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Emee
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 Wed, Mar 19 2008, 4:11 pm
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Squash don't you think most peopel get raises? I mean I work in the secular world so maybe it's different but I get a raise every 6 months. So the older I get the more I make...assuming I stay at the same place.
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AGINY
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Wed, Mar 19 2008, 4:12 pm
| Mama Bear wrote: | | AGINY wrote: |
MamaBear, out of curiosity, how do the expenses suddenly get lower when the family is older / larger. I would love to stop working, but as the years go by the tuition bills, clothing bills, groceries, etc all go up up up. How does a family that was relying on the second income as you said to pay the impossible rent, suddenly not need it anymore? |
You misunderstood.
Rents have gone up, salaries haven't. So, when I was, let's say, 21, rent was $850.00. You could manage it on a man's starting salary of $400. Today, rents for a 2 bedroom are $1400. So, when a man starting out in a warehouse type job makes $500, he cannot cover his rent, food, utilities etc. on his salary, so his wife is forced to remain in the workforce for a couple of years until her husband's salary is a bit higher so they can afford the rent. In my age bracket, the men are already earning more than a starter salary, so the wives no longer need to work. Plus, a young 21 yr old can still work more or less full time the first 2-3 years until her kid starts school and she has to be home by 3, at which her salary either drops cuz she goes part time, or she quits to stay home at that point cuz she's had enough of working. |
I guess your husbands salaries are raised in accordance with your growing families? To me, each pay raise has kindof coincided with an expense raise too, and it is very difficult to think of ever getting out of the working ratrace that leaves me so exhausted!
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Squash
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Wed, Mar 19 2008, 4:15 pm
yeah, but emee, like aginy just wrote, the expenses increase almost at the same pace.
I think it's unrealistic to say that by this and this age you will make enough money. parnassa is from Hashem. there are so many people who are close to me who are struggling tremendously, nebach, all different ages. then there are young shnooks who are extremely successful.
I just find it incredulous to say it has anything to do with age.
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Blossom
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Wed, Mar 19 2008, 4:18 pm
The question of this thread is "What is Chassidish life like?"
Not "What makes being Chassidish better than being Litvish/Yeshivish or vice versa" as the last few pages have made it seem like.
Don't forget whether you are Chassidish, Litvish, Yeshivish, Modern Chassidish, Modern Yeshivish, Orthodox, Modern Orthodox or somewhere in between We Have More in Common than we have Differences.
I have learned a lot here on imamother and have come to respect each one of you as an individual and as a part of Klal Yisroel. I have come to respect all of you minhagim, many of which I don't understand and many of which I got to understand thanks to imamother. I hope everyone else can say the same that thanks to imamother, whatever they've learned from all different types of Yidden on here has been a really special experience and they've come to respect each and every kind of community and each individual.
I hope imamother is yet another venue to bring us all closer and show that despite our differences we have much more in common than not.
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Emee
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Wed, Mar 19 2008, 4:22 pm
Well said blossom.
Last edited by Emee on Wed, Nov 04 2009, 7:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Motek
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Thu, Mar 20 2008, 8:50 am
[quote="Crayon210"I don't think that Chassidim tend to be more warm and in 'contact' with their emotions than Litvaks. I think that people are more complex than that.[/quote]
Yet the expressions are:
a kalta (cold) Litvak
a heisa (hot) Chasid
| defy wrote: | | I don't think you can generalize so much about such a large group of people. |
Sure you can and it's called a "generalization" for that reason 
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mimivan
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Thu, Mar 20 2008, 9:03 am
| Motek wrote: | | [quote="Crayon210"I don't think that Chassidim tend to be more warm and in 'contact' with their emotions than Litvaks. I think that people are more complex than that. |
Yet the expressions are:
a kalta (cold) Litvak
a heisa (hot) Chasid
| defy wrote: | | I don't think you can generalize so much about such a large group of people. |
Sure you can and it's called a "generalization" for that reason [/quote]
I've got to remember that one Motek!
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creativemommyto3
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Mon, Oct 26 2009, 1:15 pm
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bumping due to recent thread about chassidim.. thought it would be an interesting reread
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lech lecha08
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Mon, Nov 02 2009, 9:07 am
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I have a question because of a picture that I saw. Yeshiva world news had a collection of Sukkos pictures and in one a rebbe (possibly the Bobov Rebbe) was lighting a menorah in his sukka. Is that a minhag or is there an inyan to that?
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Besiyata Dishmaya
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Mon, Nov 02 2009, 9:45 am
| lech lecha08 wrote: | | I have a question because of a picture that I saw. Yeshiva world news had a collection of Sukkos pictures and in one a rebbe (possibly the Bobov Rebbe) was lighting a menorah in his sukka. Is that a minhag or is there an inyan to that? |
Hah? A Rebbe lighting a Chanukah menorah in the succah? Do you have a link to that picture. Must be that that year Chanukah probably fell on Chol Hamo'ed Succos.
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Cookies n Cream
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Mon, Nov 02 2009, 9:55 am
| Besiyata Dishmaya wrote: | | lech lecha08 wrote: | | I have a question because of a picture that I saw. Yeshiva world news had a collection of Sukkos pictures and in one a rebbe (possibly the Bobov Rebbe) was lighting a menorah in his sukka. Is that a minhag or is there an inyan to that? |
Hah? A Rebbe lighting a Chanukah menorah in the succah? Do you have a link to that picture. Must be that that year Chanukah probably fell on Chol Hamo'ed Succos. |
SOmetimes, the Rebbe's Sukkah is larger than the Shul, and therefore they light in the Sukkah to accomodate the big crowd that comes to watch .
(I think my Rebbe lit in The Sukka a couple of times.)
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lech lecha08
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Mon, Nov 02 2009, 9:56 am
| Besiyata Dishmaya wrote: | | lech lecha08 wrote: | | I have a question because of a picture that I saw. Yeshiva world news had a collection of Sukkos pictures and in one a rebbe (possibly the Bobov Rebbe) was lighting a menorah in his sukka. Is that a minhag or is there an inyan to that? |
Hah? A Rebbe lighting a Chanukah menorah in the succah? Do you have a link to that picture. Must be that that year Chanukah probably fell on Chol Hamo'ed Succos. |
It was Belz not Bobov, sorry. Glad to know I'm not the only one who was confused though
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com.....50897
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Besiyata Dishmaya
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Mon, Nov 02 2009, 10:02 am
| lech lecha08 wrote: | | Besiyata Dishmaya wrote: | | lech lecha08 wrote: | | I have a question because of a picture that I saw. Yeshiva world news had a collection of Sukkos pictures and in one a rebbe (possibly the Bobov Rebbe) was lighting a menorah in his sukka. Is that a minhag or is there an inyan to that? |
Hah? A Rebbe lighting a Chanukah menorah in the succah? Do you have a link to that picture. Must be that that year Chanukah probably fell on Chol Hamo'ed Succos. |
It was Belz not Bobov, sorry. Glad to know I'm not the only one who was confused though
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com.....50897 |
These are nice pictures of the Belzer Rebbe shlit"a.
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freidasima
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Tue, Nov 17 2009, 8:48 am
Wow I've just read through this whole thread and it's like being in the chassidic forum (without the bashing I presume).
But I have one question. If you had to define the essences of Chassidic daily life for women and the essences of chassidic thought in one paragraph how do you see it differ from let's say Litvish or Sefaradi charedi life (I'm not talking MO/DL) these days?
The more I look the more the concept of a "rebbe" by any other name has taken over all charedi groups. R. Ovadia, his beliefs, his writings and his hora'os are treated by Shasnikim no differently than a rebbe's dicta to his chassidim! When Rav Schach was alive it was the same in Litvish circles! So one group wears sheitls and another tichels and a third shpitzl but all because this is what their "Rebbe" "Rov" "Chacham" has told them to do, so the concept is the same. And it seems to me that the idea of a chassidic "court" has kind of taken over the "bureaucracy" of the other non chassidic charedi groups as well!
And a lot of kabbalism, which I learned in Sem is at the basis of so much chassidus, is also making inroads into Litvish life these days, kabbalistic minhogim, and let's not even talk about Kabbalism and sefaradi chassidim! I don't know but according to this it looks like the chassidic framework, if not the contents, has won in all charedi groups.
Am I wrong? Missing something?
And before we turn around who knows, maybe it will enter DL life as well....I have a feeling when I look at the "pulchan" (don't know the english expression) around some of the DL rabbonim these days it's gonna happen there too...
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Imhappy!
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Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:01 am
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I think we are all basicly the same. we try to do our best in torah and mitvos, to instill love for torah in our kids, to earn parnusah ( yes chasidisha ladies work too....!!) and to control our bad middos.
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Sherri
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Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:02 am
FS, I think you are right that a lot of aspects of Chassidishe life have penetrated into other parts of Klal Yisroel. The Litvishe aren't so litvish, the chassidim aren't so chassidish... There is a lot of contact and learning from each other. (And I will tell you a secret- some chassidim ask themselves the same question!)
But there is a mesorah, a lifestyle based on the teachings of the Besht (that admittedly not all "cultural chassidim" live) that chassidim have.
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mltjm
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Tue, Nov 17 2009, 2:24 pm
There's a famous story about the Baal Shem Tov, that he went up to shamayim and and asked amasai kosi mar? When will moshiach come? (sorry about the transliterated spelling!) and the answer he got was 'lichsheyafutzu mayanosecha chutza'- when your wellsprings spread outwards, when your chassidus spreads to the whole world. So, yes, chassidus is supposed to penetrate into the 'other' parts of judaism, and it's a sign that moshiach is coming 
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Fox
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Tue, Nov 17 2009, 8:54 pm
These comments remind me of the mushal of the wealthy father of two grown sons. One son ate only fleishigs, so his father constructed an elaborate fleishig kitchen for him; the other ate only milchigs, so likewise, his father constructed a state-of-the-art milchig kitchen. However, the wheel of mazel turned, and the entire family became impoverished. In fact, they lived almost exclusively on potatoes. But the "fleishig" son prepared his potatoes in his fleishig kitchen while his brother prepared his potatoes in his milchig kitchen. In our times, Misnagdim and Chassidim are like the two sons. Both are distanced from the "wealth" of their origins and the grandeur of previous generations, but they retain the outer trappings of their former practices.
Now, I have to share a funny story with everyone. Remember when there was a great deal of discussion about a study of Hasidic women's speech patterns by Ayala Fader? We discussed it here on imamother, and it was widely discussed, though less intelligently, on a few other websites. Normally, I don't comment on other websites, but I left an anonymous comment because the other posters on one website in particular were just being too stupid. Sorry, maybe I should have said, "intellectually challenged."
Anyway, I posted an anonymous message saying, in short, this is interesting, but don't get yourself in a tizzy over it -- it's a dissertation, the equivalent of a great big school project for someone who's been in school forever. It's interesting, but it's not emes.
That was about two years ago, and I recently read the book Dr. Fader adapted out of her dissertation, called Mitzvah Girls. Unless you seriously enjoy hardcore sociological/anthropological research with footnotes, etc., you can safely leave this one alone. There were a few interesting anecdotes, but nothing very revealing about Chassidic life or frum life in general. The main point was to demonstrate how Bobover women living in BP choose to communicate using English or Yiddish. Interesting, but like most dissertations, not earth-shattering in its importance.
But there I was, reading along, when Dr. Fader reports on the Internet activity that news of her study generated. She quoted a few of the stupider posts, and then I read, in its entirety, my post! Followed by a whole explanation of how this post exemplified the attitude of Bobover women toward secular knowledge.
So my entire family is still laughing over the fact that I -- not Bobover or a Chassida of any sort -- have had my anonymous post immortalized as part of the academic body of knowledge about the lives of Chassidic Jews!
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Strudel
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Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:06 pm
Oy Fox, you're famous!
I'm not sure why people have this imterest in chassidic life, but there must be some attraction. W actually stopped attending one of the chassidic shul in our town partly because this Litvaks took over. Dh's friend (a chossid) was yelled at by a wide hat wearing clean shaven litvak man after he told the boys in shul some chassidic stories (Reb Nachman).
Not sure why non chassidic people want to daven in a chassidish place.
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WriterMom
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Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:26 pm
Wow, fox, thanks for sharing that.
I am hugely interested in the lives of religious Jewish women, since I was not raised around them, and consider myself still in the process of learning to be one. Perhaps, naturally, I'm the most interested in learning about the communities I see least in my OOT life - and chassidim are the big ones in that regard. My perception, right or wrong, is that charedim are like the MO families I know, but more so, while chassidus seems qualitatively different.
But this is making me think that if I find something interesting to read, I shouldn't take it to the bank no matter how many letters come after the author's name!
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