When to make kiddush for daughter

amother

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 2:28 pm

I dunno what other forum to put this in:)

My baby girly is 14 weeks bh. When do people make kiddushs for their daughters? What do they do at a kiddush? Is it too late to make one?

Im a BT and the only girl in my family plus the only married sibling so far so I dont have experience.
I dont know protocol. We are yeshivish

I dont have family near me its just my in laws. Would it be weird to have something small?

amother

Blush

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 2:30 pm

Was she named in shul?
Usually we do the kiddish then, the Shabbos after the birth. Some people do it any day the Torah is read after the baby is born so Monday or Thursday or Shabbos whichever. Some people wait until 3 days after the birth.
No, you can make one now if you didn't. Ask a rav!
Mazal tov.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 2:32 pm

Some people like to do it the first shabbos, most wait a few weeks till they feel more up to it. It's never too late, you can totally make one now! As big or small as you want. You can sponsor a kiddush in shul or just set something up at home. Totally up to you! Mazal tov!!

Elfrida ↓

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 2:36 pm

You can make a Kiddush whenever you want. A lot of people wait a whole until the mother has time to recover from the birth and enjoy it.

What do you do? Your husband makes kiddush, and everyone eats, chats, admires the baby and wishes you Mazal Tov. If you want you can take the opportunity to speak about the baby and why you chose her name. Some women take the opportunity of having a minyan around to say Birkat HaGomel. It's all a fairly recent custom, and apart from making kiddush and having mezonot you can do what you like.

Protocol varies from one place to another, but isn't particularly strict in this area.

Make it as big or small as you want, and ask whoever you want.

saralem

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 2:39 pm

You can literally do it at any time. I know someone who for whatever reason, had never made a kiddish for dd. When the dd reached shidduch age, they finally made a kiddish in her honor. I’ve heard this is a segula for marriage.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 2:53 pm

Any time you like. We once went to a kiddush for a girl who was 5 years old. the parents wanted her to be able to enjoy her own kiddush.

FTR my parents didn't make a kiddush for any of us girls nor did we make any for our dds. I never even heard of such a custom till I joined this site. Somehow we all managed B"H to get married and if I may say so, our dhs sound a whole lot better than a lot of dhs whose misdeeds are chronicled here. Not saying you shouldn't make a kiddush if the spirit moves you but you really don't need to worry about timing.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 3:06 pm

We make a kiddush for a girl when it's convenient as opposed to a bris that has to be on the 8th day. It's a lot less stressful to plan in advance when the grandparents can come, for example, rather than everyone trying to make plans at the last minute for a bris. I prefer to wait at least 2 months so that I feel recovered enough to enjoy it and the baby is past the danger zone of needing hospitalization if she gets exposed to something and runs a fever.

With our oldest daughter we had the added incentive of waiting for nice weather so we could make the kiddush in the shul's backyard. We were davening in the basement of the rabbi's house and it was very cramped quarters to make a kiddush inside. By the time our second daughter was born the shul had moved into its own building so we didn't have to take that into consideration.

essie14 ↓

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 7:08 pm

We made a simchat bat when DD was 4 months old, for various reasons.
There are no rules. We kept it pretty small.
I've been to very elaborate ones.
You can literally do whatever you want.

GLUE

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 9:07 pm

lemondrop wrote:

Im in the same boat... does it have to be on shabbos or it can be any day of the week too? TMI

I had a neighbor who's parents could not stay over for Shobbos so they did on a Monday, when they named the baby.

I heard that if you can't make it on Shobbos it could be a Monday or Thursday-Don't take my word ask first.

↑ Elfrida

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 11:26 pm

lemondrop wrote:

Im in the same boat... does it have to be on shabbos or it can be any day of the week too? TMI

You can't make a kiddush if it's not either Shabbos or Chag, because we don't make kiddush on other days.

During the week you can have a l'chaim, or a Simchat Bat or Zeved haBat, or whatever other name you want to give the celebration.

It is a fairly recent custom. There are no halachos involved. Do what you want!

Raisin

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 2:06 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

hmmm maybe the message that little boys get when they see a baby boy gets a shalom zachor vach nacht, bris and a baby girl gets nothing makes them think women are worth less and leads some of them to mistreat their wives?

There is an inyan to make a kiddush for a girl. It can be when she is 1 week or 6 months. I think anytime in the first year is perfect! And I am pretty sure you can do a celebration on any day, not just shabbos.

We didn't make a kiddush for one of our girls but we made one for her bas mitzva (as well as a party).

Mazel tov! Enjoy your princess.