Just for laughs! | Imamother

mommy9

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 12:30 am

How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?

432
Why so many?
It just does! Okay?

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 9:13 am

Trigger Warning! One offensive word and one mention of Dr. Mengele, Yemach sh'mo, v'zichro.

Lekavod Purim..

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 10:19 am

The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myselfThe first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself,

"This changes everything"

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 10:21 am

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.

↑ Optimystic ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 1:32 pm

I am right 97% of the time. Who cares about the other 4%?

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 1:40 pm

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought "Dogs are easily amused", then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.

PMS jokes are not funny or appropriate. Period!

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 1:41 pm

Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner...

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 1:42 pm

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect...

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet - you can hide, but you can't run.

↑ Optimystic

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 2:16 pm

56% of statistics are just made up.

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 2:19 pm

My friend keeps trying to convince me that she's a compulsive liar but I don't believe her.. .

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 2:20 pm

It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 2:22 pm

I had a neck-braced fitted years ago, and I never looked back since..

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 2:22 pm

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she literally hit the roof.

↑ enneamom

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 2:25 pm

I was gonna do a one-liner about apathy, but then I figured, why bother?

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 3:32 pm

My boss told me I intimidate other coworkers, so I just stared at him, until he apologized...

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 3:34 pm

Prisoner: "I’m sorry I tried to escape..."

Guard: "I’m not mad, just… disappointed.. '

Remember, kids, never let your guard down.

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 3:36 pm

Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion.

I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence...

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 6:44 pm

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot.

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 6:45 pm

The mother who injected her 8 year-old child with Botox for the beauty pageant has lost custody.

The daughter didn't look surprised.

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Tue, Feb 27 2018, 7:04 pm

I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage.

I lost my case