vowed never to do that to my kids. I get lots of hand me downs but sort through them carefully for what's still stylish. So B"H it helps us somewhat but not everything

amother

Waterlily

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:17 pm

amother Papayawhip wrote:

Literally nothing. Old Navy is much better than anything from Ali Express, which is garbage made from slave labor. I am curious to see which coat you are all talking about though.

You think Old Navy isn't garbage made from slave labor?

amother

Peach ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

You can look stylish and put together without wearing certain brands, or fakes from AliExpress.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:52 pm

amother Peach wrote:

You can look stylish and put together without wearing certain brands, or fakes from AliExpress.

Right but they want the ones that everyone has. I am a great frugal shopper and lots of clothing I shop well and cheap. But they want this specific coat and boots

amother

Silver ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 3:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

This. I have one of the coats from Ali for my son. This will be second year B"H still Great condition

So if you're willing to buy your son a coat from Ali, why are you not willing to buy for your daughters?

amother

↑ Peach ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

Right but they want the ones that everyone has. I am a great frugal shopper and lots of clothing I shop well and cheap. But they want this specific coat and boots

I understand. I'm just putting it in context- no one has trauma from being dressed well and not having one specific coat and boots. It's ok for kids not to get everything they ask for, as long as their wants and needs are addressed in the big picture. This is not about dressing in style, this is about getting the exact item they want.

You can always offer to get it as a birthday present or a chanukah present. Or they can use their own money.

amother

Cantaloupe

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:04 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Please don’t get them old navy coats at this age. Let them feel a little good about their coat. Ali piks coats are not a bad price. An old navy oat isn’t even warm enough . Plus they will look worn out sooner.

An aliexpress coat is better quality than Old Navy?!

I agree it might be more stylish, but better quality certainly not.

amother

Junglegreen ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:05 pm

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

This.

If they really want it, that's fine. Tell them that right now, this is what you can afford. You'd be happy to pay that amount towards whichever coat they want. If they want to pitch in so that you can afford the pricier option, that's fine.

Of course, you need to allow them to make money if this is your stance. Lots of ways kids can do this...

I totally agree with kids making their own money and buying what they want. If they can do that - they should have the luxury to spend on what they like.
I grew up where everyone was wearing brands and I didn’t have. Nowadays I smirk and I am so so thankful I didn’t have. It made me into someone thoughtful with depth and integrity. Even though bh we earn extremely well and I could buy luxury items, when I heard about the lululemon trend I davka decided NOT to buy their fanny packs out of disgust LOL

I just associate that level of *needing* brand names with the limbic system’s urge to fit in.. survival instincts, fear of not being relevant etc. which are all false signals and not emes
Would rather get a not out there high quality material item sans logos.
Style is very personal… You/your child shouldn’t wear what they don’t like, but you can definitely shop cost effectively)
Dh is Hungarian and the main thing is just to have clean clothing that fits well. Brands and logos really don’t mean anything.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:06 pm

amother Peach wrote:

But if I get it as a bday present then I need to buy two coats because their bdays are close to the end of the winter.

amother

↑ Junglegreen ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:08 pm

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

An aliexpress coat is better quality than Old Navy?!

I agree it might be more stylish, but better quality certainly not.

I beg to differ. I got a wool coat for less than $100 and on several separate occasions women came to me during grocery shopping asking where I got my coat… I emailed them the AliExpress link

You need to do in depth search and speak to the seller, look for real reviews etc

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:08 pm

amother Junglegreen wrote:

So happens to be I didn't grow up with it and always hated when people talked about clothes. I am by general a very deep person. Lately though I have been into the trends. I would never buy the brand name though bshita. I feel like Ali is in between. Like it's a very nice coat, but not the most expensive

amother

↑ Silver ↓

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

But if I get it as a bday present then I need to buy two coats because their bdays are close to the end of the winter.

It can be an early birthday present. They'll get the coats they want, but they won't get a present later. My parents did that with me sometimes.

amother

↑ Junglegreen

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Exactly. Or get a bag from The Row on AliExpress instead of some big brand like Chanel etc
Be more refined. You can own the trends and not let them own you

amother

↑ Peach

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

But if I get it as a bday present then I need to buy two coats because their bdays are close to the end of the winter.

As someone else wrote, it's an early birthday present. They can decide how important it is to them.

amother

Geranium

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 4:56 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

So can someone please link this magical coat
(And I thought Alli was cheap knock offs)

And I am still waiting to hear what is wrong with old navy.

https://alispecials.com/produc.....-coat alispecials a Jewish company produces in China and sells on Aliexpress. It's down filled super warm good quality coats.

There's nothing wrong with the Old Navy coat, but it seems like her kids are bothered by it. Old Navy coats are also usually poly filled so they aren't as warm, the quality also isn't the greatest.