Invitations for a wedding

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Jun 09 2022, 10:44 am

Forgive my first timerness- but at what point during an engagement does one order invitations and bentchers, the mechutanim usually plan it together? I’ve made a bar mitzvah- and I obviously didn’t need to ask anyone else. Wedding is in September, and I want to send invitations out in a semi timely manner.

singleagain ↓

Thu, Jun 09 2022, 10:50 am

I think .. based on my memory. Invites go out about 6 weeks before event.

You'll need time to put them together and send them out. So you need to have them delivered 8 weeks before event.

Benchers etc just need to be ready for event. Check different places to know lead times

Why wouldn't you do it with inlaws? It doesn't only belong to you...

Sesame

Thu, Jun 09 2022, 11:03 am

I think it depends on your circles. In my circles the kallah does/chooses the invites. Obviously if you can give the other side some options to choose together from it would be a good idea. Definitely they should at the very least see the proof before purchasing.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 09 2022, 11:08 am

singleagain wrote:

I think .. based on my memory. Invites go out about 6 weeks before event.

Why wouldn't you do it with inlaws? It doesn't only belong to you...

I’m sorry if I was unclear- I definitely know that I want/need to involve them.

↑ singleagain ↓

Thu, Jun 09 2022, 11:20 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m sorry if I was unclear- I definitely know that I want/need to involve them.

Then I'm not sure what you're asking... If it's September. I'd start looking at designs / wording now. If you want to find half a dozen options you like with quotes and all and send it ...I'd start that now, bc don't know how long it's gonna take to find something you'll all like and depending on when in September. You'll need these ready to go out by August. Working backwards, you'll prob need to give final proofs two-three weeks before that in July.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 09 2022, 11:22 am

singleagain wrote:

Pretty much about the timing.
This is my first time and I don’t know anything. And I am apprehensive that I don’t know anything.

↑ singleagain

Thu, Jun 09 2022, 11:26 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Pretty much about the timing.
This is my first time and I don’t know anything. And I am apprehensive that I don’t know anything.

Ah.

Okay. Has the other side made a wedding before? Or is it their first time also?

If they've experience .. let them lead.

If they also are first time commiserate that y'all are in the same boat

But unless someone else chimes in that my timeline is wrong... I think what I said makes sense.

You'll want to mail invites about 6 weeks before wedding.

You'll need to 1 week to stuff... Less if you have more hands.

Allow 2-3 weeks for printer (ask them when you call for quote)

So you'll need to finalize the design 8-9 weeks before wedding.

Which means start designing / talking about it now. Just to give time for creative discussion.

amother

Fern

Sat, Jun 11 2022, 10:19 pm

I haven't made a wedding yet, but we are making a Bar Mitzvah now. I would definitely get the process going now!

It takes a while for proofs, going back and forth with the printer to get things right. (I imagine the chossen's family will take a look too.) The place I used for the Bar Mitzvah said 2-3 weeks, and I I really thought it would take much less time. 2 1/2 weeks!

Also, benchers....do soon! The place I used was completely out of stock of many types of benchers due to the paper shortage. We ended up with the most expensive type because we didn't like the style of the others available (also pretty expensive, too) The style we chose was definitely not what we had intended, and we changed a bunch of stuff around, but in the end it was ok (just a lot more!)

Also, start gathering addresses now! That took so long!

amother

Lightgray

Sat, Jun 11 2022, 10:47 pm

If you're chasidish the invitations go out like 2-3 weeks before the chasuna. Yeshivish is more like 4-6 weeks. Benchers is an old fashioned thing but people still do it here and there. Since takanos came out the halls provide the benchers (not for keeps)

ra_mom

Sat, Jun 11 2022, 10:52 pm

Wedding invitation should be in the mail 4 weeks before. You want enough time for people to be able to plan but not so much time that they forget about it.
Start ordering now.

amother

Marigold

Sat, Jun 11 2022, 11:00 pm

Most communities have "invitation ladies" with businesses from their homes and some Judaica stores sell invitations. I would recommend calling one of them immediately to make an appointment. They are experienced and can guide you with communal norms for when to mail. Then, you work backward from time you need to send. Leave enough time for stuffing and addressing, and mailing envelopes (most places offer a service of computer printing addresses for a charge or slightly less elegant but cheaper you can make address labels on a computer printer). You will also need to take envelope to be weighed at post office to make sure the postage is correct. Some towns will "hand cancel" invitations so that delicate envelopes are not torn by the canceling machines. Check with your post office or ask the invitation people for advice. Mazal tov!

HudisB

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 1:55 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Keep in mind if you will be sending them overseas, those invitations will need a little more time.

I did digital invites (Yidcards.com) so local and international left at once.. started on my email list upon engagement but did design, and sending 3 weeks prior… you can call them to discuss timing and design as well.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 2:15 pm

amother [ Lightgray ] wrote:

Really bentchers aren’t done anymore? I didn’t know.