Think I'm doing the right thing, but it doesn't feel right

amother

OP ↓

Today at 1:11 pm

I'm a service provider in the food industry. Most of my work is for simchos, altho I also have private work from visitors (e.g tourists or grandparents coming in for yom tov or simchos).

Here and there I'm hired to help a family going thru difficulty, like illness or a difficult pregnancy and such.

Thru my work, I found out about a family who could use some help via their relative who works for me. She asked me if she could use my facility after hours to help them out a bit, and of course I agreed. Looks like they will need help for a while, it's not just for today and tomorrow.

I offered to help out at cost price, for which the family gratefully accepted. But, it seems they are struggling to pay even that as the mother is out of work due to her situation. She asks me to send her a cheshbon, which I've been doing but they seem to have difficulty paying. She keeps asking if I can wait a week, or more and sometimes pays but by no means all.

This is family who don't take advantage, they are genuinely struggling, and it must be very hard to have to accept the help, even if they could afford it. I don't want to stop helping them, but I can't afford to 'pay' to help them. I'm happy not to make a profit, I can't afford to give monetary help, but I love giving of my time when I can.

Not sure what to do.. Do I carry on sending her the bill, reach out to an organisation, or stop...? Altho if I stop, she'll probably end up paying for this service, not at cost.

WWYD?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 1:51 pm

Success10 wrote:

I would try to fundraise privately to cover the costs, if possible. Not revealing who they are, of course.

I was thinking about reaching out on their behalf, but this is where it gets sticky... I can think of a couple of organisations who could probably help, but I'd have to say who they are I imagine.

Molly Weasley

Today at 1:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

I was thinking about reaching out on their behalf, but this is where it gets sticky... I can think of a couple of organisations who could probably help, but I'd have to say who they are I imagine.

I would start with your ruv, who may be willing to take your word for it without having to disclose who it's for.

But what is the issue with seeking assistance for this individual, if it is done discreetly?

Its not your project any more than it's theirs, they have a responsibility towards his family as much as you do.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 2:35 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

You're right, it's the type of help community should be (and are) helping out with. But if I offer help, that's on me, but if I'm not sure that if I can't manage it re the finance, is it right of me approach others on their behalf? Hope you get what I'm saying, not sure I'm being clear.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 2:42 pm

farmom wrote:

Can you discuss it with the relative? Usually organizations know how to be discreet.
And if the community is already helping out, it’s not a major secret.

The relative who told me is a cousin, she's a single girl so I don't want to disscuss her cousin's financial issues with her, it wouldn't be fair to the family. But you gave me an idea, her mother knows about it and is helping out with babysitting etc, so, thanks, that's probably a good idea.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 2:49 pm

farmom wrote:

Can you discuss it with the relative? Usually organizations know how to be discreet.
And if the community is already helping out, it’s not a major secret.

People know on a need to know basis. They want to keep it quiet, which IMHO is not always the best thing, but they're entitled to their privacy. If they were keeping it quiet, and complaining that no-one's helping then I would ask for them, but like this, it's hard to know what the right thing is.

I wish I would've offered earlier, and even when I finally did, I wasn't sure if it was the right thing. altho ultimately it was. I thought of the little kiddies, and called, but they deserve their dignity. If I would say what the situation is, you'd probably understand my dilemma, but I can't just in-case she's on here.