Huge fight with my relatives over corona/simcha in NY

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amother

OP ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:12 pm

My family has a simcha in NY this week. a lot of us already live in NY but my parents who are older and not in the best of health live a few hours away. I think we should not allow my parents to come and keep them where they are (in a city which has not gotten the virus bh)
and some of my relatives said that we cannot push off the simcha and it wouldnt be fair to them to miss it so we should just risk it and also I am blowing things out of proportion.
I am so mad. it feels like they are burying their heads in the sand.
would you let your over age 65 parents and not in the best of health travel to NY this week?

avrahamama

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:15 pm

I'd share my concerns and then they will decide for themselves. We can't really make our parents do anything...

itsmeima

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:15 pm

I'm with you!

Unfortunately simchas will go on, Purim parties will go on, traveling for yom tov will go on...!

People aren't taking this seriously Banging head

amother

Aquamarine ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:19 pm

I feel so bad for you Op!

You are totally right!

It is completely insane for people to act as if business as usual!!!

amother

Jetblack

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:19 pm

Nobody should pressure the parents either way. They're adults who can make their own decision.

amother

Burlywood

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:21 pm

I think you are blowing things out of proportion

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:22 pm

like I said my parents are not in the best of health and are at the point where they will do whatever we tell them to do.

WhatFor

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 10:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

like I said my parents are not in the best of health and are at the point where they will do whatever we tell them to do.

I personally wouldn't advise an immunocompromised person to attend a simcha right now in a city where the virus is spreading. I probably wouldn't even attend myself, but I tend to use a conservative approach to these kinds of things. I feel for people who have planned simchas for right now, only to learn that the virus is now within the community.

I could be totally wrong, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before there are limits in NY on the amount of people who can congregate right at any given function right now. We saw that in China to help stop the spread, and I know Israel imposed that more recently. Weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs may have to be substantially smaller affairs.

amother

Natural ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:10 pm

If it’s in newrochelle ny
1000 members are self quarantined
Thirty people have it from young isreal of newrochelle and one person has it from the jre which is connected to the young Israel of white plains
A few shuls canceled purim
The Westchester day school is closed one student has it
Two students have it fro
M Westchester torah academy
A few public schools are closed
I’ve skating ring is closed
You can’t visit nursing homes or assisted living places

amother

↑ Aquamarine ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:12 pm

CDC says they should not fly afaik

maybe they should ask their doctor

amother

↑ Natural ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:12 pm

The cdc says people over sixty should try to stay home
Under sixty their is one percent chance of catching it

amother

Vermilion

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:14 pm

I agree with you 100 percent it's not worth the risk. Your parents should stay home and someone should video chat them during the whole entire simcha. Nothing is ever worth the risk when It comes to family members health . It's just a simcha , if your siblings want your parents to attend more future simchas then they should realize that right now is not the time and place to take a risk on their health !!!

amother

Royalblue

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:17 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

They canceled Purim?? 😮 or they canceled sched prog??

amother

Ecru

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

would you let your over age 65 parents and not in the best of health travel to NY this week?

No, I wouldn't. While it might turn out OK, the downside risk is too great.

amother

↑ Aquamarine

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:18 pm

I would tell them not to come and to Skype in or something.
It is really sad but necessary in light of whats going on.
Your parents' well being overrides all else.

MiracleMama ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:18 pm

Why are 3rd parties debating this? Are your parents mentally incapacitated? If not, they can and should make their own decisions.

ETA: I see you mention they are not in great health. But is anything wrong with their minds?

shanarishona

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:20 pm

They should stay home!!!

amother

Pearl

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:30 pm

YES, you are right. I would suggest they stay home and iyH they will attend many more simchas in the future.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:39 pm

MiracleMama wrote:

no but they are also not in the best shape to make this decision. They dont follow the news. they rely on us alot.

↑ MiracleMama

Sat, Mar 07 2020, 11:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

no but they are also not in the best shape to make this decision. They dont follow the news. they rely on us alot.

Then encourage them to speak with their doctors. I'm sure any responsible doctor is going to advise them to avoid crowds. Let them take doctor's advice instead of having to listen to one relative or the other and cause family friction.

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