What's a reasonable lunch for the cleaning lady?

amother

Natural ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 5:21 am

she's a person.
why not just ask her what she'd like to eat? mention that it doesn't seem like salad and a sandwich are enough for her. tell her you're not avail to cook her a full lunch but you can either buy her prepared foods that can be heated up (instant soup/ready made frozen meal) or you can make her more of whatever you're already making.
try to work s/t out together.
yes she's working for you. but she's also working very hard- doing something that you can't/don't want to do. treat her like a mentsch

Imogen

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 7:44 am

When my cleaning ladycame full time we give her a couple of sandwiches and a big flask of hot soup.The soup is just osem or knorr soup sachets /power with some leftover rice and beans, or frozen peas etc thrown in and a teaspoon of cream or yogurt, she always says it tastes homemade to her! Whole thing took me 5 mins.

Perhaps in Uk we are not as generous as our US cousins with help and food, I know some friends dont even offer the cleaner a cup of tea!

hotmom

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:54 am

amother wrote:

I always prepare a good, full sandwich and a hearty salad, which is a typical lunch for myself as well. She also usually helps herself to fruit and yogurt. She's been complaining that it's not enough and she expects a hot, multi course lunch. This is not really doable for me and I think she's being out of line. If I'm going to have to patchke lunch the way I have to patchke dinner for the kids, then I'm not being helped, and frankly, I hire help for a reason. Am I wrong here? Is she out of line, should I be providing the kind of lunch she's asking for?

Does she think your home is a hotel?

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 12:19 pm

amother wrote:

Cater to the cleaning lady? You must not have a busy life. What are you going to do if she wants a 3 course fresh meal? Or if she rabbis you to go out for pizza? They usually eat different types of food than the bosses. Are you going to cook their style also?

↑ MagentaYenta ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 12:25 pm

amother wrote:

I really don't understand your attitude towards this person. Communicating directly with others, even our employees is just a simple matter of clarifying issues and coming to an adult agreement and decision.

I commented earlier that I noted a some bitterness in your post but now it's quite evident to me that these are issues you don't want to resolve in an adult manner.

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 2:15 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

The adult manner is she is not a guest, nor is she family. She is a worker who is there to lighten my load. Asking her what she wants to eat is stupid unless you are willing to bend over backwards and provide her with what she wants. I am not there to cater to the help. It is the opposite. She is there for me. I need to get things done.

You don't have a proper understanding of employee/employer relations. If you don't set boundaries they will walk all over you.

↑ MagentaYenta

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 2:20 pm

amother wrote:

And yet you refuse to address the issue with her. She is a human and deserving of such. It sounds like you have an authoritarian attitude towards your employee. Boundaries can be set by communicating. I've made it a point to discuss meal arrangements with my household help. It's not difficult for adults to come to an understanding.

Enjoy your whine. I hope this individual finds a new job where she is respected as a person and not just a functionary you pay to clean your toilets.

↑ tichellady ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 2:29 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

I totally agree with this! Obviously you don't need to go out of your way to feed her but since you are not letting her bring her own food you need to provide her with food she likes or give her a break to go eat out. You need to communicate with her. I bet if you spoke to her like an adult a lot of these issues would resolve themselves.

amother

↑ Pumpkin ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 2:36 pm

I wouldn't be surprised if what she wants is rice and beans.
This may sound stereotypical of me, but I come from a Latin home and my parents, till today, have rice and some type of legume EVERY night. They've been in the US for almost 60 years.
If you really like her, want to keep her happy, I would make a big pot of rice and beans, put them in ziplock baggies and freeze the portions. Defrost the night before, heat and serve when she's ready to eat.
If you are having trouble with her, shleping out the work, demanding more food, I think it's time to find yourself someone new.
It's your choice, but the hot meal situation can really be easy, if you really like her.
If you are going to hire someone new, I would suggest you hire her by the day, not the hour, with a list of tasks that you want her to do for the day. She gets the same pay wether it takes her 5 hours or 10.

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 3:38 pm

I don't provide any food for my cleaning lady. She brings coffee. I leave at 6:30 in the morning and get home after 6. My husband leaves around 7. Nobody is there to make food. I absolutely value her and she is free to take any of the pre-packaged food or fruit I have out. I tell her that regularly.

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 6:27 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

My cleaning lady loves me, yet I have an authoritarian attitude about boundaries. She may not sit together with me. One or the other of us may be seated. She is comfortable with boundaries as I am. She is not my friend. I am warm to her and know about her family. I held her position for her when she was ill. She would work more hours for me so I must be doing something right. She is not Hazel and can't interfere in my conversations.

Catering to the cleaning lady like she is a guest is foolish. Having a conversation about her food preferences is foolish when I have no intention of cooking for her. I cook 3 different meals a day plus breakfast. I am not going to add a fourth major meal. I am already in the kitchen way too much. I don't want to be tied to my house anymore than I am. I was irritated she stayed too long yesterday because she told me she was leaving at 5:30. I was, looking forward to some time alone with my family.

I would rather she comes more days then be here in the evenings.

EmesOrNT ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 7:27 pm

This is so bizarre.

Sorry, I don't ask my help what they want to eat. If they don't want a frozen pizza or a peanut butter sandwich with fruit and yogurt, they can bring whatever and eat it outside. I won't invite my help to join the supper table. I won't offer them food like ribs, or fish. That's my food, and chanced are, if I was cleaning her house I wouldn't be offered her food.

Also, some of you have a hard time understanding the definition of 'help'. They are people, obviously. People I hire to scrub my toilets. Period.

sequoia ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 7:46 pm

As a tutor, I have had my share of lying, cheating, and bad attitudes from employers. It sucks.

Please remember that the people working for you are human beings. Just because you're hiring them and not the other way around doesn't mean you're above them in some way.

Sake

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 8:11 pm

Such an interesting thread! ... It triggers the vivid memory of the day my father found out the cleaning woman was eating lunch at the table with us (mom and girls) she was down one spot so at the table but not with us. He was shocked and upset but said that explained the slip in cleaning. He gave clear instruction that she was to eat the same lunch as us but in her place in the kitchen. Funnily enough, as anxious as my mother was to break the news, the lady was very relaxed as if she new we had been breaking the "rule". Out Lunch was a plate of meat or cheese, rolls, maybe soup and some fruit or a salad. Occasionally leftovers.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 8:49 pm

Sake wrote:

Your fathers attitude is seriously disturbing.

I don't what else to say.

morah ↓

Tue, Oct 27 2015, 8:52 pm

sequoia wrote:

The difference is a) I assume you don't expect your clients to feed you and b) people hire tutors for very different reasons than they hire cleaning help. The whole point of hiring cleaning help is to make your life easier. If it's making your life harder, then it's not worth continuing (at least not with that particular cleaner). Treating employees with dignity and respect is not synonymous with bending over backwards to accommodate unreasonable requests. The op and the other poster are feeding their help, as they should if they're there all day. It doesn't mean that the op is now obligated to spend time and energy preparing meals she would not have otherwise made at all or that Lawngreen amother has to buy enough ribs for family plus cleaning lady. To object to such absurdity does not mean they treat their help poorly or disrespectfully.