Is It Normal For A Kid To Be So Worried?

Squash ↓

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 10:19 pm

So, here's the sitch: my 6 yo son is always worried. he's a great, fun kid. a real boy who's always up to something else bH. But in my opinion he's too worried about stuff. He has like adult worries, sort of.

For example: last night we traveled to Monsey. We were all enjoying the trip. Every now and then my son would pipe up with a q: did you lock the door of our house Mommy? do we have enough gas Totty? are you sure we're going the right way? don't go so fast Totty - you could crash ch"v! (this from a kid who up until now was always saying 'faster, faster, let's get ahead of that car!)

then on the way back he reminded us to say tefilas haderech before we left (he calmed down when we explained to him that we say it once and say for a safe trip back also).

he didn't seem very anxious when he was saying these things. but is it normal for him to be so aware and worried and sort of 'taking care'?

I wonder if there are any experienced or professional imamothers who can answer this.

tia

ss321

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 10:28 pm

Squash, I dont have kids ur age yet, but when I saw your post, it totally reminded me of this kid I used to babysit down the block (I dont mean sporadically. I mean like throughout high school and also my first couple yrs of college).
he was JUSST LIKE THAT! he would ask what if I get the flu. because somoene in my class had it

what if robbers come
because we have a window that doesnt lock well

what if my savta dies
because I know shes old (she ISNT! b'h! shes in her late 50s maybe early 60s but to a five year old,t hats old I guess)

and then there were just the random other qs id have to answer (while watching the other 4 kids)
why does grass grow
where does hashem come from
what do you mean
what is a bacteria
how do they make the wine we drink on shabbos taste like wine
how does your brain think about brains if it is a brain(?)

the most random stuff

he was just really smart. So its probably a GOOD THING. Im not a psychiatrist or anything, but at this age, hes probably just curious. its probably just a sign of intelligence. he likes to know everything, he wants his questions answered etc etc.
is he the same way in school?

I know I cant give u real answers (obviously!) but im just telling u usually when u see kids like this (not to an obsessive amount, but just TONNNSS of worried questions), its b/c theyre on the bright side, and just "wanna know"

↑ Squash ↓

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 10:32 pm

Thanks for your response. He is actually a very bright child be"h.

He does have lots of questions about everything and anything, which I encourage. I always tell him it's great to ask so many question, cuz then you learn a lot.

I was just wondering if it's normal to be this worried. Why does he feel like he has to be so responsible for everything?

grin

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 11:41 pm

If it's normal or not - I would say no. However, I wonder if that isn't just his way of getting attention. If he's really worried, interfering with his sleeping and such, I would get help. If he's in a good mood and just askding q's, I would leave it alone and enjoy his smartness.
(I would also suggest not discussing touchy matters in front of him - maybe you forget that he's growing up and understands a lot and don't refrain from discussing real worries that he really shouldn't be involved in yet.)

abismommy

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 1:40 am

Sounds like my 9-year-old daughter!! She is often overly concerned about everything - from whether or not she has studied enough for the quiz tomorrow - that she knows the material COLD! - to concern that Hilary Clinton is going to become president and wipe the Jews off the map (she heard it from an uneducated friend!). Sometimes, the worry keeps her from falling asleep and often she wakes up in the midle of the night and then is worried that she can't fall back asleep. Like your son, she is also bright, VERY bright, and I'm not just saying that. I have 7 kids, and she is definitely in a class by herself. I could go on and on about her, but I'm just talking in circles now while I'm waiting for some laundry to finish...
After a long talk with my pediatrician, he recommended calling a certain psychologist for me to speak to and then he can either just make some suggestions about how to help her or maybe see her so that if she could benefit from counseling or some medication to relieve anxiety he would be the one to help her out. This is seriously interfering with her life and definitely with her happiness. She used to be carefree and flighty; now she has become uptight and moody. It doesn't help that our family moved recently and that there's a lot of "newness" in a lot of her daily life, either.
As an aside, I was speaking to a friend who mentioned that she and one of her siblings were very much like my daughter as children. She told me that her mother read (and reread and reread!) a book that helped her trmendously in helping her children (my friend and her sister). You would never know today that this girl was anxious and uptight like she says that she was. She looks like the most easygoing thing on the planet! I have to call her mother and speak to her about it...will give you all the info when I get to speak to her!

yersp

Thu, Jan 24 2008, 10:27 am

I realized one thing and I'm sure everyone can agree with me on this: Kids do as they see, not as they hear.
My 4 year old is very worried when I let her 2 1/2 year old brother walk by himself next to me without holding my hand. She picked it up from me, I know that for sure. He has a habit of running ahead of me and without warning, runs into the gutter. I either hold the hood of his jacket or I use a belt from one of my robes to tie to him and hold that like a leash LOL

. And when we all walk to or from shul with DH, she gets absolutely hysterical: Totty, watch! hold his hand, dont let him go. He can run into the gutter! WAAATCCH!!
Now, I'm trying to teach her that it's ok, we're watching him very well and DS won't run into the gutter.