is everyone really a size 2

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 8:20 am

malkacooks wrote:

I think the bottom line is the pendulum swings both ways, there are pp that will say a small size 2 is not healthy or normal and those that try to justify it. And then there are those that will say a size 12+ is not healthy or normal and try to justify that too. My husband's grandmother (who was overweight) used to always mock skinny women saying they should eat a little more cake etc. and bemoan the fact that why dont women look healthy anymore like when she grew up. But honestly no one told her to her face that she was never "healthy" and heath wise she could loose 40 or so pounds herself....

I have a friend like that too. In my head I call her the saboteur, b\c I always feel like she's trying to fatten me up to make herself feel better. She used to be so thin but after 4 kids she's huge

↑ debsey ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 8:43 am

compare this:

amother wrote:

This thread is beginning to feel insulting. I am no "hot chani," I hate NY, and my dh and I are total nerds. I wouldn't even know what a fashion trend is if it hit me in the face.

I am a size 0/2. And pregnancy didn't change it. There is nothing 'wrong' with me. Just as there is nothing 'wrong' with any other size. As long as you are healthy and happy, don't judge me. I certainly don't judge anyone for their size. Nor do I even care what size you are.

Can't we just live and let live in regards to the size of other people's waists?

To this:

amother wrote:

When I was shopping for my size 14 Shabbos top, the super skinny single sister and her married sister were also trying on clothes. The single must have told her sister 4 times "You're stomach is so flat, no one will ever believe you are a mother" in an overloud, obnoxious voice. Took all my self control not to ball up the shirt I was trying on(that looked really awful on me btw) and stuff it into her very large mouth.

to the first "amother" - people like you have a right to be offended by this thread, because you're not one of those women who use her size to make others feel bad. Look at the comment I quoted after you. I've been in my share of dressing rooms like that, where a woman is loudly drawing attention to her flat stomach and size 2-ness, simply to show off.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 9:06 am

Bottom line -- we really all love each other!! As long as you are a nice person, of course your size doesn't matter to others.

I am one of those who always seems to struggle with the extra 10 lbs. B"H I am not obese but unfortunately my life is a little harder since I am slightly overweight. My dh is not happy about it and lets me know. I dont fit into clothing well (I am short and a little overweight) and when you dont look good, you dont feel good about yourself. So, while I love all naturally thin people I sometimes wonder if my life would be easier if I could be one of them.

That's all .... no hard feelings, just speculating what life would be like without the weight loss struggle. Believe me, I know that everyone has their own struggles in life.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 9:17 am

debsey wrote:

compare this:
to the first "amother" - people like you have a right to be offended by this thread, because you're not one of those women who use her size to make others feel bad. Look at the comment I quoted after you. I've been in my share of dressing rooms like that, where a woman is loudly drawing attention to her flat stomach and size 2-ness, simply to show off.

Yah, wow, that's disgusting.

Size isn't a good or bad thing, just a fact of life. I honestly just don't understand this whole obsession with looks.

↑ ora_43

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 10:27 am

rachel91 wrote:

So why is america obsessed with size 2?
Europe has plenty skinny ladies, no one ever talks about a size 32...maybe the sizes are different? Bigger in the US?

Three reasons:

1. America isn't obsessed with size 2. This is solely an imamother thing. I have literally never heard of this anywhere else.

2. Europeans are, on average, a bit taller than Americans. And there are ethnic minority groups in America that, on average, tend to have slightly smaller clothes than the average American - let alone the average European. IOW, America has more short people.

3. In my experience, "vanity sizing" is more extreme in America. I don't know if that's true now - it's been ages since I was in Europe - but when I was in Europe, clothing sizes seemed a bit more consistent (re: American clothes, I've dropped 4-6 clothing sizes over the years while gaining 10 pounds).

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 10:30 am

Before I became frum, I never thought about what size I was. It was considered cool to be a 10, so I use to buy size 10 and tailor it to a 0 or 2 to fit me, then show off the 10 tag!!! There were some anorexic people, but that wasn't the attitude I encountered. Everyone did get nose jobs, veneers, and other work later on in life though.

Scrabble123

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 10:44 am

dancingqueen wrote:

Shouldn't the rules of tznius put less of a focus on a woman's dress size? Or is this a direct result of the shidduch system where prospective mother in law can be informed of the exact dress size of her daughter in law? This seems a bit obsessive.

I actually believe that distorted hashkafas of tznius and halachos kashrus really create a "wonderful foundation" for a girl to obsess over her size/weight and/or to develop an eating disorder. I'm not saying that Hollywood does not, but I believe that the restrictions allow for someone to create their own idea of more restrictions. You would be surprised how many frum men have severe eating disorders because they do not want to eat food, for they perceive it as giving into to one's tayvas. I had a professor who was pretty into the above concept, which really opened my eyes to it, but it seems to ring true to what I have personally witnessed. You may feel differently, and that is fine, just please do not twist around my words or become outraged.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 10:56 am

You know what drives me nuts? It's totally acceptable to bash skinny women, you can call size 2 a condition, judge all skinny women as being judgmental about overweight women, bash their eating habbits... but that's okay because skiiny people as a whole are obnoxious, right?

But if I were to say overweight women have a condition, are lazy, and don't have any self control..... wow I'd be in trouble.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 10:58 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

I have something to add in a similar vein. I try to be tznius as much as I can, but some parts of myself are just not skinny and always stick out in an untznius manner. If I was J.Lo it would be great, but I'm a frum woman and feel like I can't dress to flatter my body otherwise I will look very untznius. Therefore I sometimes feel like curves, although womanly, is something much harder to deal with when trying to be tznius. So in a way, yes, being frum makes me a little unhappy with my body.

↑ debsey ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 11:05 am

amother wrote:

This is SO true! I once was working in a school with a girl who had repeated tznius violations - and she said "well, if I was pretty and skinny like....and she named a few girls - I would be able to wear the kind of clothes they wear. But these are the only clothes that look good on me"
Aside from the obvious work we needed to do on her self-esteem, she actually had a good point. She DID look dramatically better in the clothes that didn't conform to the dress code!
I think those of us who have this issue just have to get extra schar for this!

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 11:12 am

amother wrote:

it's been said before. neither is right. clothes size has no bearing on a person's personality (unless they let it) and, this is an important one, it doesn't even necessarily reflect their eating and lifestyle habits.

↑ dancingqueen

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 11:42 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

I agree actually. I was being rhetorical about tzniut, but I do think unfortunately often between the shidduch system and tzniut cause a woman's looks to become overemphasized in our culture.

I am not familiar with the Frum men with these eating disorders you mentioned. I more see the opposite- a lot become overweight. It is funny at events you see a wife nibbling on carrots and the husband with a heaping plate.

↑ Barbara ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 11:54 am

amother wrote:

I haven't seen the bashing.

Sure, there are people who have really amazing metabolisms who can eat a lot of high-calorie food without gaining weight. But that's rare. Ob the bagel comment, given the size inflation of bagels, a plain bagel with cream cheese is about 500 calories, out of, what, 1200 to 1600 calories a day for most people to maintain that weight for a size 2. Most people who eat a 500 calorie breakfast on a regular basis would not be a size 2. Then again, why would anyone think that's a particularly healthful breakfast? Or that one can't eat something occasionally, not always? Or that its bashing to say "most slender people don't regularly eat bagels." They don't regularly eat whole pints of Ben & Jerry's, either. And that's GOOD, not bashing.

If you're a size 2 and eating as much as you want, then your appetite is probably not tremendous. Nothing wrong with that. And its not bashing to say it. I wish it were true of me.

Or you are careful about what you eat. You use portion control and try to eat healthfully. We all should. Its not bashing to say it.

What I do bash is holding up unnatural bodies as desirable. Someone was talking about 19 inch waists. I'm certain that they do happen on occasion. But for most women, absent anorexia or surgery, its not going to happen. So why is it such an ideal? And 19 inch hips? I don't think its physically possible.

freidasima

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 12:04 pm

I've read some of the responses and I really don't get much of this. I sew my own clothes mostly and so I have no idea what sizes are today.

But.... Once upon a time when I was a teenager in America in the early 1970s I was the same height as now, five foot two, I weighed somewhat less than now (then 112 - 117 lbs, today 123-127 lbs) and THEN I was a size...10 and later a 12.

What the heck I would be today, some 10 lbs more, I have no idea, but certainly not a size 2....so what exactly IS a size 2? Heck, even today I'm considered a normal size, pretty slim and fit, normal BMI, normal looks, etc. not fat, not thin, just normal, which for a woman of my age is ok. So will someone please explain to me what this "size 2" is, and how much I would have to weigh at five two in order to be a "size 2"?