What's a reasonable lunch for the cleaning lady?

sourstix

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:08 pm

[quote="amother"]I don't provide any food for my cleaning lady. She brings coffee. I leave at 6:30 in the morning and get home after 6. My husband leaves around 7. Nobody is there to make food. I absolutely value her and she is free to take any of the pre-packaged food or fruit I have out. I tell her that regularly.[/quote]

what do you suppose she eats? can it be she uses your pots to cook her trief food? I have heard of such stories. rav mosh e feinstein told someone who asked about leaving non jewish people in home alone and he said not to trust them. there should be someone coming and going all the time. I never leave them alone for more then probably 2 minutes. but I dont use them anymore so thats not happening. but if I would I would stop doing that. they mix the milchig and fleishig in no time. they dont understand the concept and just dont get it.

↑ wantavaca

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:13 pm

I ask my cleaning lady what she wants from the grocery before I send out my order. I would never cook for her but I try to buy her what she likes. she asks for tortilla chips, salsa, and instant soups. SOmetimes when im out ill also bring her a muffin or salad that I know she likes as a show of appreciation.
she knows she can make herself whatever she wants anytime. I dont prepare any food for her. I very much respect her but she gets paid to make my life easier not harder.

gold21

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:25 pm

I usually forget to eat lunch until late afternoon- I usually nibble and snack my way through the day until supper. Hot lunch? Haha. Maybe a hot cocoa.

My cleaning lady has similar eating habits to me. She snacks in my house but doesn't eat a sit-down meal. Works for me.

amother

↑ Pumpkin

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:49 pm

amother wrote:

I don't provide any food for my cleaning lady. She brings coffee. I leave at 6:30 in the morning and get home after 6. My husband leaves around 7. Nobody is there to make food. I absolutely value her and she is free to take any of the pre-packaged food or fruit I have out. I tell her that regularly.

For this reason I leave her a prepared plate in the fridge, for her to heat up in the microwave when she is ready to eat. I prepare it the night before, before I put dinner away. I always give her leftovers from the night before, make an extra portion for this reason. If there's not enough, or I had made something special and expensive protein, then I'll substitute the protein with an omelet, but this rarely happens.

amother

↑ Natural

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 12:18 am

amother wrote:

Cater to the cleaning lady? You must not have a busy life. What are you going to do if she wants a 3 course fresh meal? Or if she rabbis you to go out for pizza? They usually eat different types of food than the bosses. Are you going to cook their style also?

n/o said anything about catering to her. or offering her a 3 course meal!
I don't understand this attitude of treating your help like cr@p. imagine you were in the position where you were cleaning s/o's house scrubbing their floors, and toilets and doing who knows what else for 2, 3, 4, 6 whatever number of hours at a time. who cares why you're doing it- you're not intelligent enough for another job, you don't have a visa, it pays better than minimum wage etc. fact is you're there. would you not want to eat. and YOU are home. you said you're busy. it's not like you're out of the house. you're there. figure s/t out. either give her a 1/2 hr lunch break where she can go out and buy herself s/t to eat or try to come up w/ a meal that's a bit more filling. a salad and sandwich is not that much food. just ask what would work better for her. n/o said buy her a steak or some other crazy expensive food. how much does one chicken bottom cost? $2 $3. how hard is it to throw it in the oven w/ spices? I don't know. but your attitude that she's the help and she's here for me and why should I do anything to make her life easier is bs. you still need to have hakaras hatov for people who help you-even if you're paying them!!!!!

↑ tichellady

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 12:54 am

EmesOrNT wrote:

How is not serving multi course meals man you're treating your help like cr@p?

Some people.

Unless you are joking, I think you have communication issues. No one is saying you need to feed your help multi course meals, we are saying that you should talk to her about what you can do to improve the lunch situation. You can say " I don't have time to cook for you so either you can a. Bring your own food b. Go out for lunch c. Tell me what I can buy for you to have in the house". We are saying that you should have an actual conversation instead of assuming the worst and calling the person who you depend on and who probably does not make a living wage greedy and unreasonable.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 1:43 am

I don't give my cleaning lady lunch, but she's only in my home for one morning a week. If she was here for a full day then I would feed her.

My grandfather needs full time help. He switches off going to his children for shabbosim and his aide come along. My mother always offers the aides whatever we're eating from the shabbos table. They usually prefer to eat in the kitchen and read the paper or go on their phones. They might not eat as many courses as we do, but that's not because they're not offered.

I think in the OP's case that she certainly doesn't need to cook an extra meal for her cleaning lady. However, I think she should have a conversation with her to give her options of what she is willing to provide.

As for the amother who is upset that her cleaning lady was still around at dinnertime, why didn't you ask her to leave? Maybe it's time to set some ground rules about what your expectations are.

↑ Raisin ↓

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 6:00 am

Practical suggestion to the OP - if your cleaning lady is not happy with the provided lunch, ask her what she would like, buy the ingredients, and have her cook it.

Stocking up on ready to eat foods is a great idea. Pizza, knishes, blintzes, soups, veggie burgers, hot dogs, etc. She can take what she likes and heat it up.

↑ octopus

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 6:42 am

Raisin wrote:

Why is this a practical suggestion? You cook in my house and you're fired. Be it a cleaning lady, babysitter, or any other worker in my house. I think that's a slippery slope, especially for kashrus concerns! Even if you buy all the ingredients, whose to say she won't slip in a treif ingredient! Or mix something up!

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 8:37 am

tichellady wrote:

OP's cleaning lady wants a multi course lunch. Asking her what she wants for lunch raises the expectation you will provide it for her.

No one ever called the cleaning ladies greedy but it is human nature that if you can get better that you will take it. It then becomes part of the expectation of the employment situation. If you were asked what you wanted for lunch, who wouldn't state their preferences? It is also human nature to want to maximize your pay.

In my case, I have a microwave and a separate toilet set up for the help in a workshop area. My lady doesn't avail herself of the microwave and she uses the main toilet off the living area even after it has been cleaned for the day. Her sister, who she lives with, happens to deliver meals in the neighborhood to the Spanish workers. She rather eat my food because it is free. There is no take out around and she doesn't have a car.

↑ Raisin ↓

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 8:49 am

octopus wrote:

obviously this only works if the op is around to supervise.

to avoid kashrus concerns, only get pareve stuff.

↑ Raisin ↓

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 8:54 am

wow. separate toilets? Not allowing the cleaning lady to eat at the same table? did I just fall through a time warp into 1900?

Although I do agree that we hire cleaning ladies to make our lives easier. I would not be interested in preparing a hot lunch for my help either.

↑ morah ↓

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 8:58 am

sequoia wrote:

I don't expect my clients to feed me, but offering tea and snacks goes a long way to keeping a tutor happy and working her best Smile

A cleaning lady, who is there for many hours, deserves a proper lunch.

I also tutor. I am usually offered a drink, which is always nice. I agree that a cleaning lady needs a proper lunch. The lunch described by op seems perfectly proper, if you ask me. Suggestions that she start preparing extra meals or buy foods that she otherwise wouldn't buy just to cater to this are out of line, IMO. It's one thing if the cleaning lady said I prefer a tuna sandwich to an egg salad sandwich. To insist on fresh hot food is not reasonable.

Last edited by morah on Wed, Oct 28 2015, 8:59 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 8:58 am

amother wrote:

As for the amother who is upset that her cleaning lady was still around at dinnertime, why didn't you ask her to leave? Maybe it's time to set some ground rules about what your expectations are.

DH hires the help and directs them. She told DH she was leaving at 5:30. I expected to return to an empty house. I was texting him to tell him I was uncomfortable returning to her still there. He agreed that it is uncomfortable with her there while we eat.

The problem is DH is often not around. He agreed he needs to set up a schedule for the help. I discussed with him having her out of there by 5:30 latest. We shall see if he does it.

My lady texted DH at work this morning when I didn't answer the side door. I told her that she should have rung the front door bell.

↑ morah

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 9:27 am

newmom1987 wrote:

I think you're all crazy and this comes from the ridiculous notion that a counter top can be kosher. No microwaving, fine, but you can't let her bring her own sandwich? Treif doesn't have cooties. Oh no, the dirt on her shoes might have pork in it!!

It's not so simple. There are many rabbeim who hold that you can't let her bring her own food if you're not going to be home. Even if you are home, there are some caveats. It's easier for many to just have something available for the taking. It's unclear if the op is home while her help is there, but many people (such as myself) are not home for most of the time the cleaning lady is there.

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 9:30 am

Raisin wrote:

A few weeks ago my cleaning lady left either feces or blood on my freshly cleaned toilet seat. Yes, she was ill, but I was totally disgusted. Why turn the main bathroom into a public restroom when there is a perfectly acceptable alternative? Do you let everyone use the master bathroom if you have one? The concept of clean private toilets is not unique.

mommyla

Wed, Oct 28 2015, 9:31 am

Raisin wrote:

The Help, anyone?

My cleaning lady doesn't come to me at lunchtime, but I always ask her if she's had lunch and on the rare occasions that she hasn't, I'll give her a sandwich or some macaroni and cheese if she'd like. She's always welcome to cake, cookies, and drinks, and in the summer I'll usually offer her a popsicle or ice cream and sometimes send snacks home with her for her and her family. She is very grateful.

I would not cater to a cleaning lady who wants a hot lunch! Even I don't eat a hot lunch. If I did I'd make some for her too.

She only comes for a few hours a week, but I want to keep her happy.