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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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dancingqueen
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 Fri, Aug 14 2020, 10:48 am
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OMG this is heartbreaking, Ruby. Parents need to be aware. Israeli imas, you should start a petition and reach out to your elected officials.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 10:56 am
| dancingqueen wrote: | | OMG this is heartbreaking, Ruby. Parents need to be aware. Israeli imas, you should start a petition and reach out to your elected officials. |
Yes it is. Unfortunately no one seems to care here. The police in my city are currently stopping cars this week and making up that people don’t have seatbelts or the car has an issue and writing up tickets. When asked to watch back the video the police claim it’s not allowed. There’s been so many issues with the city. Local things happen, right now there are Palestinians allowed to live in the building they are working on because of corona. After work they terrorize people in the park and steal. The police don’t even bother coming out. If you call the city for issues it’s not better either.
All I can do it talk about my experiences to help others be more cautious
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FranticFrummie
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 10:56 am
| tichellady wrote: | | That’s crazy. Where I live babysitters start at $20/hr. |
Yep. I make less than the average worker in Burger King, and I am in a position of life or death with these holy and innocent neshamas.
Something is fundamentally wrong here.
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LovesHashem
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 10:57 am
Wage here is pretty low. Fanatic Frummie you could totally make more if you find the right people? Do you davka take on hard kids? I know a family that has the worst kids I ever met but they give you 50 an hour.
When I was single I only babysat for 25 an hour minimum. At night. With sleeping kids. And Free WiFi and food
You need to find the right people but people will pay. Why don’t you work in a gan? You could get 40 an hour and 60 for afternoon hours
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tichellady
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 11:02 am
[quote="LovesHashem"]Wage here is pretty low. Fanatic Frummie you could totally make more if you find the right people? Do you davka take on hard kids? I know a family that has the worst kids I ever met but they give you 50 an hour. ]
What a sales pitch 🤭
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#BestBubby
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 11:03 am
| ora_43 wrote: | Practically speaking, there's a huge gap in the logic here:
Daycare isn't safe, because a random group of women is likely to abuse babies.
So babies should stay home. With their mothers.
Who are also random women.
*
"Daycare workers" aren't a separate species. If women abuse kids, then daycare isn't safe but home isn't safe either. If the overwhelming majority of women don't abuse kids, then the majority of daycares are safe. |
All NORMAL women LOVE their babies and take very good care. There are rare exceptions.
Random women don't love your babies and lack patience for babies endless crying.
If you pay them enough maybe they won't be so annoyed with the babies - but will not
necessarily LOVE your baby.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 11:08 am
| #BestBubby wrote: | All NORMAL women LOVE their babies and take very good care. There are rare exceptions.
Random women don't love your babies and lack patience for babies endless crying.
If you pay them enough maybe they won't be so annoyed with the babies - but will not
necessarily LOVE your baby. |
I mostly agree with this.
If you pay very well, the workers will likely be higher calibre, happier to be working there, and therefore likely to be more patient and caring to the kids. Hopefully more than just "not annoyed" or tolerating the kids there.
Poor wages + being spread too thin is a disaster in the making. It doesn't excuse the abuse. But explains it.
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FranticFrummie
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 11:13 am
| LovesHashem wrote: | Wage here is pretty low. Fanatic Frummie you could totally make more if you find the right people? Do you davka take on hard kids? I know a family that has the worst kids I ever met but they give you 50 an hour.
When I was single I only babysat for 25 an hour minimum. At night. With sleeping kids. And Free WiFi and food
You need to find the right people but people will pay. Why don’t you work in a gan? You could get 40 an hour and 60 for afternoon hours |
I actually quit a job that paid 40 shekels plus meals. It was only 4 hours a day, but the kids were so horrible, spoiled, disrespectful, and straight up MEAN, that I gave notice and ran to the bus stop in tears. I couldn't even finish my shift, and had to call the mom to come home. The mom didn't look the least bit surprised. If anything, she was probably wondering how I lasted so long in the first place.
You couldn't pay me enough to go back to that family. I could tell you so many horror stories. And the mom was pregnant! OMG, that poor baby. I think I got PTSD from that job.
So the short answer is "NO". I will not be hit, kicked, spit on, slapped, or run away from every 5 minutes. There is no amount of money that will make me subject myself to daily abuse. I wouldn't take it from an adult, and I won't take it from a 5 year old.
I had one mom who needed me to work late, and since it was walking distance from my apartment I agreed. As she was walking out the door, she tossed over her shoulder, "Oh, and Dovi is autistic, but he's a good boy!"  The mom didn't come home until after 3am.
The boy had a meltdown the minute she left, and didn't stop until she came back. The 6 year old big sister is obviously the "mom" of the house, and she thought that everything I did was wrong. I figured that since she knew best, I'd just sit on the sofa and read. There was nothing I could do about it except make sure nobody burns the house down. B'H she never called me back, probably because the 6yo told her I was a bad person.
I give kids my whole heart, but if they are emotionally disturbed or have severe behavior challenges, they need to be seeing a licensed therapist, not a babysitter. I do not have the temperament or educational background to handle these types of situations.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 11:13 am
| amother [ Ruby ] wrote: | The ratio is 1:6. 2-3 groups per room. So if one of us doing something the other can watch the rest of the babies.
It's easier in a room with 3 groups. There's less pressure if one needs to go to the bathroom or something. In a room with 2 groups with small babies it's much more difficult.
If I need to go prepare bottles I'm unavailable completely as you are not allowed to take babies into that area legally since there is boiling water there. If the other metapelet is changing one of her kids, or doing something else everyone else is ignored for that period of time. |
1:6 is insanity for infants.
It's set up for neglect.
Even a mother with twins needs someone always on hand with feeding changing diapering bathing etc.
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HelloG
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 11:17 am
| banana123 wrote: | | Last year there was a huge daycare abuse scandal, which prompted the passage of the "camera law." After that it became mandatory to install cameras and apparently one of the parents wanted the reassurance enough to volunteer to install them, and asked permission to do so. Nothing suspicious about that. | ''
thanks for the explanation
so I guess it is common if it's the second scandal recently
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#BestBubby
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 1:08 pm
Hashem made humans born one at a time to mothers who have an instinctual
love for their babies.
To change that "nature" into raising babies in baby factory / orphanages with
1:6 ratios of women who are not biologically related is a recipe for life-long damage.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 1:13 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | Hashem made humans born one at a time to mothers who have an instinctual
love for their babies.
To change that "nature" into raising babies in baby factory / orphanages with
1:6 ratios of women who are not biologically related is a recipe for life-long damage. |
Yes, day cares as they currently are with this ratio, are set up for disaster. One to one for infants is how it's meant to be.
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#BestBubby
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 1:32 pm
| amother [ Babypink ] wrote: | | Yes, day cares as they currently are with this ratio, are set up for disaster. One to one for infants is how it's meant to be. |
With a MOTHER who is hard-wired to love the baby.
You can never get that kind of care with daycare centers.
There is no substitute for MOTHER-CARE.
Sorry folks.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 1:51 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | With a MOTHER who is hard-wired to love the baby.
You can never get that kind of care with daycare centers.
There is no substitute for MOTHER-CARE.
Sorry folks. |
And who do you want to be paying for this baby's diapers, formula and clothing if the MOTHER is home with the baby all day?
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 1:56 pm
| amother [ Rose ] wrote: | | And who do you want to be paying for this baby's diapers, formula and clothing if the MOTHER is home with the baby all day? |
I think extended maternity leaves like they have in Europe are ideal. In some countries it goes up to two years.
Of course ideally the mother should take care of her baby until they are older and can go to kindergarten in my opinion, but of course that's not always possible.
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Mommyg8
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 2:00 pm
| amother [ Rose ] wrote: | | And who do you want to be paying for this baby's diapers, formula and clothing if the MOTHER is home with the baby all day? |
Well, she DID say about five pages ago that ideally the government should give new mothers a stipend of some sort. Didn't I hear someone say that in socialist countries they allow mothers to get a years paid maternity leave???? And, also, in Israel, don't you get a certain amount of money per child from the government?
They keep talking about getting the government to pay towards child care (and they actually do pay somewhat towards childcare here in the US), but wouldn't it be nice if it was a CHOICE?
But really small children are very, very cheap. She doesn't have to buy formula - she can nurse. In the US, if she's eligible, WIC pays for the formula. If she's home she has time to use cloth diapers. And clothing for tiny babies can really be free, or almost. Everyone's willing to give away their kid's old baby clothes. And five stretchies bought on sale is hardly going to break the bank.
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#BestBubby
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 2:10 pm
| amother [ Rose ] wrote: | | And who do you want to be paying for this baby's diapers, formula and clothing if the MOTHER is home with the baby all day? |
How did we survive for nearly 6,000 years without mothers working outside the home?
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 2:22 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | | How did we survive for nearly 6,000 years without mothers working outside the home? |
Because traditionally the man was the primary bread winner.
I am not going to debate the kollel lifestyle. But fact is, it definitely accelerated frum women working f/t in order to support the family.
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amother
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 2:25 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | | How did we survive for nearly 6,000 years without mothers working outside the home? |
No health insurance. No heating, keep warm by bringing the goats into your bed.
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#BestBubby
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Fri, Aug 14 2020, 2:40 pm
| amother [ Tangerine ] wrote: | | No health insurance. No heating, keep warm by bringing the goats into your bed. |
People had health insurance and heating in the 1950s.
In USA the supported Women's Lib to get women into the workforce.
This made Wealthy richer as the wages were CUT IN HALF as the workforce DOUBLED
In 1950s ONE Worker could support a stay at home wife and kids and own a house,
car, heating and health insurance.
Today, thanks to Open Borders that are SUPPRESSING wages it became very difficult to live on one income.
Last edited by #BestBubby on Fri, Aug 14 2020, 3:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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