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-> Parenting our children
-> Twins, Triplets, and more
amother
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Mon, May 07 2012, 9:32 am
Upon the advice of some of you's, I bought the book, Raising Twins. Really enjoying it so far.. and I wanted to discuss a few things that I read there. chime in if you have advice or just a comment to add
* She talks about getting both kids on one schedule as early as the first week after birth. I.e. waking up the sleeping twin if its time for a feeding even though s/he is sleeping so cute and comfy. Do you or did you really do that? in theory it might make sense but does a mother really have the heart to interrupt her babie's sleep? I've heard the theory, as long as s/he is sleeping, let it sleep but perhaps when dealing with twins its different?
* She talks about breastfeeding both twins at one time. sounds nice! is it something doable? Is it very difficult? or only in the beginning and it will get easier? Is the twin feeding pillow a must?
Please share all your thoughts!!
Thanks!!
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alwaysbesimcha
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Mon, May 07 2012, 11:11 am
I found that waking one twin if the other woke first is easier. I don't fully wake him/her up just pick up and nurse. (If I didn't do that I would be woken twice within an hour.)
I nursed them both together but only found it possible with the twin nursing pillow and on a couch or bed. I didn't have a chair big enough for all 3 of us.
Good Luck!
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rac429
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Mon, May 07 2012, 11:21 am
In the hospital they had them an hour off and it was really difficult because I would spend the whole day there so that I could be there for as many feedings. Now that they are home they eat at the same time every 4 hours. At night I do not wake them because I am trying to get them to sleep through the night but I do get woken up more times then I would like cause one may go 7 hours while the other goes 5. ( they are about 10 weeks old now) The nursing didn't work out for me so I can't help in that regard although when I was nursing them I didn't do it at the same time. Good luck!
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ntm1
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Mon, May 07 2012, 11:24 am
I found it impossible to nurse them both at the same time- it was just too hard for me. But then again if you are all alone and youre in the middle of nursing 1 baby and the oher baby starts crying what's there to do? I fed both bottles!!! I put my babies in their car seats and would give each 1 a bottle.
ABout waking 1 baby up when the other wakes up is really the best thing to do although we didnt do that the first 3 months. If you are alone it is easier to feed 1 and then feed the other but if you have another person helping you it's easier to wake the sleeping child to feed them at the same time.... other wise all u will be doing for the first few months is feeding them.
At 3 months we started putting them on the same schedual.
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Fox
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Mon, May 07 2012, 11:40 am
I kept my twins in the same crib until they became too physically big, and that helped keep them on the same schedule -- when one awakened or cried, the other generally got in on the act.
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rac429
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Mon, May 07 2012, 11:42 am
Fox wrote: | I kept my twins in the same crib until they became too physically big, and that helped keep them on the same schedule -- when one awakened or cried, the other generally got in on the act. |
The hospital where I delivered was very against putting two kids in the same crib. We had to watch a video on sleep safety before they would discharge them so that wouldn't have worked for us.
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rainbow dash
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Mon, May 07 2012, 12:04 pm
I find it very helpful to have them on the same schedule cause then you can sleep when they sleep. you cant do that if one sleeps at one time and the other sleeps at another time. But I think it helped waking the other twin for a feeding if the other one was up. Nursing I was not able to do but would of loved to if they were my first but my ds was 5 and my dd was 3 so it would of been to hard for me cause yes they were in school but school is not on sat sun and holidays and like this other people were able to help me.
Are you getting help? where I am there is a yiddisha org. that sent me someone for 2 hrs in the morning and the gov. sent me someone for 2xs 4 hrs a wk. also if you have older kids, I had someone come in the afternoon to look after the babies so I could concentrate on the big kids.
Good luck
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amother
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Mon, May 07 2012, 12:10 pm
thanks all for your replies.
So I see most of yous do wake the sleeping twin when it's time for a feeding. That makes a lot of sense!! and say I end up bfing both (Bezras Hashem) it will hopefully work out and if I rotate bottle and bf, I guess I'll have someone give the other baby the bottle at the same time. I'll be at my parents house for the first few weeks iy'h so I'll have help. later on a bottle propper will do the job.
Another thing she writes in the book is to alternate breasts. Twin A gets left now, and next feeding it gets right. So a question from an amateur... If I bf both simultaneously, they each get one breast for the duration of the feeding, right? I dont switch in middle? and did you alternate baby and breasts? How did you keep track?
Thanks all!!! I have no one else to ask all these cuz no1 knows its twins!!!! and though I'm only in my 6th month, I gotta start preparing!!
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amother
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Mon, May 07 2012, 12:12 pm
rainbow dash wrote: | I find it very helpful to have them on the same schedule cause then you can sleep when they sleep. you cant do that if one sleeps at one time and the other sleeps at another time. But I think it helped waking the other twin for a feeding if the other one was up. Nursing I was not able to do but would of loved to if they were my first but my ds was 5 and my dd was 3 so it would of been to hard for me cause yes they were in school but school is not on sat sun and holidays and like this other people were able to help me.
Are you getting help? where I am there is a yiddisha org. that sent me someone for 2 hrs in the morning and the gov. sent me someone for 2xs 4 hrs a wk. also if you have older kids, I had someone come in the afternoon to look after the babies so I could concentrate on the big kids.
Good luck |
I'm not sure how I can afford an aide but I'd love to.. How'd u get a government aide?
And what org is that? did they send girls or women? I'm in Brooklyn.
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rainbow dash
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Mon, May 07 2012, 12:24 pm
amother wrote: | rainbow dash wrote: | I find it very helpful to have them on the same schedule cause then you can sleep when they sleep. you cant do that if one sleeps at one time and the other sleeps at another time. But I think it helped waking the other twin for a feeding if the other one was up. Nursing I was not able to do but would of loved to if they were my first but my ds was 5 and my dd was 3 so it would of been to hard for me cause yes they were in school but school is not on sat sun and holidays and like this other people were able to help me.
Are you getting help? where I am there is a yiddisha org. that sent me someone for 2 hrs in the morning and the gov. sent me someone for 2xs 4 hrs a wk. also if you have older kids, I had someone come in the afternoon to look after the babies so I could concentrate on the big kids.
Good luck |
I'm not sure how I can afford an aide but I'd love to.. How'd u get a government aide?
And what org is that? did they send girls or women? I'm in Brooklyn. |
Im in europe. The gov thing youll have to check by you but the org was bikkur chulim im sure you have something like that by you too. Also call the schools by you and see if they can send girls to you, by me it was tests time so they couldnt but I found someone who was newly married and I paid her a bit to come in the afternoons. also I got a night nurse for 100 euros a week from a lady here who brings them over from hungray or america.
Good luck, I have a sil in brooklyn maybe I can ask her if she knows of anyone who can help you.
Sorry I cant help you more. I know there is a org of ladies that made me dinner for I think 3 or 4 weeks.
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amother
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Mon, May 07 2012, 12:37 pm
[quote="rainbow dash]
Im in europe. The gov thing youll have to check by you but the org was bikkur chulim im sure you have something like that by you too. Also call the schools by you and see if they can send girls to you, by me it was tests time so they couldnt but I found someone who was newly married and I paid her a bit to come in the afternoons. also I got a night nurse for 100 euros a week from a lady here who brings them over from hungray or america.
Good luck, I have a sil in brooklyn maybe I can ask her if she knows of anyone who can help you.
Sorry I cant help you more. I know there is a org of ladies that made me dinner for I think 3 or 4 weeks.[/quote]
thanks, Rainbow Dash. I'm due in the summer iy'h so big girls won't really be around, they'll be in camp. And besides, I'll be at my parents iy'h so suppers & assistance will be taken care of for as long as im there iy'h.
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amother
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Mon, May 07 2012, 1:01 pm
Posted: Today at 3:00 pm Post subject: re: Preparing for the birth of twins
I have 2 sets of twins very close in age, so I think I can talk from some experience.
First of all, as much as everyone insists that you can't do it without help, you actually CAN. I didn't have any help when either set was born and I survived - and no I did not have a nervous breakdown. And DH was out of the house all day, starting from 2 weeks after the birth.
Nursing is doable, but difficult. I was able to exclusively nurse the second set for a year (pumping while I was at work) but not the first set, for a variety of reasons. I usually nursed both together, b/c as I wrote I did not have any help, so A. it was much quicker to do both together, and B. if one baby was crying when the other was nursing, what was I to do?
I have a twin nursing pillow but wasn't so into it. I found it easier to sit on a recliner with fat arms and use separate pillows for each baby.
My babies were generally on the same schedule, except at night I tried that they be a half hour off each other so I could nurse them separately in bed (can't tandem nurse in bed).
As far as switching sides when nursing, I switched off every other day (e.g. on Monday one baby got the right side for each feeding and on Tuesday that baby got the left. It was easier to keep track of that way.) And yes, each baby only gets one side per feeding - you don't offer twins the other side b/c that would be taking from his siblings side.
I hope this helps. If you really want to get the nursing going you need serious lactation support - especially if these are your firsts, and for sure if they are born early. Have the lactation consultants help you with tandem feeding as well, b/c if I wasn't able to feed them together I would have had to give them some formula bottles, which I really didn't want.
Also, to build a milk supply that is adequate for twins you may need to pump a lot in the beginning. In the hospital use a medical grade pump and pump every 2-3 hours for 15-20 mins even if the first few times you get NOTHING. You may not have any milk the first few days (and the babies might need some formula then) but then your milk should come in strong.
Hatzlacha, feel free to ask for clarification of anything I said.
Also, sorry I'm amother, but having 2 sets of twins is not so common (although it's been happening more and more) and I don't want to give myself away to pple who know me.
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alwaysbesimcha
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Mon, May 07 2012, 1:09 pm
I didn't alternate them in the middle of a feeding but I did try to keep track of which side they ate so I can alternate then by each feeding.
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elkie
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Mon, May 07 2012, 2:08 pm
I actually nursed my twins till they were 2 years old. I was very serious about it and about putting them on the same schedule. The twin nursing pillow is a must or at least it was for me. I did nurse them at the same time even at night. If one wakes up I would wake up the other one. And I nursed one b at a time. Next feeding I would switch...
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ellie23
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Mon, May 07 2012, 4:37 pm
[quote="amother"]Upon the advice of some of you's, I bought the book, Raising Twins. Really enjoying it so far.. and I wanted to discuss a few things that I read there. chime in if you have advice or just a comment to add
* She talks about getting both kids on one schedule as early as the first week after birth. I.e. waking up the sleeping twin if its time for a feeding even though s/he is sleeping so cute and comfy. Do you or did you really do that? in theory it might make sense but does a mother really have the heart to interrupt her babie's sleep? I've heard the theory, as long as s/he is sleeping, let it sleep but perhaps when dealing with twins its different?
* She talks about breastfeeding both twins at one time. sounds nice! is it something doable? Is it very difficult? or only in the beginning and it will get easier? Is the twin feeding pillow a must?
Please share all your thoughts!!
congratulations!!! I gave birth to twins almost a year ago so ill advise you as best as I can. I love that book and did follow her advice on keeping the babies on the same schedule. I found that when I didnt (ESPECIALLY during the under 3 months old stage), my day was absolutely crazy and I never ever got sleep because I was always caring for at least one baby so I was starting to fall apart. the truth was that when I put them to nap at the same time, they basically woke up the same time and if they didnt, the sleepier twin usually woke up 10 minutes later. 15 minutes was my cutoff point and if 15 minutes past and one was sleeping, I woke the other one up. was it hard to wake the baby? a little. is it much harder to have them on different schedules?yes! so I always kept them more or less on the same schedule and that worked very well. now that they are older infants and take 2 naps a day only I let them do whatever for the second nap since it is their last one of the day anyway so if one wakes up at 2 pm and the other is still sleeping until 3 pm- it doesnt matter because they will both still go to bed at 7 pm...
now as far as breastfeeding. I do think buying a feeding pillow designed for twins is important. I bought the EZ twin nursing pillow...I really tried to nurse them (and it really must be at the same time as newborns eat every 2-3 hours and if you feed them seperately you will be doing about 24 seperate nursing sessions a day- and they can last anywhere for from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours per session which account for an average of lets see...24 HOURS OF NURSING!!)but for some reason, even after help from a consultant, and using the pillow, my twins just didnt like it. they were my first children and my breasts became so sore and even had infections from all the attempts at nursing. I soldiered on and decided to pump full time instead but I never produced enough and always had to supplement with formula (this is very common with twins at the beginning. dont be alarmed if youd like to nurse but you end up supplementing with formula for the first week or so after birth...it takes time for your body to build up the milk supply) and I got so many infections and was in such terrible pain that it all just became to much for me. at 4 weeks old, I decided to feed them only formula and stopped pumping cold. I was so much happier...after bottle feeding I could sleep instead of slaving over the pump for a half hour or struggling to get them to latch for who knows how long. it was the right decision for the 3 of us but there are women who exclusively nurse twins-it can be done! I even know a woman who nursed her twins almost exclusively for a whole year! I would suggest buying the pillow and finding a good consultant who has experience with twins feedings who can come to your home post birth and help them latch and help teach you how to tandem nurse them.
good luck!
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ellie23
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Mon, May 07 2012, 4:47 pm
oh and I forgot to add- I did alway bottlefeed them at the same time. what I did was sit on a recliner with fat arms and laid each baby down on the same side of me- heads resting on my upper legs, their legs touching the arm of the couch. then I used one hand to bottlefeed and the other to use my laptop! I balanced bottle a for baby a in the inside of my elbow and bottle b for baby b was held in my hand- this only worked until 4 months old- once they started moving around/touching each other it didnt work but then I put one baby in that same position on one side of me and the other resting on my other upper leg and used both hands for each bottle.....
and I second what the amother above said. I had no help after one week with the babies when my husband was gone all day for work. I was also recovering from a c-section. and I managed and even enjoyed my babies. you can do it without help- of course take all the help you can get but if you are in a position where you are on your own...do not worry! you CAN do it! just take it one day (or one hour!) at a time...sleep as much as you can when you put them down to sleep...and get out of the house as often as you can...I took walks in the park with my 4 week old babies every day until the winter came...I also went out with my husband when they were just 2 weeks old, and went out with my friends at night sometimes.....its important to also maintain your identity as a woman, a friend, a wife....not just as a mother! pm me if you have any questions!
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amother
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Tue, Sep 03 2013, 5:05 am
rainbow dash wrote: | I find it very helpful to have them on the same schedule cause then you can sleep when they sleep. you cant do that if one sleeps at one time and the other sleeps at another time. But I think it helped waking the other twin for a feeding if the other one was up. Nursing I was not able to do but would of loved to if they were my first but my ds was 5 and my dd was 3 so it would of been to hard for me cause yes they were in school but school is not on sat sun and holidays and like this other people were able to help me.
Are you getting help? where I am there is a yiddisha org. that sent me someone for 2 hrs in the morning and the gov. sent me someone for 2xs 4 hrs a wk. also if you have older kids, I had someone come in the afternoon to look after the babies so I could concentrate on the big kids.
Good luck |
does yiddish a.org still exist ? I can not find it?
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rainbow dash
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Tue, Sep 03 2013, 5:46 am
amother wrote: | rainbow dash wrote: | I find it very helpful to have them on the same schedule cause then you can sleep when they sleep. you cant do that if one sleeps at one time and the other sleeps at another time. But I think it helped waking the other twin for a feeding if the other one was up. Nursing I was not able to do but would of loved to if they were my first but my ds was 5 and my dd was 3 so it would of been to hard for me cause yes they were in school but school is not on sat sun and holidays and like this other people were able to help me.
Are you getting help? where I am there is a yiddisha org. that sent me someone for 2 hrs in the morning and the gov. sent me someone for 2xs 4 hrs a wk. also if you have older kids, I had someone come in the afternoon to look after the babies so I could concentrate on the big kids.
Good luck |
does yiddish a.org still exist ? I can not find it? |
sorry for the confusion, there is no such thing a yiddish org I meant to say a jewish organization like bikur chulim.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 12 2013, 7:29 am
today on the tv show the doctors they will talk about multiples
ny time 6 pm
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TwinsMommy
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Tue, Nov 12 2013, 9:01 am
for keeping track of which babe on which breast you can have a bracelet representing each baby and wear that bracelet on the correct wrist. for a boy and a girl, a blue bracelet and pink bracelet. if two girls, maybe pink and yellow, you get the idea.
I was on a lot of medications and didn't nurse but to keep track of whose formula was whose (one was on a higher calorie than the other for a while) I mixed in a blue pitcher and pink pitcher and knew when opening the fridge whose formula was whose.
I always fed together--- took much less time than when I fed separately. When they were old enough for bouncy seats I sat cross legged on the floor between them and held a bottle in each mouth---- I spent many hours doing that--- answering the phone by hitting my toe on "speaker", yelling "COME IN" when someone came to the door-- my hands were always full. Before they could sit in bouncy seats I would cradle one in my arm and bottle him or her with that hand, crooking my hand, and bottle the other one in his/her carseat, though it wasn't ideal--- I'd have to pick up that baby a lot to burp. I remember a few times at the mall standing with the double snap and go and holding bottles to both carseats and just burping each one at a time multiple times. I HAD to get out daily before I went insane.
my twins are turning 7 in January.
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