Budget Backyard Bar Mitzvah BBQ- Brainstorming session!

DVOM ↓

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 6:26 am

Good morning ladies!!! For all you party planning mama's out there, I'd love your wisdom and creativity. Let the brainstorming begin!

My darling oldest son is going to be Bar Mitzvah in the beginning of July. I love planning parties and have been really looking forward to going all out for his big day. Our budget is small, but our creativity is large, and we've made some very memorable celebrations on a shoestring budget.

Here in Lakewood, the typical Bar Mitzvah set up seems to be a Shabbos morning Kiddush for family and neighbors, with Shabbos meals for anyone staying over for the weekend, and a catered evening evet in a hall or restaurant.

My husband feels strongly that the bar mitzvah should be celebrated on the actual birthday; our son's Bo Bayom will be on Shabbos, so that really works out. The (wonderful, miraculous, beautiful!) wrinkle in this plan is that we just found out that I will be having a baby a scant 2 weeks before my son's big day. We would still like to have his Shabbos Kiddush on his birthday, but realistically it is going to be a much more scaled down event than it would have been. We'll hire a lot of help and our family will pitch in, but I know it won't be the Shabbos Bar Mitzvah of my dreams. More oreo cookies and chips than color-coded pinterest-worthy kiddush buffet. Depending on how I'm feeling, this may take place in our home, may take place in my parents bungalow colony. Either way, considering the timing, it's going to be small and simple and mostly executed by my husband and sisters and brothers and mom.

That's ok, because for my son, the party seems to be more important. We've decided to make his evening event pre-baby, about 8 weeks in advance, so that we can really focus on him.

Here are Mr. 12's wishes and dreams that we'd like to make come true:

He want's a casual dress party. No suits for this bar mitzvah boy if he can help it. Not sure how to make this happen as the typical dress for these sorts of things are suits. Maybe specify dress code on the invitations?

We are a camping family. Mr. 12 would like his party to culminate in a camping slumber party for his nearest and dearest palls, about 6 kids.

He thinks a BBQ would be really fun.

He wants to have dancing and to give out blow up stuff and glowing bracelets and necklaces and hats for the dancing (one of his classmates had this, and he loved it.)

Here are mama Dvom's wishes and dreams:

We have a large and lovely property. I see no reason to spend money renting out a hall when a BBQ can be made more easily in my back, side and front yard. Mr. 12 is game to have his BBQ party at home, and to set up tents for his slumber party deep in the woods out back. We could call the BBQ for 7 for his entire class, our family, neighbors, and friends, and his close friends would change and head out to their sleeping quarters when party is finished, around 9:30- 10:00. We would serve a buffet breakfast for the campers and whichever out of town guests would be staying overnight to attend the party. There may not be any of those, considering Covid.

I am considering a tent. It gives a centralized space to set up and decorate, and insures that in the case of bad weather we don't need to cancel.

Do I need to hire a one man band for this thing, or can we simply make a playlist and borrow or buy a good sound system? Budget wise, I'd much rather go with a playlist.

I'd like to elevate the food and decor, as a BBQ is by definition simple and casual. I'll be cooking it all myself, with friends and fam helping out. Any menu suggestions? How should the food be served? A buffet would make it easier to hire fewer servers.

We've got about 4 months to plan this party. Have any of you planned a similar event? All suggestions and ideas welcome!!

thunderstorm ↓

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 8:17 am

Wow! This is such exciting news! Bshaa Tova and May this year be a simchadige one for you and your family.

Things to consider:

Who will man the grill? (It should not be you or DH)
How many grills will you have?
How will you keep food warm while the rest of the food is grilling?
Will you still grill outdoors if it rains? What’s your other plan Incase that happens?

You can bring it up a notch by the types of meats you grill , by making lots of fancy salads, have an array of sauces, dips, toppings etc.

If it will take place in a tent , set it up like you would a simcha in your home. Nice tablecloths, fancy disposable dishes and cutlery, floral centerpieces (or centerpieces of your choice)
Set up an elegant sweet table for dessert time.

Make sure to have portable air conditioning in the tent to keep guests cool

Mazal Tov and loads of nachas!

ez-pass

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 8:56 am

I love bbq parties!! I made my son a stunning bbq upsherin in my backyard.
I put up a small tent for the food. (I had another one in case of rain but didnt use it. I bought them on Amazon) for a bar mitzvah though I would rent. A big one rather.
I put out round tables with blue tablecloths for ppl to sit at.
I grilled: hot dogs, burgers, chicken cutlets, wings (my family loves those), drumsticks
Sides: regular and spicy fries, grilled veggies, corn, don't remember what else
I made four salads: I think purple cabbage, tabouli, pasta, and lettuce
I out out smaller bowls of veggies you can either pjt on burger/hot dogs or in your own salad. (Tomato, pepper, cucumbers, sauteed onions, purple onion, coleslaw, pickles, olives)
Had buns for hot fogs and burgers
I also had small rugelach and cookies etc for pastries. And some chips pretzels etc

For music you can do a playlist or the naki radio works great and is loud our a one man band.
You can pm me and I can send u pics if you want.

avrahamama

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 9:43 am

Bahama tova times two! One fore the Bar Mitzvah boy and another for you!

First the food- I don't know how many guests you will have. But I'd suggest a long mangal style grill. It's a charcoal grill and it's meant to cook a lot at a time. If you get a fire starter and use a hair dryer to fan the flames you will have a very good fire to cook with. I would do meat that doesn't take too long to cook or figure out if done. So pargiot, ground meat kebabs, thinner steaks, hot dogs, and some fun types of sausages (merguez, italian sausage, etc) and for sure grilled veggies like eggplant, zucchini, tomato, onions, peppers, jalapenos
Bread- hot dog buns and pita! (No hamburgers is good because those buns dry out and crumble) pita sandwiches are easier and cleaner to eat and that bread hold up better.
For salads and sides - orzo salad (little fancier than pasta) tabouli, chummus, techina, charif, cole slaw, cucumber salad, potato salad
Dessert: fruit, s'mores, cake, grilled fruit!
Decor: I'd ask the bar mitzvah boy what he'd like. But maybe go colorful and not too fussy. I wouldn't do balloons outdoors as they might just fly away. Maybe do a homemade photo booth where the images can be emailed or texted instead of printed.
Probably instead of spending money on decorations, I'd spend on entertainment...

Entertainment: rent or put out things like ping pong, air hockey, if it's in the backyard make a ropes course, ninja course or even a zip line! The blow up and light up stuff is easy to buy online cheap. Probably if you order now you can buy from Ali.

Music: a good dj even a young new cheap one can really provide structure for the kids. Sometimes I find that the boys can get really out of hand and hurt each other if there's no one kind of telling them how to have fun. If you have good things to do the music .ight not be as crucial. So maybe let an older friend or family member create a playlist. Let the playlist kind of martch the structure of your night. So start of boppy as people come in, a little more chilled as people are eating, then dancing music for after speech, etc. I find that when people make playlists they don't take into account the different moods of the event and the music doesn't always match the energy of the moment.

Mazal tov! Enjoy! May he be a source of nachat to you, HKBH, Am Yisrael, and himself!

↑ DVOM ↓

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 2:29 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

This is a very good question. I definitely don't want my husband or myself busy with it. I don't think I need a caterer though. I love to cook, and I'd like to make the food myself. Maybe I can hire a teen from the neighborhood? Any suggestions?

We have a large gas grill and can borrow two more from neighbors. I think (hope???) three would be enough. It's hard to say; I'm having a tough time thinking how many guests we'll be having.

To keep food warm, I'm thinking chaffing dishes on the buffet table that can be replenished from the grills as foods are ready. Does this make sense?

For dessert I was thinking a smores bar, plus a fancy shmansy sweet table. Yummy!

↑ DVOM ↓

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 2:38 pm

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

Price out tent rentals they can be expensive
Will you also have to rent tables and chairs?
Will you need help grilling, setup,and cleanup?
Will any neighbors mind the music?

Can you find a way to make his bar mitzvah about being bar mitzvah? 2 months early he may not be wearing tefillin yet so it might just feel like a big party rather then celebrating becoming bar mitzvah.
Like can he make a siyum or something else to make this a seudas mitzvah rather then just a party?

Our neighborhood has a chairs and tables borrowing system, so I don't need that.

I did price the tent. It's costly, but I think an unavoidable expense. Unless I set up tables and chairs in the house? Hmmmmm. That's a thought. Buffet set up outside, seating inside...

The neighbors won't mind the music, plus, they'll be at the party!

I will definitely need help for grilling and clean up. I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to set up, so no help needed there. I really enjoy doing it.

Regarding making the party more 'bar mitzvahish:" any suggestions? He is studying to lein his parsha, which is enough extra study and responsibility for him. I'd hate to put on him the added stress of working towards a siyum. I want the party to take place early enough in the pregnancy that I can really focus on it; I have a history of complications towards the end of my pregnancies, and I don't want to risk making it any later. He will be saying a dvar torah at the party.

↑ DVOM

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 2:46 pm

avrahamama wrote:

Thank you for the beautiful brachos!

A mangal grill sounds very cool, but just googled it and it seems to be kinda costly. I think I'm going to have to stick to our gas grills

We actually have a zip line, huge trampoline, and a tightrope... It would be so fun to put them up for the party. I'm going to put my husband on this idea.

I love love love the idea of a photo booth!!

Thank you for the salads list. So helpful!

I hear what your saying about a DJ. I think I'm going to need to price it and see if we could swing it. It would definitely be helpful to have someone kinda shepherding the kids, getting the dancing going...

ra_mom

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 3:59 pm

Have as much as you can ready beforehand. Only some items need to be grilled on the spot.

Grilled vegetable kebabs can be grilled early in the day.

Steaks can be reverse seared so that they reach medium in your oven and then are ready to be seared fresh easily and quickly on demand.

For burgers you can sou vide the burgers or reverse sear in oven at 200F too (5 degrees less than desired temp), and then sear fresh on the grill on demand.

Hot dogs sear quickly.

Pasta salad, potato salad, cole slaw, broccoli slaw don't need the grill. Raw sliced vegetables to pile high on sandwiches. Many different condiments. All prepped day before.

See if you can vacuum pack each bun individually so they don't dry out. Or put out just a few and have somebody on duty always put out fresh ones as they use up.

Corn on the cob can be prepared in the oven.

Mazel Tov!!

cnc

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 4:24 pm

DVOM wrote:

I think that a dvar torah is enough and there’s no reason to put more stress on him.