Walking sibling to the chuppah can't be pregnant?

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 7:41 pm

I know this is cliche but ask.There are diff minhagim. Some people hold it has to be married couple.We asked & were told it was fine for dil to have her divorced parents walk her,don't know if it made a diff that neither had remarried.My dd who was pg was told not towalk, all the other sibs walked down. When bil got remarried, dh & I walked him down, inlaws were told not to, a 2ND time.

theweddingplaner

Thu, Jan 17 2008, 8:16 pm

bh I have been involed in many wedding and rules from crown heights bais din any one of the people who are leading either the chossen or kallah
a) the people have one been married once
b) cant be divorced (they can go under the chupah but have to have another couple)
c)not pregnant

↑ amother ↓

Fri, Jan 18 2008, 1:55 am

Quote:

I heard that it has to be a complete couple, meaning a married couple.

not everyone holds like that. My mother is a widow and she always unterfiers.

↑ amother ↓

Sat, Jan 19 2008, 4:25 pm

my mother was in first trimester by my sister's wedding.
She hadn't yet verified, but she realized it. The rov told her not to verify until after wedding.

Akeres Habayis

Mon, Jan 21 2008, 11:26 am

my mashpia couldn't walk me down bc she was preg I didn tknow at the time,I found out a few months later when she had the baby!

freidasima

Mon, Jan 21 2008, 12:30 pm

There is no din that a married couple have to take you to the chuppah. there are lots of minhagim and everyone should go by their minhag. I have friends whose mother or father was no longer alive and the other parent took them to the chuppah. I have friends who remarried and their children took them to the chuppah. I have friends whose parents remarried late and they gave their own parents huppa kiddushin (they were rabbonim!)

Keep to your minhag if you want, and if you don't like it, and it doesn't bother anyone in the family if you change it, then do what suits you...

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Jan 21 2008, 8:18 pm

my mom was in her seventh month when my sis got married and she walked her down.
I did hear that ppl consider unborn -a third person- and don't walk down.

Mommyoftwo ↓

Mon, Jan 21 2008, 8:38 pm

I heard s/t about the unterfirin being an example for the new couple so they shouldnt be divorced, and I did here not pregnant(it could be that if you only suspect, but are not sure it's ok)but I think you really have to find out what your minhag is.

losingweight

Mon, Jan 21 2008, 8:59 pm

I know that when my aunt was pregnant she only walked till the actual chupah and then my grandmother took over going aound the chosson. - was told that it has s/t to do with the neshamos that come down to the chupah and also it should not be an ayin hora for the pregnant woman.

↑ amother

Mon, Jan 21 2008, 8:59 pm

My priod came late. How do I juggle the wedding and mikveh night on the same day? Or do I push it off for the next night? Has anyone done this before? What happens with the makeup?

↑ Mommyoftwo

Mon, Jan 21 2008, 9:13 pm

you have to ask a rov if you can push it off (I think.) you can make an appointment with the mikvah to do it later for you. it will prob cost extra, but I know it's been done.

abismommy

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 6:28 pm

Almost had this - my sister got married on a Tues night and I almost had to go then because of a stain during shiva nekiyim. Rov told me that he has an arrangement with certain Mikvaos (Brooklyn) and I can call him and he will call them for me. When I told him the wedding would have been out of town, he told me to call the Mikvah lady there, and if she wasn't receptive, he'd call the rov that supervises it. I asked, but there will be a mitzvah tantz and it will be very late. He replied, but don't you want to go? Pushing it off was NOT given as an option. In the end, the stain was OK and I went 2 nights before the wedding, which worked out perfectly because we flew out of town the next morning and the wedding was the following night.

GAMZu

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 8:58 pm

I heard that the women walking the chosson or Kalla down should not be pregnant, but one of the women who walked me down was like 9 months along.

manhattanmom

Fri, Feb 08 2008, 12:37 pm

amother wrote:

my mother told me make sure I am not pregnant...

I would be uncomfortable with my mother making a comment like that to me!

ILMK ↓

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 5:13 am

I was in my 9th month (with twins) at my daughters wedding. My sister in law and brother in law were the official unterfiren, but we still walked them down. We asked if I was allowed to be the one holding my daughter and answer was yes, my sister in law sort of held on to me and walked with us. My bil also walked alongside my husband.

MahPitom

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 3:10 pm

I heard that the tradition is to avoid Ayin Hara “Wow, look she’s marrying off a child and she’s still having kids”

↑ ILMK

Sun, Feb 10 2008, 7:02 pm

I doubt that's the reason! because unterfirrer or not, it was still very obviuos that I was pregnant! There was recently a sicha on Living Torah where the Rebbe spoke about thish issue and also about Kaporas, why the pregnant lady uses 3 chickens (or 5 if pregnant with twins!) and as said before, the unterfirer couple have to be two neshomos, not three or more.