Menorah size | Imamother

amother

Natural ↓

Mon, Dec 03 2018, 8:24 pm

B'h my parents bought my (then chosson) husband a beautiful silver menorah. This was over a decade ago.
The menorah is not huge, but definitely not small. My husband is the most amazing person BH, but I can tell that he was/is disappointed that it's not bigger. He never brought it up, but every time he sees a picture of a friend's or sibling's menorah, he says "wow, he got a mechubadik menorah!". We are simple people, but I guess in our circles, people get bigger ones. I feel bad that he doesn't have a bigger one, but there really isn't much I can do. I really feel like I am being so shallow and vain, but every Chanukah I feel bad again... I guess I'm just venting

amother

Amethyst ↓

Mon, Dec 03 2018, 9:24 pm

When I was newly married, I went with my bil to choose a menorah as a surprise for my husband. I wanted to buy a large, expensive one, but my bil convinced me that my husband would be happier if I saved money and bought him a smaller one. So I bought a smaller one that was more reasonable, and my husband is happy with it. Fast forward a year and bil gets married and my new sil buys him a big, fancy menorah (similar to the one he talked me out of buying for my husband).
Well my mil came over on Chanukah and sees my husband’s menorah and comments “it’s a pretty nice menorah - not as nice as bil’s menorah, but OK. . .”

She didn’t mean anything by it - it was just a thoughtless comment. Well it’s been 30+ years, and she is no longer alive, and the comment still rankles . . .

So I can relate . . .

amother

↑ Natural

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 2:40 pm

Op here lol! My op is from last year, but Chanukah is here again and here we go again...
Bh it bothers me less this year, but still feel a little bad for DH.
Edited to add that op is actually from 2 years ago Smile

thunderstorm

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 2:50 pm

Maybe you could start saving up to upgrade it, if it’s that important. You can trade in the one your DH has and add money to upgrade it to the size and style he likes. It might take more than a year to save up for it, but at least in two years from now you can come back here with the update letting us know how happy your DH was with his new Chanuka present.

Fave

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 4:33 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

It’s from 2 years ago! Time flies.

Honestly I like the small menorahs.
Some of the huge ones are just not proportionate. To each their own.

Elfrida

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 7:28 pm

My father got a silver one for his wedding, but he never liked it. More based on style that size, I think, but he always lit a smaller olive wood one that my mother had brought when she was single.

When I was in seminary they came to visit me just before Chanukah, and went out together to choose a new Chanukiah. They got a very pretty one, with all coloured glass decorations. He's lit that one ever since.

Maybe its cultural, but I know hardly anyone who uses a silver Chanukiah. When you light outside, leaving a silver Chanukiah outside your door unattended for hours (and the whole of Shabbos) is asking for trouble.

amother

↑ Amethyst

Thu, Dec 10 2020, 9:22 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Well if it’s been 30 years you can buy a new one. You definitely got your money’s worth!

At this point it has too much sentimental value to trade up, so we’ll just keep on using it. Wink

To OP, you can eventually get DH a special esrog box, megillah holder or the like, and it will be all the more appreciated. . .