Do your kids watch? What and how much?

Rappel

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 8:46 am

I'm reading this over, and my heart is sinking.

My kids are still little, and our rule now is no screen time, except to video call family.

I thought we'd keep this up. I really hate watching my children slack and zone out whenever we visit someone with a television.

But after reading all these responses -- I wonder if we'll even be able to. That makes me truly sad.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 9:00 am

Rappel wrote:

This was me once upon a time. Funny thing is I actually came to terms with being less hard on myself and less of a martyr. How much time one is able to spend with their children has do to with so many different factors. Where one lives, if they are near family or friends. If mom works. Does she work full time or part time etc. My DH is a student. He has no interaction with frum people outside of minyan and shabbos. Its extremely important to him to invite family and friends over for meals on shabbosim and yomim tovim or he literally feels like hes living in a different world. I see his perspective however I work full time and for me to host means all the prep needs to get done when the kids are around. I can drive myself crazy and say no to all screen time... I can also loose my sanity. You hear me?

amother

Periwinkle ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 11:05 am

Am I the only one on here whose kids watch 1.5 to 2 hrs per day? And not torah videos, kids shows on netflix? Im feeling like this sample of replies is super skewed.
We are middle of the road, jpf people. Kids in yeshivish schools in ny. My kids get home exhausted and after hrs of school, dinner , homework and baths they just need to "veg".
It's not ideal but they need a break and after hw I need a break too!

Btw I have limited it down, at one point a few years ago my kids were watching around 3 to 4 hrs a day!

amother

↑ Cerise

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 12:17 pm

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

I'm yeshivish, live in lkwd and do not allow my kids to watch anything at all. I don't care about content much, more about the effect of screen time on their brains.
They occasionally watch something by a neighbor, but they know to ask permission. Usually during school vacation and very hot weather.
I provide them with dozens of library books to read, and keep on refreshing the reading supply. I also encourage card and other games.
It's not much of a struggle even though every single classmate and neighbor does watch. They're just used to our opinion about it.
And btw, 2 of them are really difficult adhd kids..

I guess "really difficult ADHD" is a relative term. Especially if you're physically healthy and can be bogged down with keeping them busy.

amother

Gray

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 1:25 pm

I'm not in lakewood, but am fascinated by this thread.

I live in EY, and my kids have only watched movies on (long) airplanes, an elmo potty video while toilet training, and 1-4 episodes of Daniel tiger ever, when they came to work with me and I had an hour long meeting. Now they are school aged, and we don't allow any, except Skype with grandparents.

I see that many kids here have internet, parents have filtered smartphones and the more "moderni" people will put on uncle moishy type things, or snoopy, on rare occasions.

I see that they aren't even interested-the school age kid movies are too fast paced and intense for my kids. On a recent plane trip, my 8 year old was watching Dora.

I'm shocked that no one here is saying never, and that the schools have a policy on TV. Here, it's just understood. They have policies about everything else though.

amother

Navy

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 2:01 pm

My kids are almost all teens now, and I regret letting them watch harmless shows. At the time I thought I needed it for my sanity (I was in grad school with lots of little kids), but it creates a taiva that's hard to stop. My kids associate vegging out in front of a video with relaxation and calming and they crave that feeling. Now that they're older it's almost impossible to find kosher stuff, and I think it becomes a michshol. One of my sons bought himself two smartphones on the sly (he's not in a school or community where this is accepted) because he wanted to go on YouTube. If I could go back in time I would drastically restrict the videos (and I didn't even let them watch a lot tbh, it was never more than an hour a day, and usually less).

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 2:15 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Yes, that's how it used to be with TV probably 10+ years ago. What changed things up and made it more acceptable was watching stuff on the computer with dvds. Very few true yeshivish families had actual televisions back then but computers were ok (I'm not even talking about internet).
And now that there is so much available for free or very low cost to stream and the internet is so ubiquitous, I don't think things will go back to the way it was. Like my Israeli family members always say, the frum community in EY is a bit behind the U.S. So it's coming there too (and probably has already started, you may just be unaware).

amother

Turquoise ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 3:31 pm

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

I hope you’re the only one.

amother

↑ Brown

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:31 pm

I’m in Lakewood. DH working blue shirt.
Zero screen time. We have no DVD player and kids have no internet access.
Nothing makes me more annoyed then when they have a play date and watch. Isn’t going to a friends house supposed to be a social experience.
I work from home full time. Large family. Vacation days are hard but my kids are really active and I think they just have to keep so busy.
I grew up with tv but DH grew up with no screen time at all. I think he has some form of adult add. Watching anything and sitting is so painful for him. He feels like he threw away 2 hours of his life. So it’s just not a part of our lives.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:44 pm

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

You’re not the only one at all.

amother

↑ Periwinkle

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:58 pm

amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:

I hope you’re the only one.

And people like you are exactly the reason we have a skewed sample. People are scared of being judged.
Fyi I'd rather my kids grow up watching not Jewish shows every day while being taught the importance of not judging people than having children with your "holier than thou" attitude whose neshamas are pure from hours of netflix but judge people immediately

amother

White

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:20 pm

I live in Lakewood, and I’m moderately chassidish. When my first child was young he had lots of health issues and he watched lots of educational stuff and Jewish videos at doctors offices, etc. With my younger children I became older and wiser, screen time is now limited to once in a blue moon, if I’m busy Friday afternoon, we’re talking maybe once in two months. Even then, they watch Jewish music videos or Feivish. It’s become a way of life that’s so ingrained, it wouldn’t even occur to me to give them screen time when I’m busy. It may seem impossible to cut down when screen time is part of your routine but I can only say that I’ve done it, and everyone’s quality of life is so much better, mine and the kids.

amother

↑ Turquoise

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:44 pm

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

Great, do you feel better now?

amother

Slategray

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:53 pm

I let my kids watch specific shows like Daniel tiger on amazon prime. Anything that’s educational is ok. I deleted YouTube kids from my iPad because kids would watch ridiculous things. I let them watch 3 x a week for an hour each time and that’s it. They know it’s a strict rule and no arguing about it. I also let them watch no matter what so they trust me to give them their time.