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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
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Motek
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Sun, Apr 13 2008, 5:01 pm
chocolate moose wrote: |
I see robes for $450 and they're nothing special. |
For $450? Hmmm, guess it's like the olive oil you got for Pesach for pennies. Never heard where you got that. Where have you seen $450 robes?
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freidasima
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Sun, Apr 13 2008, 5:18 pm
With all the work, finally got around to it today. I got everyone their pesach presents on the way home from work. DH got a new table shtender to learn from, his old one is falling apart after so long...the dd's got new tops and the ds's got new shirts, socks and underwear (especially the chayal, he is running out of stuff, so he says), my wonderful mother got a new scarf in the print she loves (leopard, when I gave it to her she said that with me and the kids getting her that print for everything these days she walks around like a "spotted animal" - her words, not mine), my in laws got a fance havdala candle and holder which we are sending with someone to America for them to have for yuntif...
And lo and behold, dh surprised me with a yuntif robe. He knows my type, my style, and my size (not so difficult, extra everything...) and it is beautiful. He must have put aside money for this since Rosh Hashana....
Gorgeous black with embroidery around the neck and hem and cuffs. What a man! I once asked him how he goes into the ladies stores and gets these things for me and he blushed...(even through the beard...white beard, red blush, get the picture?) in any case he told me that for a few years already he asks his mother to see what is "in" (my MIL is 85 you understand!) and describe it, and then she tells a friend in Yerushalayim (around 90) who finds it for dh and he just goes to the store, tells them the size and voila.
Now I finally know the truth. What a man. What a mother in law! I should be so good to my future daughters in law!
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Tehilla
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 7:56 am
thanks everyone! amein to your brachas. we should all be blessed!
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happyone
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 9:06 am
Motek wrote: | chocolate moose wrote: |
I see robes for $450 and they're nothing special. |
For $450? Hmmm, guess it's like the olive oil you got for Pesach for pennies. Never heard where you got that. Where have you seen $450 robes? |
and here I thought I've seen it all... I'd love to see a $450 robe, although I wouldn't want to be seen wearing one.
I for one am perfectly happy with my old jewelery and clothes.
I'm trying to figure out if this thread is aimed at making woman that don't shop feel deprived??!!! ( I don't feel that way at all)
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chocolate moose
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 10:32 am
It says in Rambam that a woman should get new clothng and jewelry according to her means.
What would that make anyone feel deprived?
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justanothermother
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:07 am
How would a woman who can barely put together enough money to buy matzah and wone for Pesach, whose children are wearing patched up hand me downs feel when she reads that I just bought myself a brand new wardrobe, my husband bought me a tennis bracelet, and my children got three new outfits each, with matching custom made bows and hand dyed shoes?
(The only part of the above which is true is the custom bows. I taught myself how to make all types of boutique bows while stuck in bed, and now my daughters have a bow to match almost every outfit and my son has kippas decorated to match his little sweater vests.)
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Crayon210
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:13 am
So should there never be threads of a positive nature on here? I think that can be said for almost anything on this board.
"What are you cooking for Shabbos?" Should this not be allowed since there might be posters who can't afford more than a carrot for Shabbos?
"Cute things your kid does." Should this not be allowed since there are posters here who haven't been blessed?
"Lost 25 pounds." Should this not be allowed since there are posters who are having a hard time losing weight?
How far does this go?
If you don't like it, don't read it!
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GAMZu
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:22 am
I honestly understand what you are saying, but each thread here can't be tailored to please everyone.
Like the other thread, which Rabbonim are you related to... plenty of people are not... but you know, it's not fair for the ones that do relate to the topic at hand to keep quiet about it.
By some neis this year, we were able to make Pesach without going into debt. Honestly, feel my money is spent better when it goes to others than to a multi-hundred $ suit. That's just me.
So no, I don't feel bad when I see people bought a $500 suit or whatever. Even though I never will.
To say the truth, the people who would feel bad about this thread wouldn't even open it...
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amother
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:22 am
chocolate moose wrote: | It says in Rambam that a woman should get new clothng and jewelry according to her means.
What would that make anyone feel deprived? |
Some men don't do it...
My dh doesn't but I've learned to live with it..
And I don't mind threads like this. It tugs at my heart, because dh also doesn't commemorate my birthday our anniversary and doesn't even give a gift for Yom Tov, but b'h there are things we do have that others don't...
If we were to avoid all subjects that might be painful to anyone, we would not be able to talk about anything.
Ladies, enjoy your presents in good health...I mean that sincerely...and appreciate what you have!
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justanothermother
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:24 am
Threads where we can encourage and support each other are great. What did you cook- we worked hard to make Shabbos, we deserve kudos, and we can help give others ideas on what to make. Cute things your kids do- we can share nachas with each other, raising children is a difficult job, it is uplifting to share the joyful aspects. Lost 25 pounds- Once again, someone who works hard should get kudos for her effort and she may inspire others towards their weight loss goals.
But I fail to see how a thread like this benefits anyone in any way. I only see a potential pitfall of lo kinah and lifnei eever.
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yo'ma
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:25 am
Quote: | If we were to avoid all subjects that might be painful to anyone, we would not be able to talk about anything.
| So, how's the weather?
Here, it's getting chilly, in the 60's.
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Crayon210
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:26 am
Because people sometimes just want to shmooze and share.
And the OP also wanted to raise awareness about this mitzvah. :-)
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Akeres Habayis
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:26 am
totally agree crayon,I think the ones who have responded negatively,or maybe "overworked and underpaid".I hope that next yr,somehow they will be able to purchase something.
we live on a kollel stipend and a tiny bit from the states.my dh said to me when we started figuring out what to buy (matzoh,wine etc)he said take off this amount after meiser and then buy yourself something,whatever's left will be what we have for the necessities for pesach
I think the point of the thread is that we dont forget that we should be able to have something,whether its socks,a t-shirt,scarf it is the thought that counts.and if this yr it, tight,b'zrat Hashem it will get better.but dont knock us for posting,even though I haven't bought anything for myself yet
I still have a couple ofdays
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Crayon210
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:27 am
yo'ma wrote: | Quote: | If we were to avoid all subjects that might be painful to anyone, we would not be able to talk about anything.
| So, how's the weather?
Here, it's getting chilly, in the 60's. |
It's -40 here and I just saw a bird drop dead from a tree from the cold.
Mods, delete the thread! The agony!
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GAMZu
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:27 am
What about being happy for other Yidden? That's what you can gain from this thread.
Or else in cases of spending $1000 on perfume, you can be proud that you have your priorities straight. Lots of positivity to gain here.
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justanothermother
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:35 am
Crayon210 wrote: | yo'ma wrote: | Quote: | If we were to avoid all subjects that might be painful to anyone, we would not be able to talk about anything.
| So, how's the weather?
Here, it's getting chilly, in the 60's. |
It's -40 here and I just saw a bird drop dead from a tree from the cold.
Mods, delete the thread! The agony!
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Ha, ha.
B"H we are not in a position that this issue is painful. We own a supermarket and Pesach is a very happy financial time for us. But it has also made me very aware of the anguish that poverty can cause.
I'm not out to change the world. Keep the thread, delete the thread, laugh all you want. It has already been debated in earlier pages here. Making someone aware of the halacha and discussing the details of the halacha is very different than comparing what we all bought. It doesn't hurt me personally, but I can see the hurt it can potentially cause.
There is also a Rambam stating that a husband should honor his wife more than himself. Do you think it's appropriate to start a thread where women talk about what their husband does to honor them?
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Crayon210
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:36 am
I think that causes direct shalom bayis issues. I know this could cause SB issues, but I think they're secondary and I'm not worried about secondary issues like that. Otherwise ain l'davar sof.
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chocolate moose
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:40 am
GAMZu wrote: | What about being happy for other Yidden? That's what you can gain from this thread.
Or else in cases of spending $1000 on perfume, you can be proud that you have your priorities straight. Lots of positivity to gain here. |
Each person on their level. There were years that I got costume jewlery, or bought stuff at thrift shops.
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mimivan
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Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:40 am
As Chocolate Moose pointed out, poverty isn't such an issue, because the Rambam said a man should give his wife a present within their means. If they are poor, he could give her a simple scarf for instance..
But I'm more concerned about what amother seemed to be saying is that her dh just doesn't do it. Period. If it is a shalom bayis issue, it can be incredibly painful...
At the same time, being aware of this, I still think threads like this should have a right to exist, but we should be aware that some are bothered by them... and try not to be overly ostentatious.
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