Is a degree a waste of $ for kid w/o specific career plans

amother

OP ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:13 pm

Dd is graduating high school in about a month. She feels peer pressure to get a degree, but she has no idea what she wants to do career-wise and isn’t a motivated go getter type. Dh and I both have graduate degrees and work in professional fields. We moved more to the right hashkafically than how we were raised, so our kids were raised yeshivish but we weren’t. For us it wasn’t a question to go to college - everyone did. But for my dd, who wants to start dating in a year, we’re not so sure. She feels like she needs to get a degree but also hopes to move to Lakewood when she’s married and have a bunch of kids. I know a lot of my friends feel they wasted money paying for college when their dds didn’t finish their degrees bc they bH got married. The dds are all working office jobs now and doing fine. I don’t want to throw money away. I also don’t want dd to take out loans and be paying them off forever. For a kid who has no real world job experience and no dream job she’s shooting for, does it make sense to start college? WWYD?

amother

Burlywood ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:17 pm

Does she want an office job? If yes, a degree is a waste.
If not, have her sit with a career counselor to figure out what she is interested in.
Honestly I work an office job but wish I had more earning potential

DrMom ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:19 pm

I don't think that not knowing precisely what you want to do career-wise means that going to college is a waste.

Does she have a general direction? Sciences? Business? Is she people-oriented?

Would she be satisfied with an office job that does not require a degree?

Is she planning on marrying someone who will earn an income sufficient to support their family?

amother

Amber ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:19 pm

She can get a Sarah Schenirer degree... I don't know where you are living but they have programs throughout the tristate area. If she would move to Lakewood she would be able to continue.

There's also an online option.

I went through Touro because I was taking sciences but if she just wants a general degree that would be fine.

amother

Cerise ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:23 pm

My answer would be yes. It would be a waste.

I know so many girls who start a degree and never finish it because they get married and start having kids.

The girls I know who did finish their degree were very motivated, academic and knew exactly what they wanted a degree in from the start.

College is not for "fun" or just to "keep busy" in my opinion. It is a big (expensive, time and energy consuming) step that can help you reach your goals. But you have to know what those goals are to begin with.

amother

Lavender

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:24 pm

I don't think it's a waste because generally people with college degrees have more options. It's a safety net for your daughter. If G-d forbid the stay at home mom track doesn't work out for any reason, she won't be starting from zero. That being said, it makes sense for her to get a practical degree in something that could lead to a job (ex: nursing/accounting rather than greek mythology). The other caveat is that I wouldn't spend $$$$ on a brand name school--look into city college, community college, state schools, whatever is actually affordabe--it rarely makes sense to take on student loan debt, especially when it might not be made up for in earnings.

amother

Indigo

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:24 pm

The frum degree programs are fast and cheaper.
I think those are good if you don’t know what you want. At least have a BA and you can apply to a masters later or apply to something else.

(I have so many SILs and married nieces that regret they didn’t do it then).

amother

Navy ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:26 pm

Could she spend this year working? That might give her a sense of how much she would like working in an office or whatever else she is qualified for without a degree.

At the same time, she could take 1-2 courses per period at a local community college at night or online. Basic requirements that will hopefully count towards any degree, like freshman writing. That way she wouldn't get totally out of practice with school either.

amother

Bronze ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:29 pm

Most girls I know finished college if needed after they married. Those who pushed it off ended up regretting it. It's a lot harder to go back to college after a ten year+ break with a house full of kids and expenses. A lot easier as a newlywed.
On the flip side, I knew girls who thought they'd get married right away and why bother with starting a rigorous college program, they got a teaching assistant or office job, straight out of school/sem, thinking they were just marking time till marriage. However, they didn't end up getting engaged so quickly and after a few years of unsatisfying or boring jobs, they realized they needed more and started college in their mid 20s.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:30 pm

We tried a career counselor but nothing interested dd. At this point in her life she’s just enjoying her social life and chessed activities. School is a party. Her grades are fine but she’s not the studious type. She also isn’t super aware of her strengths and weaknesses and has an unrealistic view of her ability to multitask. We don’t want to do the Jewish programs because they’re overpriced. We looked into community college but again are just hesitating at the tuition (which is reasonable but still adds up) if she won’t have anything to show for it in the end.

amother

Pink

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:31 pm

She should speak to a career counselor. I think college without a goal is a waste of time.

I have a degree I am not really using but nobody went into debt for it. 95% of it was covered by scholarships and financial aid. Plus, I graduated so yes, it is a safety net.

Eta: if your already tried a counselor, maybe she should get a job and see from there.

amother

Ecru

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Does she have a job right now?

amother

↑ Cerise ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If she is just enjoying herself, her social life and chesed activities, I do not think college is for her. She sounds like she needs to figure out what she wants from life in general. College is not the way or place to do that in my opinion.

She should probably look for a job and figure out what she enjoys. If she needs a college degree for it, then great, go for it. But if she isn't particularly motivated towards achieving a degree, it is not likely she will finish it.

If the only motivator is peer pressure, slowly but surely all those peers doing college will get married and move on (iyh ur dd too!)... and that motivator will no longer be a motivation for her.

amother

Papaya ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:38 pm

hodeez wrote:

Yes total waste. Maybe once she's married and a bit more settled she will have an idea of what she wants to do

It's a lot harder to do a degree when you are married (and possibly pregnant or with a baby) than when you are single and carefree.

amother

↑ Bronze

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:40 pm

If she doesn't get married right away, what are her plans? Are there jobs where you live that she can get with no degree? And are these jobs she could see herself satisfied with long term?
As I said, I knew a number of girls who assumed they'd be married and living in Lakewood within a couple years of graduating from school, but that's not what happened.

amother

Wine

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:42 pm

If she's going to seminary in Israel this year, a degree can actually make things cheaper for you if you're eligible for financial aid. She can get credits for seminary through TTI while she's in seminary, and the financial aid can help pay for seminary.

amother

↑ Navy ↓

Tue, May 04 2021, 12:45 pm

If a big concern is wasting money, but she's generally able to do the coursework, she could look for a job at a local university. Many universities provide either deep tuition discounts or downright free tuition to employees and staff, although you have to read the fine print carefully because there can be limitations on eligibility and caps on amounts.

I have a friend currently working full time at a university who is about to graduate from a master's program for which she only paid a nominal amount per semester, like $50, plus cost of books.