Multiple multiples

amother

Seafoam ↓

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 5:32 pm

Mom of two sets of twins. All under age 5. Including 5 month olds.

Any chizuk, suggestions, tips, ANYTHING (!!) from others with multiple multiples? Between raising the kids, managing the house and working I don't know how I'm going to pull through. No extra money for help- we are falling behind on bills as is.

Help? Anyone? I know multiple multiples is not common but I'm hoping there is some advice out there! Let me know it's possible to survive - and how.

No hugs- I don't need sympathy. I need help!

animeme

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 5:40 pm

Call the local high school and ask for chesed girls. Families with only one set of multiples often do this. It's not everything, but it can help you at least somewhat.

Years ago, a friend of mine wrote to a diaper company and a formula company and they gave her bulk discounts.

No personal experience, sorry. I know families who have come out the other side, if that's any consolation. One of them made aliyah.

thunderstorm

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 6:33 pm

amother wrote:

So it seems high schoolers these days only want to do specific chesed and we don't make the cut.

Will be emailing all companies- thanks for the suggestion

Seriously? What type of chesed do they want to do? I can't believe what I'm hearing.
I remember going to a friend for Shabbos and Friday afternoon we spent at her neighbor who had quadruplets and twins all under the age of 3, so the parents could shower for Shabbos and do the last minute prep. And we were in addition to two other paid women that were there all day.
I'm so upset that highschool girls wouldn't help out. It makes me sad to know this .

amother

Ginger ↓

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 6:47 pm

I have a neighbor who has two sets of twins. The neighborhood got together and made a rotation, every day two 6th-8th graders went after school for two hours. Then the high school girls took their two hour shifts. There are enough girls in the neighborhood that each girl only had to go once every two weeks. The girls were so excited to take care of twins and the parents were thrilled with the help. I think we did it for over a year, until things calmed down a little.

I'm know it's hard to ask for help, but mention it to one neighbor who you feel close to and see if she will take care of it for you.

amother

↑ Seafoam

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 8:09 pm

Thanks all.

HS girls use Bnos as chesed, or babysitting. And they pick things that are easy and built in,don't look for those that actually need it. The high school in the past hasn't been overly helpful (with the first set...) In my day it was different, too.

We had a lot of help for the first 1.5 months from the community. And I am so grateful! But after it just dropped, and asking hasn't helped. I get some "I'd love to helps!" But when push comes to shove, everyone has a reason they can't. I get it- people are busy, etc. But I still need to find ways to get the help I need before I go crazy..

Some people were sending 3-4th graders occasionally and some of the kids were really helpful and great, while others I was basically babysitting. Became tricky who to say yes or no to because the kids all talked.

I'll see about 7+8th graders. Hadn't thought of that group.

No help from government- we are just above all income requirements so don't qualify for any help at all.

amother

↑ Ginger

Thu, Oct 18 2018, 12:07 am

amother wrote:

You need to approach the "organizer" in your neighborhood. Every neighborhood has someone like that, the one who takes care of suppers after babies, and carpools and arranging the cleaning ladies. Ask her to take care of it for you.

3-4th graders are too young, like you said, you are basically babysitting them. Even the responsible ones can't be left alone with your little kids.

You really need the young teens or high school girls. In my dds' high school they can choose their own chessed or else get placed by the school. My dd and and the other neighborhood high school girls chose to help this neighbor as their chessed project for the year. Now that Yom Tov is over and the girls have settled in, this is the time that many schools set up their chessed programs. Try to get your neighborhood teens to commit to you now, if possible.