My Tefila Was Answered

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 4:05 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

so on chanukah I can ask for gender to be changed.?

I can ask for stone to turn to water? obviously I wont ask but can I? and hashem will make it happen?

No. It's not a matter of changing true teva. It's about changing what we THINK is teva, that one will never find a shidduch because nothing's worked so far, that a refuah will come...something that COULD happen but we can't imagine how.

(How would the stone turning to water help you serve Hashem better? That's essential too.)

amother

↑ DarkGreen ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 4:08 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

so on chanukah I can ask for gender to be changed.?

I can ask for stone to turn to water? obviously I wont ask but can I? and hashem will make it happen?

No and no.
I started way back by saying this isn't magic or fairy tales.
Davening is a mitzva we all have at all times, men and women too ("uleavdo bechol levavchem"). We can connect to Hashem and ask for whatever we need in our own words at any time but the mitzva of tefilla has rules like all other mitzvos, what you say, when you daven, how you're dressed when you daven, where you daven etc.
As a general rule you're not supposed to ask for a neiss (though as someone else already pointed out you can ask for anything and Hashem can do anything). An exception to this rule might be the eight days of Chanuka. That doesn't guarantee that if you daven for a neiss on Chanuka it will happen, any more than you have a guarantee that if you ask Hashem to do any other thing it'll happen immediately just because you davened.
I think the best suggestion I made in my too many posts above was discussing this with your lor.
What got me started was an ima crying because she suffered a painful loss and she's blaming herself for not carrying out the instructions in the latest segulah that appeared here. That made me feel terrible. These segulah threads are full of misconceptions and while it's nice to read the happy endings they can leave some people crushed and hurting. That was how I ended up here, but it's way beyond me to explain the entire subject of tefilla. Your local rabbi or local sefarim store should be able to help.

amother

↑ Impatiens ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 4:09 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

you are allowed to ask for a open miracle all year round regarding a shidduch even if you dont know where the yeshuah is going to come from. arent we talking about being allowed and not allowed?

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 4:25 pm

amother Impatiens wrote:

you are allowed to ask for a open miracle all year round regarding a shidduch even if you dont know where the yeshuah is going to come from. arent we talking about being allowed and not allowed?

Just because someone's say, 40 and not married, doesn't mean it'll take a neis galoy to get him or her married.

↑ farmom ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 4:36 pm

I actually am very interested in this topic
Most miracles today come clothed in Teva. And we are told to never give up hope that Hashem can help us. I recently had some pretty amazing miracles happen to me bh, and if you don't look too hard, you could think that, like the story of purim, it all just happened to happen

So if anyone has sources on the topic I would love to see

(Of course certain times are more opportune ones for davening, just like candle lighting is an eis ratzon)

amother

↑ Impatiens ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 4:45 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Just because someone's say, 40 and not married, doesn't mean it'll take a neis galoy to get him or her married.

thats exactly what I meant to say.

so why are we only "allowed" to ask for open miracles as you gave an e.g a long awaited shidduch on chanukah?

amother

↑ DarkGreen ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 4:47 pm

farmom wrote:

That's exactly how it is and how it's meant to be right now. Just like the story of Purim, we're in a time of hester panim so we don't see the seas split or the water turn to blood. But in our hearts we know it was a miracle.
What we mean when we feel like a miracle just happened is that even though events unfolded in a way that could look ordinary to a bystander, we can feel inside our hearts that it came directly from Hashem's hand. Of course that's the same for when we open our eyes in the morning and see and also when we get up and stub our toes, but most of the time we don't notice it.
In our lives the world is run by Hashem according to the laws of teva and we don't (usually) daven for that to change, but we know He's standing behind every single thing that happens and watching over us.
It's when we start to think of segulas as some kind of game, do this and that and poof! the frog turns into a prince, that we get in trouble.

amother

↑ DarkGreen ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 7:32 pm

There's either some reading comprehension, language, or basic concept misunderstanding going on here, or all three.
There are no radical statements here.
No one said a long awaited shidduch is an open miracle. A miracle is a neiss. Teva is the world running according rules Hashem set up in creation, what we know as nature or science. A neiss is something that happens outside those boundaries.
If you waited fifty years to find a shidduch and then got married, there's no neiss. A man and woman met, liked each other, got married. Nothing happened there that doesn't happen to men and women every day. This particular couple waited a long time so when it happens they say it was a miracle. It's not a neiss. You can daven for a shidduch any day for anyone who needs it.
There are certain medical situations when according to the current scientific knowledge available to doctors, there seems to be no hope of a positive outcome. Shaylos have been asked of poskim regarding how to daven in such situations. The same rabbi who answers your other halachic questions can give you more clarity here.

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 9:09 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

Thank you for bumping this up! I am the ima who posted I was 3 months pregnant. I had a beautiful healthy daughter who I named Yehudis because of this... This pregnancy was a miracle from start to finish. I'm still in awe about it. Just want to give everyone chizzuk.

Wow, I have tears in my eyes as Im reading this. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful news.

amother

↑ Sand ↓

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 9:19 pm

I guess if it’s meant to work for someone then it will… and if it’s not meant to work then no matter what- it won’t

I’m sure Hashem needs more than just the request. People see great yeshuos when they take things upon themselves.
I know a lady who gave up her smartphone (not me- I’m typing on it right now) . Her son was having a hard time being frum and doing the right things. He wasn’t even putting on tefillin anymore. She told Hashem she’s getting rid of her phone in the zechus that her son will be a Ben Torah. Now you can’t get him out of the beis medrash. You would never know if you see him now that he had some hard years.

Another person woke up early to daven the whole shachris and say a lot of tehillim before work. She was married 7 years and no kids. She has a baby now.

I believe that a person would have to do more than writing a note and sticking it in the menorah… but it can’t hurt to try!

HarrietW

Sun, Dec 11 2022, 10:07 pm

Not sure it’s about working. Putting a note is a different way of praying. Hashem always listens but doesn’t always grant it. Since we are surrounded by tamei all year, if we attach our Tefillah to more holiness and on a Eis Ratzon, our Tefillos MAY carry more weight and zchusim. Hashem still listens and decides if he should grant/answer us. BTW we know for sure no Tefilla ever goes in vain.

amother

Opal

Mon, Dec 12 2022, 12:55 pm

I got this message last year on what to daven for each day of Chanukah.

1- not to be lonely or depressed.
2- shidduchim and shalom bayis.
3- healthy, happy and good children.
4- (imahos) to be a conventional woman within her own space who is true to her essence.
5- your husband and children should be talmidei chachamim. By the 5th night more of the monora is lit up. You can daven for revelation and light in your life.
6- simcha
7- blissful shabbos kodesh.
8- mesugal for children.

amother

Pearl ↓

Mon, Dec 12 2022, 1:01 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Please Cyclamen, don't even think of going there.
These segulah stories are terrible.
There are some segulahs that have a real source but these aren't magical spells. We're not living in Harry Potter or in a fairy tale. The way some people look at these things can literally be avoda zara.
It's nice people have good news to share and we're very happy they got their yeshua but I know someone personally who did this and nothing happened. I'm sure she's not the only one. The people who did it and didn't get their wish aren't here that's all.
Don't cry Cyclamen and stop hyperventilating. I'm so sorry for your loss but you have to know there was nothing you did that caused it. Sit in front of the candles this year and daven and may all your tefillos be answered in the best possible way.

I hate to agree with you. I really don't like these threads. As if hashem decides who should suffer and who shouldn't based an writing a note and leaving it somewhere on a certain day. Is that really hashem's system?

If only they did this during the holocaust. If only all the sick people would try this. If only all the poor people would try this. I'm sorry, should we start a thread 10 pages long of all the people that have tried this or other segulah's with no positive result? I think it's only fair. If we want to know if this trick works we have to ask ALL to respond, those who saw a yeshuah and those that didn't.

amother

↑ Pearl

Mon, Dec 12 2022, 1:09 pm

HarrietW wrote:

How do you reconcile this with hashem is always perfect and never makes mistakes and EVERYTHING he does is for the good? SO why bother even asking hashem for A, B, or C? Why not trust his perfect plan that is beyond our comprehension? Why are we giving hashem advice and saying that we think other idea is better for us?

amother

Cinnamon

Mon, Dec 12 2022, 1:14 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

Sometimes Hashem is waiting for our tefilos. Our job is to turn to Hashem and ask for our needs and wants. Hashem knows what is best for us, and in some situations He gives it and in other situations, He knows that it's best for us to not have it. But our job is to turn to Hashem.