Girl's "privates" | Imamother

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children

Girl's "privates"

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Barbara ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:20 pm

Delores wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

Whaaaaat? Does anyone else think it's very strange that a boy old enough to talk and understand saw his mom like that?????? Is it just me????

My DS was a late talker, but he was certainly talking in short sentences by age 2. And I'd have to guess that I was taking him into public restrooms with my far longer than that, and he didn't always obey the "face the door" direction. What do you do with your son if you need the restroom in a public place?

Honestly, don't your sons see you changing your daughters' diapers? I don't even have a daughter, and DS saw his fair share of girls' diapers being changed.

↑ vintagebknyc ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:23 pm

have no other women on this thread gone to loehmann's? because a whole lot of frum women shop there, and my mom--who needs no bra--has been taking me there since I was a small child.

relish ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:23 pm

Barbara wrote:

Delores wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

Whaaaaat? Does anyone else think it's very strange that a boy old enough to talk and understand saw his mom like that?????? Is it just me????

I agree with you Barbara and clarissa. It is likely that a boy will notice differences and ask about them. Nothing to freak out about.

↑ relish

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:24 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

have no other women on this thread gone to loehmann's? because a whole lot of frum women shop there, and my mom--who needs no bra--has been taking me there since I was a small child.

Your mom walks around without a bra!?

↑ Delores

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:26 pm

Clarissa wrote:

1) He actually said that when he walked in and saw me on the toilet. He wondered why I didn't pee standing up.
2) No, it was not the last time he saw me undressed. I don't walk around naked but we have an apartment that requires our kids to walk through our bedroom to get to the rest of the apartment. Plus, I'm not obsessively shy about it. Which is lucky, considering the layout of my home.
3) I think it's interesting in a thread where people are freaked out about saying the word p*nis, what you find most shocking is that my child has seen me in various states of undress. But that says more about you than about me.
4) I can't pretend to care all that much about whether you do or don't have body issues. That's between you and your husband.

Ya,okay. Got it.
You don't walk around naked but your kids walk through your bedroom.
If it sounds like I'm being judgemental it's because I think it's wrong. But you are free to live as you wish.
Good luck.
Apologies to the OP and to others expecting to read posts about naming body parts. I'm done. No more posts from me on this topic. But you can all continue laughing at my name. sob sob

↑ bamamama ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:29 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

Delores wrote:

Sorry Clarissa.
Clarissa: Everyone was reacting to your post and basically ignoring the fact that your kid saw you like that, I dunno, maybe I have serious body issues to think that should be a big deal. That's all.

I was waiting for this.

oh, irony, and her name is delores. not mulva

↑ vintagebknyc ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:30 pm

amother wrote:

I just heard that halachically it is permitted for a child to see you naked up until 3 years old. 2 1/2 year olds can talk, and ak question. It is not so apparent that clarissa did something wrong, even if you or I may decide against doing it ourselves.

I do not mean to be rude.

I am no scholar, but I do not believe this is halacha.

↑ bamamama ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:32 pm

miami85 wrote:

I personally learned the terminology from other kids, growing up, and was mature enough to not go talking about it freely. But why must we be so forthright with kids? I agree with the OP that identifying areas where a stranger shouldn't tough is proper chinuch, but a 2yr old is different than a high schooler and should be treated as such. I don't say "did you get a wound?" I say "did you get a boo-boo?" because that's what my--and any toddler can relate to--I DEFINITELY wouldn't call it a subdural hematoma!. Some words are just more child friendly and should stay that way.

It's not LYING to use a child friendly term. Somethings are appropriate to say "wait until you are older".

I mean when I once saw my sister-in-law's bedika cloths when I was a teenager and she quickly hid them and said "somethings need to wait until you are married"--I was SOO curious as to what she meant, I had NO CLUE what she meant. OK I learnt in kallah classes. Childbirth you learn in childbirth classes (the anatomy lesson is part of the class).

Let kids be kids, if they learn it elsewhere treat the question as a question, but keep children pure as long as they can be!

You have odd notions of purity. This is what I'm talking about when I refer to community control. That purity is linked to lack of knowledge surrounding one's body is disturbing.

↑ bamamama ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:33 pm

chani8 wrote:

thinkermother wrote:

And what pray tell is the real word for tushie?

That is the question of the day.

ETA If the front is called a Volvo, then the back? I think it's called a Ford?

No no no, Chani8. The back is the TRUNK.

↑ vintagebknyc ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:38 pm

relish wrote:

Your mom walks around without a bra!?

not around the neighborhood, no. she's a size AA, I clearly did not take after her. she doesn't need a bra. if we go shopping to a place with a communal dressing room--and, again, there are many frum women in this dressing room, though not likely bra-less--I see her breasts. no big deal.

↑ bamamama ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:38 pm

sushi galore wrote:

chani8 wrote:

Delores wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

Whaaaaat? Does anyone else think it's very strange that a boy old enough to talk and understand saw his mom like that?????? Is it just me????

You mean you don't let your boys see you naked?? Rolling Eyes

I sure hope you don't. Unless you trust he won't repeat wat he saw in school or with friends. Tznius......

Seeing one's mom naked on accident is not a crime. That your biggest worry is that he should repeat it at school is further evidence of the use of body shame as community control.

And to address chani8's point that secular parents also often use cutesy names for genitalia: yes, this is true, but in secular society it's generally not linked to fear of what other community members will think. Personal hang ups by are something else altogether.

↑ Barbara ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:39 pm

bamamama wrote:

chani8 wrote:

thinkermother wrote:

And what pray tell is the real word for tushie?

That is the question of the day.

ETA If the front is called a Volvo, then the back? I think it's called a Ford?

No no no, Chani8. The back is the TRUNK.

Or in England, the boot. Hence,

↑ busydev ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:40 pm

Clarissa wrote:

My son, when he was younger, saw me naked and asked where my p*nis is, and asked how I urinate. So I explained that, instead of a p*nis I have a v*gina, but I make peepee out of a urethra.

just one little thing that keeps bothering me every time I read this.

you both make pee pee out of urethras. just male urethras go thru the p*nis and female urethras do not. (hence females are more prone to UTIs-since their urethra is shorter)

↑ theoneandonly

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:45 pm

Clarissa wrote:

theoneandonly wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

Here's part of the problem. If a kid asks what this or that is, or asks a mother what she has or what the father has and the mother gets obviously uncomfortable or throws out some silly made up word (knowing at some point he or she will know the real words) than the mother is transmitting s*xual discomfort. Body discomfort.

How many threads have we read here about wives saying their husbands NEVER touch them there and seem freaked out about it? Or have never had orgasms? Or feel freaked out if their husbands want something that isn't on the daily menu, s*xually speaking?

I don't care if you want to call a p*nis the Starship Enterprise. It's silly and they'll find out the real word soon enough. But you're putting out there that there's something icky and off-limits and forbidden. You're starting the long road of s*xual guilt and discomfort.

I call a rear end a tushie as opposed to buttocks, because I like the word tushie. But I don't call a p*nis or balls anything but p*nis and balls. Why should I?

My son, when he was younger, saw me naked and asked where my p*nis is, and asked how I urinate. So I explained that, instead of a p*nis I have a v*gina, but I make peepee out of a urethra. Big deal.

I like the way I have to use asterisks here. I'm more open with my kids than I am here. Smile

Well, maybe other mothers call the p*nis a pippi/peepee because they like that word better. Why is it so glaringly obvious to you that you can use the word tushie without any issues but when anyone else uses tushie/peepee they are passing over body issues and zexual discomfort to their kids? Guess what--I grew up calling it a tushie and pippi. I never even knew the word vulva till reading this thread (I thought the whole area was called a v*gina. You learn something new every day...) I am BH happily married with two kids and am very happy with my intimate life, thank you very much. Not knowing the word vulva did not affect anything, I guarantee it.

(OMG OMG OMG I can't believe I'm arguing with Clarissa... hyperventilating here...)

I didn't grow up knowing the word vulva, either. I don't even remember what my parents called that stuff, honestly. It was so long ago, some time around the Lincoln presidency.

I don't really think it's so bad, when kids are really tiny, to use nicknames. I do think it's important at a certain age to change to real names, or at least teach them the real names. But, like I said before, we need to make it really clear that we're not embarrassed or uncomfortable. If a kid asks what his p*nis is or why it gets hard (yes, we all know that happens to little boys) and we blush, stammer or change the subject, we're showing that we find s*xuality to be weird or shameful. So you can call it anything you want, but when it's important to be normal and open, we need to try.

I may use tushie but that's because it's one of my favorite words. I never liked buttocks, butt, bum, etc., as much. But I do use real words when actually having conversations. I have been known to say, "I see your tushie" to my middle-aged husband. I can't help myself.

Ok, thanks for clarifying. ITA with the bolded.

↑ greenfire ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:46 pm

bamamama wrote:

chani8 wrote:

thinkermother wrote:

And what pray tell is the real word for tushie?

That is the question of the day.

ETA If the front is called a Volvo, then the back? I think it's called a Ford?

No no no, Chani8. The back is the TRUNK.

use it's proper name ~ backside !!!

↑ bamamama ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 1:59 pm

greenfire wrote:

bamamama wrote:

chani8 wrote:

thinkermother wrote:

And what pray tell is the real word for tushie?

That is the question of the day.

ETA If the front is called a Volvo, then the back? I think it's called a Ford?

No no no, Chani8. The back is the TRUNK.

use it's proper name ~ backside !!!

The cheeks aren't the backside, though Wink

We do use backside when talking about where the poo comes out. Otherwise we say bum.

↑ chani8 ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 2:42 pm

greenfire wrote:

bamamama wrote:

chani8 wrote:

thinkermother wrote:

And what pray tell is the real word for tushie?

That is the question of the day.

ETA If the front is called a Volvo, then the back? I think it's called a Ford?

No no no, Chani8. The back is the TRUNK.

use it's proper name ~ backside !!!

Kids call it tushy hole. I just call it "hemroids".

↑ chani8 ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 2:45 pm

Barbara wrote:

bamamama wrote:

chani8 wrote:

thinkermother wrote:

And what pray tell is the real word for tushie?

That is the question of the day.

ETA If the front is called a Volvo, then the back? I think it's called a Ford?

No no no, Chani8. The back is the TRUNK.

Or in England, the boot. Hence, [youtube]]

Shake your booty! Rolling Laughter

↑ mandr

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 2:45 pm

chani8 wrote:

Barbara wrote:

bamamama wrote:

chani8 wrote:

thinkermother wrote:

And what pray tell is the real word for tushie?

That is the question of the day.

ETA If the front is called a Volvo, then the back? I think it's called a Ford?

No no no, Chani8. The back is the TRUNK.

Or in England, the boot. Hence, [youtube]]

Shake your booty! Rolling Laughter

Don't grab my booty! Hands off my booty.

↑ sushi galore

Thu, Jun 13 2013, 4:25 pm

To Clarissa and Chani8:
I was a pre school teacher for both girls and boys. You have not the minutest clue what kids say. You cannot (ever) imagine what little bright kids pick up and repeat innocently in school. Our pre school principal has had to talk to parents about this. And you would not want your child saying such things innocently about you. Guaranteed! Or else your the weird ones.

Page 5 of 7

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next