Do your kids go to school on Sunday?

timeout ↓

Sun, Feb 17 2008, 12:05 pm

So my DS has school on Sunday till 2:00 he's in First Grade. My daughter who is 3.5 of course is home with me which makes my son terribly jealous of her.

Anybody else have this ?????

BTW we send to a yeshivishe school.

raizy ↓

Mon, Feb 18 2008, 10:56 pm

well first of all my dh and I both work on sunday. so why should my kids be home when I cant take them out to "entertain" them . 2. I have 4 boys b"h and they all have school on sunday. my dd doesnt and she drives me and herselve crazy. bc I feel bad for her that I cant take her out in the winter. so she gets to go out with my friend and her 2 girls.

second of all. did it ever occur to u rich pple that when u entertain your children it cost a bundle of money. like museum cost $ and even going snow tubing cost 5 $ a person when u start to times that bye 8 or 9 its alot of money for entertainment for one sunday. parks in the winter is out of the question except the sledding ones. so where exactly should I go. the only place left is a pool and an indoor free place to run. kind of thingy.
and a pool is only for me and my dd I cant take any boys with.

bc the lubs complaint that if they see a kid who is under 3 yrs old then they cant swim with them . a boy who is under 3 will not look at any women etc. but whom am I to say maybe a 4 month old boy baby might look at them gasp. this really bugs me since I have lots of boys and the winter is long so its either the boys go with and I dress them like a girl or I have no where to go.I have no one to babysit the boys while I go swimming with my girl.
and yes I got kicked out bc I took my 4 months old baby to the swimming pool. I was so stupid I told them it was a boy . well after that all my boys got a kiddish and they were a girl for swimming purposes.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Feb 18 2008, 11:02 pm

I don't understand. Your kids have to be in school on Sunday because you work Sundays and you can't find things for them to do, anyway?

What makes you think that people who find ways to entertain children are rich? We come up with all sorts of free or nearly free things to do with our kids. Some research online is all it takes. And if it's not a formal activity, it could be some form of creative play, either at home or elsewhere. One of my kids and I are writing a short story together in our spare time. Sometimes we do crafts things, or bake.

You're just saying that school should be daycare for your kids. Fine, if it's fine with your kids. Unless they have interests, hobbies or want some free time without Shabbos rules that restrict what they can do.

I totally understand that working people need to figure out what to do with their kids, and maybe having them in school is better than paying for a sitter. But your tone makes it sound like it's such a big hassle for a kid to have free time to play or whatever. That's just sad.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Feb 18 2008, 11:37 pm

Random thoughts. And for what it's worth, I'm an out-of-town Lubavitcher.

1. Kids of all ages do need down-time. Sometimes that down-time might be spent on family activities, or alone (thinking, writing, resting, creating, playing an instrument, baking cookies, reading), or with friends. But kids need time when they are not in school and not doing all the related things that go along with school (getting up & out early, doing homework). Yes, school fills a need for many kids, but it doesn't fill all of their needs and they need TIME OFF. Regularly. So they don't burn out and start to resent it.

2. Shabbos is beautiful and holy but it's not a time when kids can do what they enjoy. And these "hobbies" may seem inconsequential or unnecessary but they can LEAD a child TOWARD Torah in a deeper way. A child who is musical will come to love Torah through music. A child who loves computers will come to use technology to further his own learning and share Torah with others through technology! Who knows! A child who is artistic will express his love of Torah through art. There are many dimensions to a child and many dimensions to Torah. Sitting in a classroom is not where it ends.

3. A child who feels close to his or her family has a HUGE advantage as far as staying frum. Building a close family bond is not extra; it is essential. And it takes time (beyond Shabbos, although it must of course include Shabbos). Relaxed, unpressured TIME.

4. Time spent outside of school is time spent LIVING JEWISHLY in the real world. Preparing for Yomim Tovim, visiting relatives (kibbud av v'em), putting into practice any number of mitzvos that they may be learning about in school but do not actually DO in school.

5. Kids who are in school every possible waking hour and in camp all summer do not learn how to occupy THEMSELVES productively. A structure is always there telling them what to do and when to do it (and how to do it). Part of education is learning how to entertain/occupy oneself in a positive and productive way. This means learning to be creative and independent and it generally happens OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL, if there's any time...

6. Parents who are accustomed to having their children out all day every day (including summer), with only rare days off, probably end up with a very low tolerance for having kids around and complain when there's a day off, because "oy, what are we going to do with the kids a whole day?"

7. My kids do not have school on Sundays. I don't work outside the home on Sundays (my husband does). We sometimes go out to do fun things, but more often we're just home together. The kids have friends over or they go to friends' houses. The kids PLAY TOGETHER and so they are friends with their own siblings (and even the fighting leads to learning how to problem-solve). If they get bored, they LEARN HOW TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO. They're not wasting time. They are using their time in ways that they cannot when they are stuck in the same old classroom!

8. Even so, for boys over bar mitzvah age, I am not opposed to school on Sundays. In my opinion, half days would be preferable so there can still be some down-time.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Feb 18 2008, 11:41 pm

One more random thought:

9. Maybe schools should have an optional Sunday program, with a curriculum that is separate from the weekday one - enrichment learning, chavrusa learning, learning Torah through art/music. Then, first of all, working parents could choose this option if they need more school time for their kids (and other parents might just like the Sunday program because it would be enriching), and second of all, the kids might actually look forward to something different (that is still Torah learning), and third of all, schools would have to become more innovative.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Feb 18 2008, 11:41 pm

Excellent post!

leomom ↓

Mon, Feb 18 2008, 11:46 pm

When I read the fourth poll option, I didn't read the "gasp" as being a serious gasp. I read it as sarcastic, as in "My children don't go to school on Sunday, now can you believe that? Isn't it awful? Aren't you shocked?"

I think several posters who were offended by it just misunderstood the way it was intended. But of course that's just how I read it and I don't know if that's what the OP meant.

↑ raizy ↓

Mon, Feb 18 2008, 11:59 pm

yes I cook and bake . and play with my kids. after school. every single day. my floors tells the story of all the arts we make every day. but why cant it all be "after" school . why does it have to be a whole day on sunday. and yes activities outside the house usally does cost money. even snow tubing cost money. 5 dollars a kid. times it bye 7 35 dollars for 2-3 hrs . since all the kids will get cold and tired after that amount. its just not worth it.

and anyways I dont have a say in the matter . I have 4 boys.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Feb 19 2008, 12:01 am

It's great that you do stuff after school, but with kids getting out so late, having homework and just being tired, we don't do much then. Also, outings are impossible on weeknights. So we really value our Sundays.

I don't know what snow tubing is or why it's such a focus. If it costs a lot, don't go snow tubing.

↑ Ruchel

Tue, Feb 19 2008, 8:59 am

excellent post out of town Lub. (sorry I don't know how to call you)!!!

raizy, some museums are almost free on Sundays, even more for large families.
Parks in winter is not possible, but don't you have a mall nearby with indoors playground? or just a toy shop with toys to try? it's totally free! just tell your kids you don't buy anything but they can try and choose something for their bday!

↑ tzatza

Wed, Feb 20 2008, 1:48 pm

Excellent post, Lub. I agree with every point, and just wanted to second the fact that while doing stuff after school is great, it will never work out for us. DS is home at 5 and he is out by 7:30. He has 2-2.5 hours to eat, do (quite a lot) homework, take a shower, and then some play time. Evenings are hectic also because I come home at 5 as well. DS#2 is 13 months old. Each of them has different interests, etc. But as I stated, my greatest concern with Sundays at his age is that it cuts into him spending time with his granparents and cousins. O, and we used to looooove our Sunday's leisurely breakfast, but this had to stop also.

↑ leomom ↓

Wed, Feb 20 2008, 2:34 pm

Well, in the interest of reducing unnecessary anonymous posts, I'm coming out of the closet as the out-of-town Lubavitcher who wrote the post with the 9 random thoughts. I had initially felt that I was giving more personal info than I'd like, but on reading it over I'm comfortable with being identified. I appreciate the kind responses!

↑ raizy

Wed, Feb 20 2008, 3:11 pm

why I do everything after school . once a week I go to cavendish mall. and play there. once a week I go to loblaws and the kids have a blast. etc. there is always places to go at night. with your kids like shopping for stuff that u need. even if it just the dollar store . the kids have fun etc. and anyways that the time my dh is home to help me go out.

↑ timeout

Thu, Feb 21 2008, 10:24 am

raizy - I honestly don't know how u do it my son comes home after 5:00 every day homework is 45 minutes to an hour every night dinner takes a good half hour showers pyjamas settling down another half hour.

My sons school also has a rule we have to sign that the boys are in bed at 7:45pm so during the week is shot!

Sundays he's in school till 2:00 comes home by 3:00 DH has car till 5:00 so basically we're waiting for the summer Smile

↑ amother

Sun, Feb 24 2008, 10:13 pm

I know quite a few women who are going through this issue because their oldest sons are about to start kindergarten. Every one of them is so upset that there is school on Sunday and none of them are the least bit modern.

Since when did Sundays need such planning? A leisurely brunch, running a couple of errands as a family, visiting with local relatives or friends...do any of these cost money? Why don't more of you understand the value in spending more than a few hrs together as a family?

School and learning Torah may be essential to a child's development but it is hard work. I challenge any of you to work in a structured environment without much of a break and see how much you start to resent it. How often do those kids even get to be in the sunlight?

I seriously pity these boys who's entire life is school and shabbos, with no time to relax at home (g-d forbid!) or run around like a kid (exercise is a waste of time, right?). And the moms and dads who don't want to entertain them? They'd figure out how to entertain themselves if they ever had more than an hr of free time.

Surely schoolwork, minyanim, plus a chavrusah with Tati is enough structure on a Sunday. You really think these little kids need more than that?

↑ leomom

Sun, Feb 24 2008, 10:41 pm

Exactly!!