do you feel like you're doing same thing over and over agian

amother ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:30 am

I'm a stay at home mom.
every day when my kids go out (and one stays home) I am doing the same house work day in and day out, the beds, toys, pjs etc. then the laundry and cooking etc. then the kids come home and mess everything up, I play with them... dinner, bath and bed... then start again with the cleaning, dishes, vacume(most of house is carpet)
it can drive me nuts, I'm so borred of the same thing over and over and over agian.
I don't feel movitated, I would rather just forget about the house and do what I enjoy doing...(off caurse that is an imposibility since I don't want to live in a mess) I find time for Imamother, as you see, but that doesn't make me feel motivated or accomplished in any way, it only makes me feel like a yenta Confused

sorry about being anonymous, I'm feeling embarrassed about my situation.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:34 am

I dont have any advice for you, but I totally could have written this post, I am totally getting burnt out with doing the same thing over and over again. it seems like a never ending cycle. There is never a day when I can go to bed feeling like e/thing is complete, because the next day the cycle starts over again.

miriam ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:37 am

Do something FUN while you are cleaning. I listen to books on tape or anything, get creative. Listen to something enjoyable that takes you mind of the job!!! And remember, there are a bunch of women working at the same time as you!!!

chocolate moose ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:37 am

There's nothing wrong with what you do, and how you feel about it!

Can you make enough dinner for two nights at once so you can go out, if that's what you want to do, to break it up a little? Do you like to visit friends, go to the library or the park?

anuta ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:44 am

How old are your older kids? Maybe you should assign them chores, for example their toys/pjs/make the bed in the morning/help clean the dishes after dinner. Find shortcuts, for example don't clean their toys in the morning, clean together with them before they go to bed.
I am a working mom. I use a lot of paper dishes/plastic utensils. I clean the house very rarely and in parts. I have no help and my husband is not neat at all, and my kids are too young to really help. I really admire clean homes, I grew up in an obsessively orderly one, and the state of my house constantly depresses me. So I admire you.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:48 am

op here,

thanks for your quick replies, it feels good to know ppl understand.

miriam, what are books on tapes and where do you get them? sounds interesting.

and choclate, I make sometimes dinner for two days, but it doesn't give me that much free time to drive down to a park or library or anything and be back in time for the kids when they get home. (they get home pretty early... ) it gives me time to get to those jobs that I push off, like taking care of mending, pictures, organizing a closet... all house stuff AGAIN

↑ amother ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:54 am

another amother who could've written the same post!

there's a quote "cleaning before your children grow up is like shoveling snow before it stops falling!"

no advice, but hugs and I know *exactly* how you feel!!!!!!!

Helani

Mon, May 14 2007, 9:58 am

How abt using mornings for housework, but when kids get home do something fun with them? Pack dinner (cold chicken, cut up veggies, fruit)-and head out to the park or zoo or library or anywhere else you enjoy that's kids friendly. visit friends with kids (they get a playdate, you get some socializing). The bonus is that since they are out of the house, what you accomplished in the morning doesn't get messed up.

btMOMtoFFBs

Mon, May 14 2007, 10:01 am

OP, This is a common housewife dilemma.

I just heard Rebbetzin Tehila Jaeger give over something about how these acts of mundane cleaning are infused with kedusha. B/c the goal of doing this is to have a healthy, clean, cared-for home and family there is tremendous kedusha in the process and not just in the outcome (the clean kitchen or baked challah).

She compared it to the medrash about gan eden that says "taam ha etz k'taam he pri" - the taste of the wood was the same as the taste of the fruits. In gan eden the bark and wood of the trees was as sweet as the fruit itself. This teaches us that the reward for the process of creating or doing something is as much as the reward for the final outcome.

Think about this when you are washing the upteenth dish - (even b'simcha if possible!) that you're getting a TON of schar.

Doesn't make it less boring, but at least it feels more rewarding.

greenfire

Mon, May 14 2007, 11:45 am

amother wrote:

"cleaning before your children grow up is like shoveling snow before it stops falling!"

okay now where to hang that sign ... I do not like to shovel ... nor do I like to clean ... perfect for me rotfl Rolling Laughter

cindy324

Mon, May 14 2007, 11:52 am

I know exactly how you feel. I clean up, put away all the clothes that were thrown on the floor, all the toys and stuff cluttering the floor, than they come home and it's destroyed ! I get so frustrated sometimes, like don't they care that it was so neat when they walked in???If I don't keep at it, it all just blows up and I have a wreck to clean up. It never ends!

zigi

Mon, May 14 2007, 12:23 pm

I was just thinking about this! cindy I totally agree it only stays clean for 2 seconds! also if I clean one room another room gets trashed. Exploding anger

↑ amother ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 12:51 pm

I used to be the world's biggest perfectionist. My house glistened. I did it for years. I enjoyed it. Then I got so burnt out that now I can't stand to do housework anymore. I have a housekeeper who comes in very frequently and I let her do the mundane work. I know this is not possible for everybody, financially, but for me it was my bread and water.
No great advice, except that if you can, let a housekeeper do it! The difference when a child spills a cup of sticky juice onto a newly washed floor when you washed it versus a cleaning woman, is the difference between a mother who can smile when that spill happens, or one who just left her 'koychos' on that kitchen floor, only to see it sticky five minutes later.
If outside help is not an option, then I hope my hugs can alleviate your boredom. (((())))))

mimivan

Mon, May 14 2007, 3:28 pm

Maybe it would be easier if your kids learned to pick up after themselves. You could explain to them how you feel about the house and then create an awards system (chart, etc..) for the kids who clean their own plates or pick up their toys. B'h my 3 year old puts his toys away and he feels very proud of himself.

Is it possible to go to a shiur once a week? Or do something that will get you out of the house? Do you have artistic abilities? Maybe you could cultivate these...it may give you a feeling of accomplishment.

↑ amother ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 4:16 pm

I totally understand you. What I do is just do the bare minimum....clean what really needs to be done...but I have stopped picking up the toys off the floor all the time, because it's pointless. When kids are in school or sleeping, I do enjoyable things like go to the gym or the mall or take a nap with the baby. When I do the boring stuff, like folding laundry or washing dishes I do it while talking on the phone. And cooking...I'll cook meals that take half an hour or less to prepare or we'll get take-out. We have a cleaner who comes once a week to wash floors and bathrooms. Reading what I just wrote, I sound like I'm lazy but at the end of the day I like to be human and I think it makes me a more patient mother when I don't put too much effort into everything else.

momto4 ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 4:18 pm

oh my gosh! u sound just like me! I am also a stay at home mom. 2 of my kids are home by 1:00 and the other 2 are home around 4:00. putting on music definately helps. this way its not as boring and frusturating. I also talk on the phone to people so its not as tedious. beleive me there are some days when I say to myself, whats the point of all this and I WILL ignore the mess but I dont recommend that too often cuz although youll feel good at that moment doing nothing IT WILL catch up to you.
also just a fun tip, now that its nice weather I sometimes give my kids supper in the backyard like a picninc. the kids love it and theres no mess to clean up! good luck!

↑ momto4

Mon, May 14 2007, 5:04 pm

I just remembered a few more things that help me. first of all I dont know abour u but I do not do laundry every day. I do it every other day or so. this way I dont have a huge amoubt of clothing to fold and put it away. its not so overwhelming. my kids eat supper earlier than me and my husband so I usually have 2 sets of supper dishes to wash. now dont tell anyone but I sometimes leave dishes in the sink overnight! my play room can get very messy at times. lucky for me its in the basement so its pretty well hidden. I dont always have my toys in their organized containers. I sometimes just push them to the side so the floor is clear. I know some of u may think my house sounds messy but itreally isnt. my main floor is ALWAYS clean and free of clutter. dont feel like u have to do everything everyday! when u r in the mood to do more then u will. in the meantime give yourself a break every once in awhile.

↑ miriam ↓

Mon, May 14 2007, 5:25 pm

amother wrote:

miriam, what are books on tapes and where do you get them? sounds interesting.

Authors of books make audiotapes with their story recorded on it. They have them at public libraries. We also check them out when we go on long car trips.