Would you feel bad in this case? How can I make it better?

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:09 am

I'm on a WhatsApp group for one of my kids classes that is really not active. There are only five mothers on the group. It's a small class but also many of the mothers in the class don't use WhatsApp at all and the group just started casually at a meeting one day with the people who happened to be there, nobody ever gave out or sought out numbers so it stayed at that. A mostly silent group.

Now I started a conversation on the group about getting a joint present for the staff, and I realized that there are a few mothers who do have WhatsApp who aren't on the group.

I want to add them, but I don't want them to feel bad that they weren't added till now... What to do?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:11 am

In the end once I add these mothers, it would actually be 3/4 of the mothers in the class on the group--but I wouldn't have guessed that earlier in the year, only because I got the phone numbers from the teacher and now I see.

Sesame ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:12 am

If it’s a class WhatsApp, is there a reason why these mothers shouldn’t be included? That’s just being cliquey imo. Okay that u didn’t have the number before, but now you do, what reason is there to decide to exclude? Seems mean to me

amother

Linen ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:14 am

I’m in a small class and was added later. It was also a few in the room who agreed to it and then added the rest. I didn’t really think much of it. But you can always start new a chat and add everyone.

amother

↑ Linen

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:15 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Not having their numbers is a legitimate reason they weren’t in it. You can add and say now that I got all your numbers…

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:20 am

No, I definitely wouldn't exclude!!! Question is how to include, or do I make a new group. (There's still no way to hide that some conversation already happened, though?)

There is one mother whose number I did get halfway through the year, and I think in the back of my mind I assumed she was in the group already... The group was not active though, I really never explicitly thought about it. The other two I just got their numbers today, I think actually they may have joined the class midway through the year--one kid definitely came only within the last few weeks or months.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:21 am

Sesame wrote:

Right, I wouldn't exclude! Question is how to do it now in a way that they don't feel bad that they weren't added earlier.

amother

Strawberry

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:26 am

"Hi Moms! I've only just learnt that you have WhatsApp, so want to add you all to the class group immediately! Welcome aboard!"

amother

Bone ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:27 am

When someone is added they won't know what happened on the chat previously. You can add them without discussing how old the chat is.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:43 am

they don't see the date when the group was founded?

also--one of them I did send a WhatsApp message to purim time (my son wanted to bring her son mm, so I got her number from the teacher then). so I knew she had WhatsApp then, just didn't think of this...

the other two I just got the number now.

imaima

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:51 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It’s really not a big deal

amother

DarkMagenta ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 8:56 am

With so few mothers and it’s end of year already what’s the point? Just send a group text. Then you can even include those not using WhatsApp.

amother

Brown

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 9:45 am

I really think you are significantly overthinking this. People don’t usually take class mother WhatsApp groups so personally. You could also wait until the start of the next school year and add everyone then or start a new group then, that’s a logical time to add people.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:55 am

amother [ DarkMagenta ] wrote:

With so few mothers and it’s end of year already what’s the point? Just send a group text. Then you can even include those not using WhatsApp.

Because whether/what/how much to give is still under discussion, so unless I want to be the coordinator (which I don’t) just a one-time text isn’t enough.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:58 am

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

I hope you are right! Because making a new group now feels overly complicated/confusing.

But I don’t want to wait for the new school year because I want presents for the teachers to happen now, this year. (There’s about a week and a half left to school.)

↑ Sesame ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:06 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why does it need to be overly complicated and confusing? Either you want a class group (new or added) or not… it really doesn’t have to be a big deal!!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:13 am

I want a class group, for sure!

Making a new one when there’s already a perfectly good one feels complicated…

Last edited by amother on Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:20 am; edited 1 time in total

↑ Sesame ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:17 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I want a class group, for sure!

Making a new one when there’s already a perfectly good one feels complicated…

So just add the ppl you want added…. This feels like a lotta drama over nothing.