After Chupa- until couple comes in-- TOO LONG!

red sea

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:25 pm

One thing people do is take all but the chosson & kallah pics before the wedding & digitally impose them into the group photos. But I am not so fond of that myself, I like real pics better.

I would also think that if you were at the wedding and really truly wanted to be there you wouldnt care or notice the time.

And if you go cuz its a nice thing and/or you feel obligated I see no reason you cant leave at the preplanned time regardless.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:41 pm

Mitzvahmom wrote:

Maya wrote:

It takes a while until you get every sister, sister-in-law, brother, nieces, nephews, grandparents and whoever else to be in the same room at the same time. Very often, the couple does not even sit down to eat the meal together because they are so busy with the pictures. It often takes over 2 hours! And the crowd is waiting downstairs.

Also the couple has been fasting all day!!!

Not everyone, especially the girls

yo'ma

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:49 pm

What my family does, is take all family pictures before and they put the kallah or choson in afterwards, so we don't have to worry about getting the family together. Which is really hard, because k"h, it's a lot. The only pictures that are taken after, are the chosson and kallah together and with the parents. Personally, I didn't have this because I got married before digital. LOL

↑ Mitzvahmom

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:49 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

Maya wrote:

Also the couple has been fasting all day!!!

Not everyone, especially the girls

really?? I fasted at my first, and I will probably at my second also!

↑ Ruchel

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:51 pm

Most of the women/girls I know that are married didn't fast, or made a half fast. Much more men fasted, but not all either.

↑ miriamnechama

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 6:27 am

by my nireces weddings and my sister's teh fam pix were taken after teh reception whne most guest had gone hom,e, and chooson/kalla pix later in teh evening.

by my wedding, some fqam pix weretaken before teh chppua and most at the end of teh evening as is done in israel.

peach

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 6:45 pm

shalhevet wrote:

miriamnechama wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

At another chassuna the kalla's mother also disappeared for about an hour (photographs?). There are people who come to a chassuna just to wish mazel tov and go

I've heard of plenty cases taht eth mother had to go to mikva the night after the wedding and went straight after teh chuppa....

who knows??

And why would plenty of people be giving you such information??? shock

How have you heard of plenty of cases? I haven't heard of even one, and wouldn't expect to either.

I have heard of cases like that, as well. Not at the time, but at a later date. (Which is not ideal to announce, but definitely better saying it at a later point than saying it at the time).

Many people do go after the wedding, too. Most mikvahs will let you come late at night for an extra fee (for extenuating circumstances).

square_peg

Mon, Jun 16 2008, 7:33 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

in chaseeeedishe weddings, we eat the entire meal in the yichud room and when we come out we dance until bentching, so the meal takes about 1 1/2 hours. chaseeedishe chosson kallahs come in betgween 10 and 10:30, and that's when most people come to wish mazel tov. If I go to a wedding where I have to say mzt to a realtive of the kallah I go at 9 and wish them during the seudah.

boy am I tired, making so many typos.

Now with the 11:00 chumra, it doesnt take so long anymore.. (for those that keep it, of course)... I love that I go to a wedding, and I'm home by midnight, tops.

Motek

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 11:56 am

Friendly wrote:

In Australia, however, they cleverly set up the system where the chuppah takes place in early afternoon, (ppl come in their work clothes), then the guests GO HOME WHILE THE FAMILY TAKES PICTURES, and come bck later for reception/dinner/ dancing (usually at a hotel- different location than chuppah). This way NOBODY IS KEPT WAITING, and chosson kallah have plenty time to take photos.

Who wants to attend a wedding twice? Not me. I assume only the closest people bother doing that.

mimsy7420 wrote:

We took as many pics before the kabbolos panim. And we also started with the big family pictures (and I'm talking BIG - dh has 35 first cousin who each have 6 kids and so on...)

Since when are first cousins asked to join formal portraits? Confused

Clarissa

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 12:00 pm

Motek wrote:

Friendly wrote:

Who wants to attend a wedding twice? Not me. I assume only the closest people bother doing that.

I wouldn't be back for the party. Once I'm home and the uncomfortable shoes and bra are removed, I'm not going out again, even for cake.

flowerpower ↓

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 12:04 pm

The wait is because of the pictures. Sometimes both sides are so big that it can take forever. Now they try to speed things up a bit by taking most pictures before the wedding and with a computer put the chosson in all the family pics.

Ruchel, most fast a whole day until the kabalos panim.

Rivky

Tue, Jun 17 2008, 12:06 pm

I think guest just tend to leave as the clock ticks on. As much as it's the couples once in a lifetime night, pple get fed up and upset. But to change the system of makin it earlier?? Have yet to see that.

melalyse

Wed, Jun 18 2008, 9:22 pm

At my wedding we took all of the pictures before the chuppah and we were so happy - we were going to go straight from the yichud room into the hall to dance. But guess what - they wouldn't let us in yet because they needed to serve the soup. We stood outside talking to people outside for about a half hour until they let us in. I agree thay it is usaully way too long, but it isn't always the chassan and kallahs fault.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jun 18 2008, 11:24 pm

we took all family photos before the chuppa, couple pictures after. that way no one had to wait too long. our rav actually recommended we do this as a courtesy to our guests.

cubbie

Thu, Jun 19 2008, 2:52 am

I think the best system is the English one, where they first have the chupah then after that is the reception (Shmorgus board) and then the dinner. Also many have the chupah at the shul and then there is a break where the guests go home to change for the dinner which is in a hotel or hall, so the pictures are being taken during the break and the reception, where all the guests are anyway busy eating and shmoozing and by the time it's the dinner, the photos are done, and the guests never felt they were waiting around. I however got married here in israel, but my husband is sefardic, so there is no issue with not seeing each other before the chupah and we took all our photos before and went straight from the cheder yichud to the dinner.

Rutabaga

Thu, Jun 19 2008, 8:53 am

mummiedearest wrote:

we took all family photos before the chuppa, couple pictures after. that way no one had to wait too long. our rav actually recommended we do this as a courtesy to our guests.

That's exactly what we did, also upon advice from our rav. It worked well except for the family that couldn't be bothered to show up half an hour early for pictures.

My parents and in-laws also made sure that the wedding ran on schedule. We started at 4 (it was a summer Sunday), and the wedding was over by 9. That way people were more likely to stay for bentching and sheva brachos because they knew they wouldn't get home so late.