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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Other special days
amother
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 5:02 pm
DVOM wrote: | This bar mitzvah has filled me with so much joy too. But now it's also filling me with panic.
Help!!! |
I didnt read other suggestions.. so forgive me if this was answered already..
Why don't you hire someone to help you?
Caterer, party planner.. thats what they are here for.
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amother
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 7:42 pm
Just an idea not sure if it was mentioned but maybe do a photobooth?
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amother
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 7:46 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote: | I didnt read other suggestions.. so forgive me if this was answered already..
Why don't you hire someone to help you?
Caterer, party planner.. thats what they are here for. |
If you have the help and the mind for it then you don’t need.
(I recently self catered full Shabbos bar mitzvah for 60 ppl, large Shabbos kiddush and small weekday dessert table. On a very tight budget. It was gorgeous. If you enjoy doing it you can make it happen)
Party planners are expensive. They want a certain look and swipe your credit card non-stop.
It sounds like OP is being smart and keeping the option open to cater some dishes which is really smart.
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amother
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 7:54 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote: | If you have the help and the mind for it then you don’t need.
(I recently self catered full Shabbos bar mitzvah for 60 ppl, large Shabbos kiddush and small weekday dessert table. On a very tight budget. It was gorgeous. If you enjoy doing it you can make it happen)
Party planners are expensive. They want a certain look and swipe your credit card non-stop.
It sounds like OP is being smart and keeping the option open to cater some dishes which is really smart. |
Depends who the party planner is. It's not fair to give a blanket statement, incriminating all party planners.
Some will really work with your budget.
And, she seemed so overwhelmed, thats why I asked the question.
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amother
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 8:02 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote: | Depends who the party planner is. It's not fair to give a blanket statement, incriminating all party planners.
Some will really work with your budget.
And, she seemed so overwhelmed, thats why I asked the question. |
I’d love to hear names of party planners willing to work with the cheapest folding chairs, tablecloth gmachs, no flowers, only home made cakes and things sent by friends, basic paper goods, no monogramming. I couldn’t find one who would just show up without spending.
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amother
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 8:06 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote: | I’d love to hear names of party planners willing to work with the cheapest folding chairs, tablecloth gmachs, no flowers, only home made cakes and things sent by friends, basic paper goods, no monogramming. I couldn’t find one who would just show up without spending. |
Which neighborhood are you in?
Homemade food simply presents a hashgacha problem. Most of them don't allow it.
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amother
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 8:36 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote: | Which neighborhood are you in?
Homemade food simply presents a hashgacha problem. Most of them don't allow it. |
In your house? Small shul basement? Why not?
I didn’t have one bought item at my kiddush or dessert table. A budget can be way less that way. And still be gorgeous. It sounds like OP is trying to also stay within a budget. If a party planner won’t work with home made what is the point of getting if you plan on self catering.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 1:34 am
Fab4 wrote: | Her guests sound like mostly family and friends, I'm sure they won't be demanding more food! If they see there is a need for something they'll get up and help. I really think it will work iyh. Her guests aren't paying for their food, it's not a business meeting! It'll be a lot of work but fun and op will feel so accomplished iyh. Even if something little goes wrong, it's all friends and family who I'm sure can overlook some mishaps. |
Hm, in a way guests are paying they are contributing with what they send over (food costs money as we all know) and the time of preparing. Time is money. I could see it as a gift too.
Get up and help? In my experience people who are close friends and family many times get into long shmoozing and conversations not noticing what's going on around them. It's natural. You can't be present in shmoozing and oversee what's happening at the yard and kitchen. That's why IMHO Op needs a head waiter who will oversee and run the evening. Trusting "somebody else" is asking for mishaps. I could totally get out of my chair and helping out but I'm OUT of the guest mode and deep into the event mode.
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4g01o
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 2:23 am
Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | Hm, in a way guests are paying they are contributing with what they send over (food costs money as we all know) and the time of preparing. Time is money. I could see it as a gift too.
Get up and help? In my experience people who are close friends and family many times get into long shmoozing and conversations not noticing what's going on around them. It's natural. You can't be present in shmoozing and oversee what's happening at the yard and kitchen. That's why IMHO Op needs a head waiter who will oversee and run the evening. Trusting "somebody else" is asking for mishaps. I could totally get out of my chair and helping out but I'm OUT of the guest mode and deep into the event mode. |
I get that but if someone wants something, they know there's more of it, they can always go get another tray on their own. Family like to help especially during a buffet style simcha.. If it was in a hall I'd understand that once you're sitting down, you likely won't get up.
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Raisin
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 2:31 am
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote: | My family and I ate at Andrea’s Niagara restaurant a couple of times so I know exactly what she’s talking about. For whatever reason, there were a lot of loud, pushy, inconsiderate people coming through Niagara both times we were there. My family is from OOT so we just kind of sat back and enjoyed the show, but in a semi-shocked way. 😳
DVOM, I fully believe your family will be mentchlich and lovely. Having said that, though, I just want to say that my mom made two backyard simchas and said NEVER AGAIN. Way too much work. She felt like she didn't get to enjoy her own simchas. (And they were beautiful simchas.) When I made my first bar mitzvah I realized that if I had been running around doing everything I wouldn’t have gotten to daven the way I wanted to. It’s a very emotional day. I was able to sit with my Tehillim and pour my heart out to the Ribono shel Olam and just focus on what really mattered. I was grateful that I had the time and the headspace to be able to thank Hashem for everything and to beg him for all the things that we want for my precious son. I was able to cry and daven with a full heart, completely focused on the tefillos. Just something to consider. Mazel tov and lots of nachas! |
I have made a few simchas, most of which I catered myself. One of them, I listened to people like you and we hired a caterer. For some reason, that ended up being the most stressful simcha of all of them. Plus for a long time after we were feeling the financial repercussions which was also really stressful.
Dvom, I am sure you have thought of this, but make sure to hire a photographer to take pictures of the setup, food, etc. And leave time for family pictures.
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dankbar
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 2:37 am
Ask a neighbor or two if their facilities could be used in case of emergency
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Bnei Berak 10
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 2:39 am
Fab4 wrote: | I get that but if someone wants something, they know there's more of it, they can always go get another tray on their own. Family like to help especially during a buffet style simcha.. If it was in a hall I'd understand that once you're sitting down, you likely won't get up. |
Provided it's in kitchen. Op is mentioning having warmers also in neighbor's garage. Access code needed. See page 5.
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Raisin
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 2:39 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote: | Just an idea not sure if it was mentioned but maybe do a photobooth? |
A photobooth is really fun. If you want to do it cheaply you can get photo props from amazon and people can use their own phones to take pics.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 2:43 am
Raisin wrote: | I have made a few simchas, most of which I catered myself. One of them, I listened to people like you and we hired a caterer. For some reason, that ended up being the most stressful simcha of all of them. Plus for a long time after we were feeling the financial repercussions which was also really stressful.
Dvom, I am sure you have thought of this, but make sure to hire a photographer to take pictures of the setup, food, etc. And leave time for family pictures. |
How many guests in self catering? Hall or home?
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DVOM
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 4:44 am
Good morning everyone!
I'm fascinated by the level of interest this post has generated. I guess making simchos is something most of us are passionate about and have strong feelings about. I know I do!
The choice not to hire a party planner and not to cater is, for me, based on both creative and financial considerations. I love the process of planning and setting up a party, sourcing the decor and setting it up. I'd never want to outsource that. Plus, I know that a party planner would not be making the frugal choices that I'm making, and cost is a huge factor for us. Table cloths will be from a gemach. As will many of the serving wear, vases and such. We're using cheaper disposables. We're making the bunting ourselves, setting up the tents ourselves, putting up the lighting ourselves. This is hard work, but also something my husband and I and our kids really enjoy. The kids are all involved, all have jobs, and at this point (this is not our first rodeo, though it certainly is, to date, our largest!) are really good helpers. There's lots of family pride and lots of fun in doing these things together.
Catering is so expensive. A 9x13 pan of pasta is about 50$. That same pan of pasta, made at home, costs 5-15 dollars, depending on the ingredients used. Little mousse trifles (we made cookies and cream, chocolate, and butterscotch-peanut butter), made at home, cost us about 1-2 dollars a cup (including the cute little mini ball jar to put it in). Buying those little trifles from a bakery or caterer cost about 40$ a dozen, about double the cost. Cookies, cakes, cake pops... all are a fraction of the price if we make them at home, and we enjoy making them. My boys come home from school and ask: "what are we baking for the bar mitzvah today???" I'm sure professional baked goods would be prettier and more perfect than the ones we're making, but I'd bet ours taste better!
We are well within budget for this bar mitzvah, and for me, there is powerful peace of mind in that. To me, it's worth the work.
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applesbananas
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 4:52 am
I’ve been following this thread in utter fascination. I think with your level of passion and your positive attitude, you’ll be just fine.
Are u pregnant? I feel like I remember reading that and I’m wondering how you’re standing let alone catering a huge party?!
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DVOM
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 4:54 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote: | Just an idea not sure if it was mentioned but maybe do a photobooth? |
We are!
My husband made me wooden frames, and I'm painting them (I'm not sure how to describe how this will look when it's done. One will be a Jerusalem scene with the words: "I had an awesome time at Dvom's son's bar mitzvah, but still wish I was here!," another will be a jeep with lots of holes for windows for kids to poke their heads through with the something like: "These guys are going places! Great times ahead!" on it, and one more fancy, formal one made out of old windows that I'm going to decorate with flowers. I'm not describing it well, but it's gonna be cool!) we're borrowing lots of hats and funny props from people's Purim costume stashes, and setting up a little table of body glitter for the more adventurous guests.
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DVOM
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 5:10 am
applesbananas wrote: | I’ve been following this thread in utter fascination. I think with your level of passion and your positive attitude, you’ll be just fine.
Are u pregnant? I feel like I remember reading that and I’m wondering how you’re standing let alone catering a huge party?! |
I am, bh! I'm feeling wonderful, but I am being careful not to overdo it. My kids are a big help, and so long as I work sitting down I do ok.
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simba
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 5:16 am
DVOM wrote: | Good morning everyone!
I'm fascinated by the level of interest this post has generated. I guess making simchos is something most of us are passionate about and have strong feelings about. I know I do!
The choice not to hire a party planner and not to cater is, for me, based on both creative and financial considerations. I love the process of planning and setting up a party, sourcing the decor and setting it up. I'd never want to outsource that. Plus, I know that a party planner would not be making the frugal choices that I'm making, and cost is a huge factor for us. Table cloths will be from a gemach. As will many of the serving wear, vases and such. We're using cheaper disposables. We're making the bunting ourselves, setting up the tents ourselves, putting up the lighting ourselves. This is hard work, but also something my husband and I and our kids really enjoy. The kids are all involved, all have jobs, and at this point (this is not our first rodeo, though it certainly is, to date, our largest!) are really good helpers. There's lots of family pride and lots of fun in doing these things together.
Catering is so expensive. A 9x13 pan of pasta is about 50$. That same pan of pasta, made at home, costs 5-15 dollars, depending on the ingredients used. Little mousse trifles (we made cookies and cream, chocolate, and butterscotch-peanut butter), made at home, cost us about 1-2 dollars a cup (including the cute little mini ball jar to put it in). Buying those little trifles from a bakery or caterer cost about 40$ a dozen, about double the cost. Cookies, cakes, cake pops... all are a fraction of the price if we make them at home, and we enjoy making them. My boys come home from school and ask: "what are we baking for the bar mitzvah today???" I'm sure professional baked goods would be prettier and more perfect than the ones we're making, but I'd bet ours taste better!
We are well within budget for this bar mitzvah, and for me, there is powerful peace of mind in that. To me, it's worth the work. |
As usual, I am inspired by you.
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applesbananas
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 5:22 am
DVOM wrote: | I am, bh! I'm feeling wonderful, but I am being careful not to overdo it. My kids are a big help, and so long as I work sitting down I do ok. |
B’shaah Tova! Hashem should bench u with a lot of strength!
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