After Chupa- until couple comes in-- TOO LONG!

queen ↓

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 5:12 pm

I understand it is the young couple's special evening, however suggestions are needed on how to shorten that time, when all guests are held waiting. For a couple to come out at 10:00, only to begin the first dance THEN, is much too late.

I understand pictures take time, but what can we do to speed up the process? Suggestions, ideas?????

How long did it take for YOU to come out?

chocolate moose

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 5:19 pm

I know it's late. I went to a wedding last night, where there were sev. chuppahs, and ours was the latest.

It's very hard. During the busy season, when the days are long, there isn't much of a choice, though..

I got married in the daytime, in the winter, so the day was pretty short..anyway we didn't have hardly any family so we didn't have many pictures.....

shira

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 5:20 pm

Both of our parents INSISTED that we take pictures before the kabalas panim/chosson's tish b/c of tircha d'tzibura. It was a little anticlimactic for us but we appreciated their concern. We, of course, had to ask shailos from our Rebeim and were told that it was OK, especially b/c our parents were so makpid. We had no intentions of taking touching pictures anyway so that wasn't an issue (even though technically we could have taken touching pics even before the chuppa/yichud).

shayna82

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 5:21 pm

I think people should be more considerate of the couple. yes, there are guests waiting, and yes people have to travel back to their home towns, and yes, the pictures, but what about the couple who want to spend this special time that they will never have again, this moment only happens once!!!!

Buddy

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 5:22 pm

I don't think there's any way to "speed up the process", I personally came in at 10:15 - and it was quite tight (I pushed the photographer out the door)
The only solution I can think of is if everything starts earlier which depends on the guests. But y'know how it is - until you come home from work, and then until you finally leave the house...

realeez

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 6:52 pm

We had a 7:30ish chuppah and we came in at 9 pm for the first dance. I told the photographer that I will leave at 9 pm to go dance whether he has enough pictures or not!

we couldn't have an earlier chuppah b/c it would have been bain hashmashos (we got married in march)

One tip is if you plan on having a large group family picture after the chuppah, then set it up right after the chuppah so that when the chosson and kallah leave the yichud room, they step right into their spots, snap snap snap and done! that saves a ton of time!

mom3boys

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 7:07 pm

what about making better use of modern digital photography/editing?
Have all the family pictures taken with the space for the couple. And airbrushing them in later?

Very Happy

micki

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 7:10 pm

I was also at a wedding last night and the couple did not come oin until 10:00 were we at the same wedding?
I had enough shmoozing o do that I did not mind.
but we did leave at 11 so - I really came for the family if it was the kalla then I would have felt let down.

DefyGravity

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 7:53 pm

I've gone to weddings where I didn't even get to stay for the first dance b/c they came out so late.

My photographer took as many pics as he could beforehand of each of us w/ our families, and then after the chuppah, the pics together didn't take so long.

mimsy7420 ↓

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 7:59 pm

The couple needs that alone time together thats very true. But they will have plenty of alone time in their life. Meanwhile they are missing their wedding! All that money and time and effort for the chosson and Kallah to be in the hall for an hour or so. It's crazy!

↑ queen

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 8:49 pm

Quote:

shira: technically we could have taken touching pics even before the chuppa/yichud).

how so?

yoyosma

Wed, Jun 21 2006, 9:00 pm

I dont remember the exact timing, but we took all family pictures and individual pictures possible before the Kabolas Panim. We started pretty early.
After the Yichud room, (which did NOT last long, the wedding coordinator was banging on the door), the families had stayed in one room. Pictures were taken with all cousins, who then stepped out for only immediate family, who then stepped out for parents, who then stepped out for Chosson Kallah pictures, which were done ALONE, because no one was needed for pictures anymore. It went really fast, and we were out pretty quickly.

shalhevet ↓

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 3:50 am

queen wrote:

Quote:

shira: technically we could have taken touching pics even before the chuppa/yichud).

how so?

Because once a kalla has gone to the mikva she is tehora (not nidda) and meanwhile not an eishes ish (married). A man is forbidden to touch a nidda and/or someone else's wife.

It is because of this that Chazal don't allow single women to go to the mikva (while we don't have a Beis Hamikdash) and also why the kalla should go to the mikva as close as possible to the wedding. So that she shouldn't be in this situation which might give someone the wrong idea.

↑ shalhevet ↓

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 3:57 am

I think it's really rude when couples don't come out for so long. The people at your chassana are your guests and you should be paying them attention.
We were at a chassana when we planned on staying about an hour. I think we got there just after the chuppa. We waited and waited but the chasson and kalla were still in the cheder yichud. Finally we left because we gave up waiting, without wishing them mazel tov. We had spent time and money to travel out of town.
At another chassuna the kalla's mother also disappeared for about an hour (photographs?). There are people who come to a chassuna just to wish mazel tov and go.
I know we were careful to spend a minimal amount of time in the cheder yichud and then just about 5-6 photographs. You can take more photographs when everyone has gone home.

supermom

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 4:15 am

We didn't come in for dancing it was about ten I thought it was crazy but with a big family that we had the pictures felt like ages I was dying to get it over with.

happy2beme

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 8:29 am

Quote:

what about making better use of modern digital photography/editing?
Have all the family pictures taken with the space for the couple. And airbrushing them in later?

they actually do this!!!! my cousins did this. they took pictures of the chosson & his family & left a space for the kallah & the photographer just put her in later Smile

it really saved time. This way, take all family pics b4 kabolas panim & just photoshop choson & kallah into each other's family.

Ruchel ↓

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 10:06 am

yoyosma wrote:

I dont remember the exact timing, but we took all family pictures and individual pictures possible before the Kabolas Panim. We started pretty early.

Same here, we took all the pictures possible before, and after we only took the non posing / natural ones during the dinner, dances... The chuppa was at 7 pm, abt half an hour of cheder yichud, and we were back!

↑ mimsy7420

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 10:39 am

yoyosma wrote:

yea thats how we did it...
Wedding co-ordinator banging on the door of the yichud room helped things move quickly. Very Happy

But I'm happy she did that because I wanted to enjoy my wedding! We took as many pics before the kabbolos panim. And we also started with the big family pictures (and I'm talking BIG - dh has 35 first cousin who each have 6 kids and so on...) and got less and less until it was just me and my Chosson. Those pics were done alone with just the photographer and us. It went pretty quickly and it was a lot of fun, cuz it was done chop chop and wasn't dragged out.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 12:49 pm

Quote:

thats very true that the cocuple WILL have plenty of time together alone during their life together, but this, the yichud room, is the first time that they are alone and it is a very special time and I dont think that the couple is thinking about the money that was spent.
I also know at MANY weddings, that all of the guests start eating while the couple is in the yichud room and then when the couple finally comes in, there is dancing and its all good!

mummyof6 wrote:

as for it being rude for a couple to stay in he yichud room for a while, I have two things about that. I have some cousins were it is their minhag to have the meal in the yichud room and then when they FINALLY come out there is maybe a round of dancing and thats it, so the ppl who know this, come only for the dancing to be misameach the chatan and kallah.

also, you mentioned that someone wanted to wish the mother of the kallah a mazal tov but she disappeared for a bit, well, I dont know, but my opinion would be that, I really do not think that he mother of the bride is thinking about that person who wants to say mazal tov. she is just rejoicing in her simcha and does not have to think about the ppl and why exactly they all came and for how long.

by my chatuna, we were supposedly in there for 27 minutes and then the photographer banged on the door. we thought that it was WAAAY too little time, but what can you do?

Quote:

I know we were careful to spend a minimal amount of time in the cheder yichud and then just about 5-6 photographs. You can take more photographs when everyone has gone home.

this is not such agreat idea b/c b/4 the dancing, everyone is still polished looking. once the dancing has occured, everyone is all sweaty and not looking so polished any more. I know that I felt so sweaty and gross when all of the guests finally left, I would never had gone for pictures. I wanted to get the silly wedding dress off of me.

Mama Bear ↓

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 10:49 pm

in chaseeeedishe weddings, we eat the entire meal in the yichud room and when we come out we dance until bentching, so the meal takes about 1 1/2 hours. chaseeedishe chosson kallahs come in betgween 10 and 10:30, and that's when most people come to wish mazel tov. If I go to a wedding where I have to say mzt to a realtive of the kallah I go at 9 and wish them during the seudah.

boy am I tired, making so many typos.