Walking sibling to the chuppah can't be pregnant?

amother ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:41 am

Has anyone heard of this before? My sister is getting married and my mother told me make sure I am not pregnant because it isn't allowed to walk her? I asked her why she didn't know.

Crayon210 ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:43 am

According to some (Lubavitch among them), the people who accompany the bride and groom to the chuppah must be 2 people. Not three (or more!) Supposed to be exactly two people.

Same for the people who pass the baby at the bris (temporarily blanking on their title).

SleepingBeauty

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:46 am

Don't know, I think it may be a chassidish thing. My sil walked my step-brother down and she was preg!

BeershevaBubby ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:47 am

Crayon210 wrote:

Same for the people who pass the baby at the bris (temporarily blanking on their title).

Kvatter?

chocolate moose

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:47 am

Right, I'm with Crayon.

↑ Crayon210 ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:47 am

Kmelion wrote:

Crayon210 wrote:

Same for the people who pass the baby at the bris (temporarily blanking on their title).

Kvatter?

So what's the...oh, he's called the Sandek. Right. I knew kvatter, but I couldn't come up with sandek, so I thought maybe I was wrong about kvatter...

Carry on... 8)

Raisin

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:48 am

do you mean that your parents can't do it so you and your husband will have to?

Me and dh were the unterfiren (is that what its called) for dh's brother, because hi mother is not alive. Nobody asked me if I was pregnant. (I wasn't)

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:48 am

But why? If my mother walks with us to the chuppah.... That is already three.

yentaof8

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:48 am

I did hear of this - one of the proofs of a fetus being recognized as a living person is that if the one walking down a bride is pregnant then the fetus is counted as a 3rd party. I also heard, that if the person was pregnant, while she may not actually hold the bride's arm, she can be directly one step behind.

↑ BeershevaBubby

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:49 am

I've been to weddings where the mother of the bride or groom is visibly pregnant and from what I recall, the mother walked her child down (along with another adult)

Mama Bear ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:49 am

actually, when the kvatter is a niddah they usually take a third person to be the intermediary,, and also if someone is in her first trimester and is given kvatter they dotn tell.... so there have been '3 people' kvattters...

↑ Crayon210

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 10:50 am

amother wrote:

But why? If my mother walks with us to the chuppah.... That is already three.

There are two people who are "officially" the unterfirers. The rest of the world can walk behind them, but there are two who are "official".

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 11:20 am

I missed my period but could be late. Does that mean if I don't get it I can't walk her to the chuppah? Am I obligated to check? Do I need to tell my sister and mother that I may be pregnant? Sad

For the mother that asked my mother is a widow.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 11:25 am

I heard that it has to be a complete couple, meaning a married couple. I was recently at a wedding where the parents were divorced so right behind the kallah with her parents walked a married couple.

↑ Mama Bear

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 11:26 am

I dont think youre obligated to check nor to tell them. I think if youre OBVIOUSLY pregnant youre not unterfirer. if no one sees or knows I dont think it's an issue.

greentiger

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 11:28 am

One of the women who walked me down was quite advanced in her pregnancy. I never heard of this...

Lechatchila Ariber

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 3:57 pm

just a side joke...
unterfirers - interferes - (when its the parents).......... Twisted Evil

just kidding, don't hit me now...........

RedRuby

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 4:12 pm

Quote:

just a side joke...
unterfirers - interferes - (when its the parents)..........

I won't hit you...I'm laughing!

Pickle Lady

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 4:16 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

I dont think youre obligated to check nor to tell them. I think if youre OBVIOUSLY pregnant youre not unterfirer. if no one sees or knows I dont think it's an issue.

My aunt and uncle were my unterfers at my the chuppah. She was in her first trimester then. She wasn't visibly pregnant.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Jan 16 2008, 7:18 pm

my mil was visibly pregnant by our wedding - and yes, she walked dh down with fil.