HELP , I can't read what my 9.5 year old dd is writing

FINKEL ↓

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 4:27 pm

I hope anyone can advise me what to do
My dd is 9.5 and excelling in school
her report cards are full of only A's ..
besides for one thing, and its always the same
HANDWRITING
its so bad , I mamesh can't read it..
when I asked her about it she says I dont have to be perfect in everything, so this is my flaw !
She won a major spelling bee today
I told her, I rather you did not win , but you write neater
anyway I decided I want to hire someone for money to "tutor " her to write nicer
how do I go about it? where would I find anyone?
thanks

mummiedearest

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 5:49 pm

I hope she wasn't insulted that the spelling bee was less important to you. I would have been. and I had awful handwriting. go buy her some colorful pens and a journal and encourage her to write every night. it'll get better eventually. (mine was legible by the end of high school.) please don't look at a "grade" in handwriting. she's right about this being a flaw. she can't study to make it better and tutoring won't help. it takes time and patience.

↑ FINKEL ↓

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 6:03 pm

she writes all day long ( in school) ( writes like a pro)
and then at home, she writes me letters poems and she has a diary
yet its still not improving as she has to decide she wants to improve and up untill now she decided that its who she is and she is ok with it and she don't see a reason why she should improve it
thats why I want someone to sit with her and practice with her
I would do it with her but she would need it to be someone else she would like to impress...

Mimisinger ↓

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 8:31 pm

honestly,, I don't see the big deal. As a teacher, yes it's great for a kid to have good handwriting, but these days, she can type reports on the computer and as long as her teachers can read it, which it seems they can because she's getting A's, I wouldn't worry about it.

I also think it was extremely rude and hurtful to tell her that you don't care about her huge accomplishment, winning the spelling bee and only about handwriting which is a non subject matter. You can have the neatest or messiest handwriting and be as dumb as a brick or as brilliant as the sun. Big deal, she has messy handwriting.

↑ FINKEL ↓

Tue, Apr 08 2008, 9:44 pm

I was not asking about parenting tips right now,
I of course did not ask it in such a way to make her feel bad
I told it to her in a very nice way which was not hurtfull at all
but did not want to write this whole drushe when I was pointing but I was trying to make a point that she is a a plus student, and likes to be the best in everything so I am suprised that she has no interest in working on her handwriting,
since she won the spelling bee of her grade she is now competing for the spelling bee of her school and I told her she dont need to work so hard , I really would still be very proud of her even if she didnt win, but what I do want from her is to please work on her handwriting...
so thats how it was
and actually she wrote me a card last night ( begging me to not stay home for the seder as she wants to go to my mil as it will be boring at home she writes....) so I told her thank you for your card , but I am sorry since I could not read what you wrote I cant fulfill your wishes
so I am giving her subtle hints here and there that it bothers me.
and for those of you that say its not so important and big deal,
true, but at this age its still changeable and I think she will apreciate it later on in life if she does have a nice handwriting as she can draw very nice so it will interfere with her aritistc projects...

amother

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 5:38 am

Finkel, maybe she tried and gave up. I used to try so hard as a child to make my handwriting neater. I remember my mother used to buy these books to practice. Yet nothing helped. Even now, as a teacher, when I write on the board, I need to concentrate alot to write neatly, and even then I erase half the time bec. I think it's too messy for First graders, who need to learn how to write their letters, let alone, neatly.
She may have tried and tried, and saw to no avail. ANd that's why she's trying not to feel guilty about that "failure." So she's telling you that no one is perfect. Which she IS right about!

BTW, even though I have such a messy handwriting (which I am NOT at all proud of, and I'll still sit down once in awhile and try to practice writing properly) and my students love my handwriting.
Yesterday, I was making a list in the classroom (for myslef only, so I wasn't trying to write neatly) and one student asked me how I spelled her name - with an O or a U. I said U. She said she thought it looked like an O, and she wanted to let me know the correct spelling. So I told her that I know, my handwriting is very messy. So she said, "No it's not, I love your handwriting. The only reason I can't read it is bec. it's script" (which BTW it's not!)

I do not take pride in my faulty handwriting, I just want you to know I discovered yessterday that it's not the end of the world.
But I will admit, that when it comes to spelling, math, brains, I got it! BH!
And DH has a beautiful handwriting, but sometimes I really wonder where he was when G-d gave out brains.

I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A TRUE POST. BUT TO PROTECT DH, I AM POSTING AS AMOTHER> I have PM'ed you with my ID, so you know who I am, to know that it's real. If anyone else needs to verify, feel free to let me know here, and I'll PM you.

↑ Mimisinger ↓

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 5:48 am

I'm sorry Finkel, I still think you're rude to your daughter. You negated a beautiful gesture that she made to you - the writing of a card. How many parents and teachers would be thrilled to have their child involved in writing at home?!

And by the way, your hints are NOT "subtle." I'm sure they cut like a knife. Get a grip, and, instead of worrying about her handwriting, worry about your own spelling and punctuation. I know we don't write on these threads as we would on a school essay, but your post would certainly not get A's from me for punctuation.

↑ yo'ma

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 6:43 am

If you want her to practice, just get her handwriting books. Maybe you could even get it from the school. Just tell her to do one page a week or day. If she knows how to write, a tutor will just sit with her to do it, there's nothing to learn, it just takes practice. Does she like to write? Because if she doesn't, that may be a main reason for her not to care.

↑ FINKEL ↓

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 7:02 am

you see MIMISINGER
posts like the one you just posted is the reason why I think 100 times before I post here...
first of all before you go criticizing me on my english /spelling etc
how about I tell you that I NEVER learned english and that I grew up for 20 years in a non english speaking country and the english that I do know I taught my self and it happens to be that people that know me are so surprised that I was not born in brooklyn as my english is so good one can hardly notice an accent !!!

that being said, please re read my op, again I say I was not asking for parenting tips, I can do that on another post, I was not asking if I was treating my 9.5 year old daughter with respect ( last time I checked kids should respect their parents not the other way round , and yes I do realize that I have to respect my daughter but the end of the day , I am still her mother and if I am going to walk on eggshells next to her and treat her like a queen , thats not chinuch at all..) and if she wrote me a note and I cant read it and she knows she wrote it very sloppy there is nothing wrong in me saying to her, listen dear thank you for your card but I cant read a word you wrote to which she smiled and said yes I know , I was writing very fast so I will re write it as even I can hardly read it............
I asked where I can get a tutor and thanks for the other posters advice that a tutor might not even help
and to those who asked if she likes to write , the answer is yes yes yes, she writes alot at home, she likes to write poems and letters to me and to her friends , etc
so the problem is not that she does not like to write
and I am not making such a big deal out of it , but was thinking maybe a little help now might go along way later, if that does not work I will know I tried my best and the rest is up to Hashem....

↑ Mimisinger

Wed, Apr 09 2008, 7:28 am

I'm sorry I offended you Finkel.

I just think that there are ways to teach, without putting anyone down.

Why don't you try different strategies with her to help her slow down. Here are a few things you can do together (if you still want to read my posts)

1)Sit down and write a story with her. You write one line, she writes one line. Back and forth until it's done. It will slow down her writing and you will be there one on one with her to encourage her to write neatly.

2)Go to the store with her and let her pick out a special pen and a special journal. These will help her think more highly of writing as a process.

3)Has her fine motor skills been tested? Have you ever seen her write neatly, or is she just unable to do it? Sometimes you need specialists to work on her fine motor skills - this would also show itself in using scissors, playing the violin.

4)Write letters to important people - her teacher, the president, a senator, a great Rabbi. Have her think of what's important to her - what does she want to change? Have her write her letter and then go back and help her to revise and edit her writing for clarity, spelling, punctuation, does it make sense, grammar, etc. Then when it's all done, write a final (neat) copy and send that. Of course, you can NEVER send a messy letter to the President of the USA. Smile

It will also encourage her to write more people when she gets responses.

If you want me to think of any other ideas, let me know.