Why did I fail? | Imamother

amother

Maroon ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 10:40 am

The other posts about the teachers struggling with classroom management have a lot of good tips. I tried all of those. Read all the books, tried all the ideas. I also had a lot of support from the administration, professional development, personal mentorship by older, more experienced teachers. I kept trying till the very end, I desperately wanted it to work out because I had always wanted to teach. In the end, I decided I just wasn't cut out for it. I became part of the statistic that 50% of teachers quit within 5 years. That was 2 years ago and I have been having trouble launching a new career and I'm just feeling really bitter about the whole thing. Why couldn't I manage a classroom doing all the right things? Why did I fail? I have zero desire to give teaching another try even if I do get answers here, but maybe I can at least have some closure.

happy to be me

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 10:52 am

Your experience doesn't mean that you weren't "cut out for it"
Sometimes a class can be very harsh and cruel. Have you ever thought of teaching one on one/tutoring in a school resource room? Don't let this bad experience define you.

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 10:56 am

It wasn't one bad experience. It was a few years of bad experiences. Plus, I taught high school, so I had several classes each year. Every single one was a disaster, it wasn't just a matter of particularly tough group or two. I never wanted to teach a different age and never wanted to do resource room. So I'm just looking for something else entirely at this point.

amother

Wheat

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 11:01 am

amother wrote:

Ok, I hear you, but tell us in your opinion what went wrong? Were you working in a school that had exceptionally high standards with an over demanding principle? Did the principal offer support? Where the classes to big? What do you think were the top 2 or 3 issues that left you with this bad feeling?

miami85 ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 11:06 am

I can definitely relate. I don't think I was a "bad" teacher, but I was involved in special education which has its own challenges. I just always seemed to run into the "crazy directors" who could never be satisfied with my performance. If my classroom would run as smoothly as other teachers--they would somehow expect more, or I would have that extra-difficult child that try as I may would defy all the special-ed textbooks and make my life a living nightmare, or I would have a revolving-door of assistants thus every day it would be trying to train new staff to work with difficult children instead of providing the consistency that these children needed. Thus, I think I "survived" about 6-7 years before giving up classroom teaching but I think it was Hashem's way of guiding me into my proper career one that was built off of the ruins of my teaching career--kind of my own Phoenix, but without that constant struggle in the classroom I may have gotten complacent and never would've reached my true-potential in my current career. May Hashem grant you guidance to direct you to the career where you can reach your fullest-potential.

Last edited by miami85 on Wed, Nov 15 2017, 11:21 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 11:18 am

amother wrote:

I worked in 2 different girls schools. One was more academically demanding and one was more known for being "warm". In both I had a supportive administration- it was the first school that sent me for professional development (that was always the plan, even before it became apparent I was struggling) and the second principal paired me with older teachers for help. The classes were not particularly big, all under 25. There was one and only one issue: I couldn't manage a classroom no matter what I tried.

↑ miami85

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 11:26 am

amother wrote:

One thing I figured out with regard to teaching style is that you have to have your own and it has to fit your personality. At the end of my teaching career about 2 years ago, I was working as a permanent sub so I was in different classes every day and I had a few long-term assignments. I would try my best to imitate the way I saw the regular teacher do things, but when it would be "my turn" it would never work the same way. I would try to be the same "strict-no-nonsense" teacher, but it wasn't natural for me and I couldn't control the class. So I tried going for a more humor-rolling-with-the-punches style, and once I showed the boys that I can be a "fun" teacher the boys gave me more respect and I actually got some teaching done.

amother

Scarlet ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 11:30 am

What is it about teaching that you always wanted? Shaping young lives? Transmitting information? A flexible schedule? Focus on that one thing and find another job that gives you what you really want. Not everyone is meant to be a classroom teacher. You can drive yourself crazy trying to get it right, or you can find another way to follow your passion.

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 11:34 am

amother wrote:

Both shaping young lives and transmitting information. I would like to stay in an education-related field. Like writing curriculum materials. Or working for an organization that helps schools. Haven't managed to land a job in either of those :-(

seeker

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 12:20 pm

Hugs, OP. I think teaching takes a specific, large set of skills and strengths - many of which can be learned and improved but if they're not innate then the cost of trying to learn them may just be impossible. It's so wrenching to realize that the thing you always thought you would do is just not working out. I hope you will be able to accept yourself and move on. Do you want to talk about what you've tried since then, maybe someone here will have other ideas or connections to help you launch your next step?

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 12:27 pm

seeker wrote:

Thank you Seeker. I think I am coming to terms with the fact that it just wasn't meant to be. It still rankles though when people say, well you need structure, consistency, don't be too nice, etc, and I DID all that in several different ways and it didn't work. My job search hasn't been going well, so I've been particularly cranky. If anyone has connections in curriculum/educational publishing fields, that would be helpful. Can be secular or Judaic, I taught both. Also, organizations. Like the OU, or UJA or any others you might know of that have divisions that help schools (can be a non Jewish org too, I'm just not as familiar with those).

watergirl ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 12:27 pm

OP - while its true that college and a teacher‘s certification does not make one a great teacher, there’s something about your post that’s making me wonder if you went to school to become a teacher? Do you ever do student teaching? Take classes in formal lesson planning and classroom management? These are things that you actually cannot learn from books. If I am way off the mark, forgive me. If I am not off the mark, why don’t you consider going to school to become a teacher?

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 12:31 pm

watergirl wrote:

Went to a CUNY graduate teaching program, plus MA in my subject area, student taught in public school (struggled there too, if I'm being honest, but passed and got my certification in New York State. I only taught in yeshivas after that. I thought yeshivas might mean better behaved kids. Guess I thought wrong).

wife2

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 12:40 pm

Even knowing all the tips and tricks out there, students can sense from a teacher's personality and overall presence if the teacher has control or not. While you can always give consequences or positive reinforcement, sometimes a quieter personality or less confident presence will be a constant struggle for you. Classroom management or any management is something that can be taught but some people inherently don't have it. There are parents who need to learn discipline and implement it. Some parents it's natural and they just have a knack for it. Don't feel bad that your personality is different and that it was more something you had to work at than it was natural. Teaching is hard work and not everyone can do it. Is there a small school that would only have about 15 or less kids in the class that you could try working in? Sometimes it's really about if students like the teacher as an authority figure and not an equal and likability is a bigger factor than any motivator or consequence.

Did you have to stick to a strict curriculum or were you able to make things fun and do your own things?

amother

Crimson

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 12:45 pm

My daughter had the same issue even though she was very bright and people thought shed make a great teacher, very caring. But she decided not to keep trying.

Then someone told us it takes a long time to work your way to a comfort level. I was told that the famous Miss Einhorn, formerly of Machon, had a few very rough years where she thought teaching wasnt for her, because she couldnt control, but she stuck it out and ended up controlling very well.

amother

↑ Scarlet

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 12:52 pm

amother wrote:

Are you a good writer? Could you blog or write a magazine column geared at teens? Are you a great organizer? Some schools have an administrator who's as much of a role model as any teacher.

I hate the phrase "thinking outside the box" but it might apply here.

↑ watergirl

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 1:02 pm

amother wrote:

My apologies for totally misreading you. Would you consider 1:1 work? Reading specialist, for example?

amother

↑ Maroon ↓

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 1:28 pm

amother wrote:

Yes, I do write. I currently freelance, it's not very consistent. I have applied to various communications jobs (that was my BA). I have also looked into administrative roles at schools- like admissions or fundraising and such. I'd also be interested in college or Israel guidance.

amother

↑ Maroon

Wed, Nov 15 2017, 1:35 pm

watergirl wrote:

My apologies for totally misreading you. Would you consider 1:1 work? Reading specialist, for example?

I think at this point I'm looking to move away from working directly with kids.