If you were the Teacher what would u do?

amother ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 2:59 pm

I am talking about a little girl from a biggish litvishe family 3yrs old. Who ever since she has been in daycare at age 19mnths to now being in my class has a very raw sore bottom. SHe is always traveling there almost all the time every day in school which is four hours. If we tell her to pull her skirt down then she will lift her top up and touch both her nipples or her belly button. This child is always coming with colds dirty clothes she is an adorable child when she is in a good mood if you get her in a bad one she becomes expressionless time out doesn't work her face turns to stone and she looks as if she just doesn't care.

Afte years of me working with all types of children and teachinmg for many more. This child seems to me like a survival one she is strong and doesn't care going out in the snow with only knee hi and jacket no hat or gloves. When I've approached the mother she just says she the child doesn't care so she the mother doesn't. The child does seem well fed. Are these warning signs besides neglect, abuse too and most importantly how do I handle it? I do know they have a nanny whom the mother told me her daughter does not like.................
Should I leave it be or speak up to the parents and what should I say also other teachers concer with me but are helpless. the prinicpal will not do anything hats to make waves etc.

Ruchel

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 3:44 pm

I agree with Voyager. It may be nothing, but I find it weird, a mother that does not care "just because" the child does not care... My dd is the strong, not cry baby type (lol), but still I AM afraid/in pain if she falls or whatever. See what I mean?

Weird and repetitive behaviour + not sensitive to pain remind me what I read on certain cases of autism, by the way.

mummiedearest ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 3:49 pm

not only should you find some way to help the girl, I think you're morally obligated to report the principal. he is legally obligated to report possible abuse. bash away, but I don't care how frum he/she is, if he doesn't report the parents, you report him.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:03 pm

Ruchel interesting point about autism Idea

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agreed, please take proper steps to investigate

Tehilla HOW?

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I think you're morally obligated to report the principal.

He will do nada! because of the dynamics he could lose his job he wont make waves. Besdies we don't have concrete evidence of anything and the kid is not a talker Confused

↑ Tehilla ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:09 pm

so if your principal won't do anything, then you can make anonymous calls to social services to say what you told us and what the proper procedure would be. it may be nothing, but it makes me very suspicious. maybe not the mother, but the nanny that the child doesn't like. who knows.

I was an abused child, and as such do implore you it sounds very off for SOME reason.

I'm pretty sure you could google "how to report abuse," or even call anonymously for the whole procedure and protect your job.

at any rate, if you have been observing this for awhile and it has gotten no better or worse then something should be done.

↑ mummiedearest ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:14 pm

amother wrote:

Ruchel interesting point about autism Idea

Quote:

agreed, please take proper steps to investigate

Tehilla HOW?

Quote:

I think you're morally obligated to report the principal.

He will do nada! because of the dynamics he could lose his job he wont make waves. Besdies we don't have concrete evidence of anything and the kid is not a talker Confused

I did not mean report TO the principal, I meant report HIM if he refuses to make waves when they are needed. he should not be put in charge of children, and can lose whatever license he may have over this. you absolutely can report your employer for not reporting cases of abuse.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:25 pm

See perhaps the parents don't know anything about it, or it is autism so whilst I agree something should be done asap is reporting it the way to go Confused

could I not speak to the parents just to inform them we as in the school know there is something amiss could they find the solution. My question again is how do I approach it?

↑ Tehilla ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:26 pm

ok so maybe first the parents should be approached. is there a guidance counselor/social worker for your school? I know lots of schools have that. perhaps you could go to that person, and they in turn could approach the parents. are you the only teacher? meaning it could be one of a few people...?

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:32 pm

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is there a guidance counselor/social worker for your school?

No, I wish Sad

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are you the only teacher? meaning it could be one of a few people...?

[/quote]
No there are three of us in different classes but with same views Confused

↑ mummiedearest

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:35 pm

there are two problems we have here:

1- the child may be displaying autistic tendencies, in which case she should be evaluated properly. this should probably be suggested to the parents by the principal WHOSE JOB IT IS TO MAKE WAVES WHEN NECESSARY. if he thinks this will cost him his job, he has a basis for a lawsuit against his superiors.

2- the mother is neglecting her child. not laundering her child's clothing and not bundling the child properly are certainly problematic. you also metioned a raw bottom. whether this is caused by the parents you don't know, but they seem to not be treating it, and it OBVIOUSLY bothers her based on your observations, so the mother has no excuse. (not that excuses make it excusable...)
again you need to report this to the principal, who in turn, should report it to the state. (that's the law in ny, anyway.) if not him, is there a school couselor/ social worker you can talk to? I repeat IF THE PROPER AUTHORITIES FAIL TO REPORT THIS THEY SHOULD BE REPORTED BY YOU, oh, and your report should be in writing. date it and keep a copy for yourself. this applies to your report to the principal, not necessarily to your report on the principal.

↑ Tehilla ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 4:35 pm

then you, as a teacher and someone who CAN make a difference--and while the child is still young enough--need to contact someone knowledgeable yourself. find a frum therapist, Rav, frum social worker to talk to. if you want, you may PM me (or give me an anon email addy) and I can give you the number of a frum social worker from one of the local schools here. she's a wonderful person and I'm sure would have some helpful advice for you.

the important thing is not to proceed with inaction, possibly further endangering the child.

↑ MRS.Mentsch ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 5:54 pm

I know you are worried, and want to do the right thing, so please take this with a grain of salt, but perhaps saying something to the possible abuser could make this worse. OP you are doing a huge mitzvah, please help this child, or things could CVS get worse. Hazlacha.

Last edited by MRS.Mentsch on Mon, Oct 26 2009, 7:50 pm; edited 2 times in total

chaylizi ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 6:04 pm

I don't know about the legal responsibilities of educators when it comes to possible abuse- but healthcare workers can lose their license to practice AND be fined AND be prosecuted criminally for failing to report possible cases of abuse. It is not funny & we need to feel some kind of social achrayus for kids (or even adults- elder abuse is also a crime) under our care.

MahPitom

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 7:19 pm

You can report it anonymously to social services as a neighbor or family friend. If the day care center is not legal, I can understand why the principal would not want to get involved. Call in as if you know the family as an acquaintance and not professionally.

chayitty ↓

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 7:33 pm

first of all when u report it theyll pull this kid out on no evidence...the kid will go into the system and things will just be worse...I would get a frum socail worker involved see if there is something valid behind ur suspsions and take it from there