Crying on YK | Imamother

Ruchel

Sat, Sep 08 2007, 9:44 pm

A few years ago I read that you HAVE to cry on YK.

Did you learn it? Do you do it? Do you see most women sitting around you crying? What about men (ask your husband)?
If you say yes to any of these ones, is it light crying/ a few tears, or really sobbing and weeping?

I never learned it, before this reading. I don't do it, and have not seen women crying, even among those who followed the prayer (not the chatters). My husband says he has seen a few men crying, some years.

shoy18

Sat, Sep 08 2007, 9:55 pm

sorry never heard of this before, the most important thing is to daven with kavana and have nothing else on your mind, I don't think crying is required

shluchamom

Sat, Sep 08 2007, 10:02 pm

I never heard of this but that doesn't make it true or not, however crying is an expression of emotions. one can't command someone to cry and it should be sincere crying that has to come from within. However, if one truly focuses on the tefillos and the seriousness of the day I can see it bringing forth an emotional feeling that would lead some to crying.

Maya

Sat, Sep 08 2007, 10:08 pm

I also remember hearing something about that once, but I'm not sure it could even make sense. How could you be commanded to cry?? It doesn't always work. In fact, the harder you try, the more it eludes you.

chocolate moose ↓

Sat, Sep 08 2007, 10:38 pm

My Hebrew isn't that good, and there's a LOT of davening to keep up with. I don't always know what I'm saying so I'm loathe to cry about things I'm not sure about.

I HAVE seen others cry.

Tehilla

Sat, Sep 08 2007, 11:07 pm

I've seen people cry.

Personally though, I'm much more somber on Rosh Hashana. When Yom Kippur comes, I almost want to dance 'cause I'm so sure Hashem has already sealed us all for only good things!

Yakira ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 12:46 am

I actually really can't relate to people that cry...I know that makes me look bad. But it's just not how I spend my davening. I understand during some of the more serious prayers, unesaneh tokef, neilah, etc. But I was sitting with the other newly-married girls in my shul last year and was surprised to see a couple of them crying a lot. Why were they crying so much? I just don't understand. Especially during tefillos that are talking about crowning Hashem as Melech or blowing the shofar. HOw is that an emotional tefila?

greenfire ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 6:41 am

hm crying - try having a hard life finding your tefilos begging Hashem for an easier one for life and health and sustenance - for your children for the world ... how can you not cry at any given opportunity for such prayer - not just on yom kippur ...

amother ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 7:34 am

I cry almost every year. I cry during Shofar blowing, as that is the time I feel most "exposed" to Hashem's judgement. I am so aware of how little I deserve, and how much I have, and plead with Hashem to continue to give me the health, strength, love, and material comforts He has bestowed upon me until now.
I cry during Unetenah Tokef, when I think of all those who sufferred and died over the years Al Kiddush Hashem, of those who are ill and may not make it until next Rosh Hashanna, those who have lost loved ones over the past year, those in dire economic crisis etc.
I keep my machzor over my face, as I don't want people to see me.

happyone

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 7:52 am

I can't say I cry every year. I do cry when I think about what I am davening and hoping for the coming year. I fell apart last year when it was right after my fathers sudden death, and "Mi Yichye, umi Yames" actually had real meaning.

People cry when it touches something real. Some cry while asking for parnassa, some when asked for a refuah. I don't believe you HAVE to cry, but if you concentrate on what you are saying it brings up emotions and challenges ppl are facing and daven for a better year.

Esther23

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 8:05 am

Yakira why are you surprised that people cry? When you're actually standing judgement and you know that your fate for the coming year is being decided right now, well to me that's pretty emotional and scary and would make sense to bring tears to one's eyes, making us beg Hashem to spare us the tzaros and only give us good, having real charatah for the aveiros and trying to do teshuvah especially since this posuk is usually on my mind "teshuva tefillah tzedaka maavirin es roah hagezeirah".
The parts of davening where we are being mamlich Hashem as king, well that might not be so emotional for most but I guess those people are already in the emotional mood and everything seems emotional then.

BeershevaBubby ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 8:12 am

chocolate moose wrote:

My Hebrew isn't that good, and there's a LOT of davening to keep up with. I don't always know what I'm saying so I'm loathe to cry about things I'm not sure about.

I HAVE seen others cry.

I use the Artscroll Machzorim for Rosh haShanah and Yom Kippur because I want to be able to understand what I'm saying.

Since switching to a Hebrew-English Machzor, I've found my davening to have a lot more kavanah because I understand what I'm saying.

And "Avinu Malkainu" always brings me to tears.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 8:27 am

Yakira wrote:

Especially during tefillos that are talking about crowning Hashem as Melech or blowing the shofar. HOw is that an emotional tefila?

Davenning that Hashem should be Melech is one of the most emotional parts of RH and YK. It is also the main thing to daven for.

Just to think that there will be a reality when everyone will recognize Him and worship only Him. That all the false movements and wicked people will be gone and everyone will know the Truth.

TzenaRena ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 8:29 am

"כל מי שאינו בוכה בימים אלה[(ו)?] אין נשמתו שלימה "

"Whoever doesn't cry during these days (Aseres Ymei Teshuva), his neshomoh is not complete". the Arizal.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 9:06 am

Kmelion, I can't both read the English and get through all the Hebrew.

TR, thanks (sarcasm intended). So my neshoma isn't complete. What then?

↑ BeershevaBubby

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 9:25 am

Quote:

Kmelion, I can't both read the English and get through all the Hebrew.

For me, it's not about quantity but about quality.

If I don't get to read every word of every part of all the davening because I'm busy reflecting over a particular tefillah, or crying to haKadosh Baruch Hu from my heart while the rest of the Tzibur is doing something else, it doesn't bother me.

For me, it's more important I understand whatever it is I'm saying, and really mean it and yes, maybe say less, than make sure I rush through Shmoneh Esrei to keep up with everyone else and not understand what I'm davening about.

↑ greenfire ↓

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 9:45 am

Kmelion wrote:

And "Avinu Malkainu" always brings me to tears.

hey me too ...

also when I daven shmona esrai and take steps back ... I daven to Hashem my own prayers ... that for sure brings me to tears ...

even if you can't read the hebrew/english during davening ... one can read it to learn and to see and to be familiar ...

אבינו מלכנו חננו ועננו כי אין בנו מעשים עשה עמנו צדקה וחסד והושיענו

our father our king, be favorful and answer us, because I do not have (enough good) deeds ... do with us charity and kindness and help us

tell me ... how could not knowing what this means not help you pray and beseech Hashem for a better year ...

↑ amother

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 10:05 am

Chocolate,
If you have time before Yom Tov, listen to:
http://www.yutorah.org/showShi.....chzor
and
http://www.yutorah.org/showShi.....Women
They are shiurim explaining the Machzor.
You might find it helpful to study the machzor BEFORE Yom Tov, than to try to scramble to read the English whilst actually at shul.
Then you have a better chance of both quality and quantity.
A Gutt Yor.

hadasa

Sun, Sep 09 2007, 10:21 am

I've heard some old Machzorim said before certain Tefilos "Kan tzarich livkos" ("Here one is obligated to cry") but I don't know if that's true.

In any case, I think you should try your best to Daven with Kavanah, whether it brings you to tears or not. Some people just cry more easily than others. As for me, I find myself getting more emotional with the years... Confused