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amother
Navyblue
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Tue, Jan 25 2022, 8:46 am
I think the age of the kids does matter here. There has to be space for a kid to say or feel, "Actually, it's really hard for me, and I don't feel any joy." For someone who doesn't feel the achdus, who has no friends in school but is accepted well in his non-Jewish karate class, or whatever.
It's really easy for a kid to feel like he or she must not belong as a Jew if everyone else is affirming or nodding and talking about how it's great, and they just wish they could get out of school early like the neighbor and not have to sit through slave over work in a language they find really hard. You need a plan for that, whether the reaction is said out loud or not.
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PinkFridge
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Tue, Jan 25 2022, 8:52 am
amother [ Navyblue ] wrote: | I think the age of the kids does matter here. There has to be space for a kid to say or feel, "Actually, it's really hard for me, and I don't feel any joy." For someone who doesn't feel the achdus, who has no friends in school but is accepted well in his non-Jewish karate class, or whatever.
It's really easy for a kid to feel like he or she must not belong as a Jew if everyone else is affirming or nodding and talking about how it's great, and they just wish they could get out of school early like the neighbor and not have to sit through slave over work in a language they find really hard. You need a plan for that, whether the reaction is said out loud or not. |
Good point.
Simcha is actually a mandate. There is a mitzvah to have simchas yom tov. And the tochacha might be distilled into one pasuk: Tachas asher lo avadta es Hashem b'simcha. Like if someone gives you a gift and you don't appreciate it, we have to recognize all the gifts we have. There's a great story in Rabbi Spero's book on bensching on the first bracha, about a chassid who was down in the dumps over parnasa IIRC and his rebbe asked, remind me, how many years were you a single?
- Actually, I found my wife quickly.
And those years of infertility.
- No, we had children easily.
And being homeless must be hard
- No, we have a house.
Etc.
There are many brachos in our lives that when we feel down, we can remind ourselves of. Not in a beat yourself up for not being holy way but in an empowering way.
But, and it's a big BUT like all mitzvos, it takes work. It's not going to be easy. So someone who's having a hard time should know that it's a challenge, and like all challenges it's 2 steps forward one back, and s/he should endorse her/himself for every step forward. Even if one backtracks it's still something to hold on to and cherish.
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amother
Daphne
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Tue, Jan 25 2022, 8:57 am
bigsis144 wrote: | Please please don’t base your curriculum around how bad/depraved/lost/meaningless/etc non-Jews are. |
I understand how OP says this didn’t even occur to her, and I also understand asking for some sensitivity and diversity of message.
I was in a school production whose theme was “Simply Not the Same”. Within those 2+ hours were sooo many songs about the Jews’ persecution throughout the centuries, ballets with meshalim of the Jews as a dove among the wolves, song lyrics about being “select and elite”, princesses lost among those whose “only aim is to lure you away” etc.
You choose what to focus on. The above messages aren’t evil or even wrong, but should be presented at the appropriate time and in the appropriate venue.
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