Pls help. Too much for me!!!

Blue jay

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 12:38 pm

OP,

Mom of twins here! Now my b/g twins are alittle older but when they were babies I remember by 8-9 months we had a system going. I did have a schedule but it was parent led and nothing harsh or out of the ordinary. Naps at 9am and 1pm were a must. There is no need to stagger their naps. Put them down together, give it a good try. 15 minutes is a good rule of thumb. IF one or the other doesn't fall alseep then let them skip the nap, there is always the next nap.

Also the afternoon nap might be something new for them, so dont expect them to take it on too quickly. But like I said be official about a time a day when it is nap time. You need this time too!

As for baths I used to fill up the tub, wash one on a soft pillow (they sell these at babies r us)The other baby would be seated in a bouncy chair, in diaper and bathrobe waiting for his or her bath. Just keep everyone in close company, that was my theory.

Check out the book "Look out here they come" by Elizabeth Lyons, it provided me with alot of helpful strategies in dealing with twins during the first year.

eschaya

Wed, Aug 03 2011, 8:20 pm

OP - don't have twins so can't comment on too much, but would like to address your question of whether to go to work... Everyone is different, but I would strongly recommend it; part time of course. My first dd was incredibly colicky. When she was first born I was in school and everyone told me to take off, relax, not go to school, but I knew myself and decided to go part time. It was a lifesaver. I would not have survived mentally without it. Dd wouldn't sleep (8 hrs total per day... for a newborn!!), screamed all day long, and needed to be held. I'd be nearly insane... and then it was time to take her to the babysitter and go to school. By the time I was done with my classes (a mere 2 hours, 3 days a week) I felt like a human (adult) again, I'd had some social interaction, mental stimulation, ear and nerve relaxation... and I was actually starting to miss my child and look forward to seeing her.
I can see a very part time job working in much the same way; giving you alone time, interaction, stimulation... and the added benefit of being paid for that time alone instead of the potential guilt you (theoretically) could feel for spending money on a babysitter so that you can spend money on a manicure.
Just a thought. Everyone is different, but I can see a part-time job being beneficial.

frumamn

Thu, Aug 04 2011, 12:24 am

Make a schedule and STICK TO IT! Make it a really simple one, like wake up at 7, play at 9, nap at 10, lunch at 12, outing at 1, nap at 2, play at 4, supper at 6, bath at 6:30, bedtime at 7. Getting out every day is very important. It's really hard to get going but you'll feel much better once you do. Go around the block a couple of times. Walk to the nearest grassy spot and let them crawl around. Go to the corner grocery and buy a bottle of water. Just go somewhere open where you'll see other adults.
Also, both babies don't need a bath every day. You can do one baby each night. Bathe one while the other sits in a bumbo or bouncy seat and watches.
Down times are a must. Even if they don't sleep at first, you will get the break you need and sooner than later, they will get into the routine and sleep on your schedule. Just make sure it's consistent. The same time every day after the same thing, I.e. a book before first nap and an outing before second nap.
Stick it out and notice the joys of having twins too!! It gets much better!

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Aug 04 2011, 12:34 pm

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I read and will reread all these wonderful ideas.

-I just bought the bath seats, but like someone mentioned, I can't leave one unattended so I can't just run to put one baby down while the other waits. And my bathroom is TINY! Plus, its still a huge job for me when I can hardly move at the end of a long day.

-how am I supposed to find girls who might be available? My husband isn't really close to one shul yet so he can't ask anyone.

-schedules: I've been trying so hard and I WISH they can be on the same schedule. I'd love to do the 9am and 1pm nap. However, by 8am one of them is already so cranky, there is no way I can make him wait another hour!!! Also, they have constantly been doing short naps recently which drives me crazy. HELP? pls?? That's how the day starts to get off schedule and only continues from there Sad

-any other activity ideas that I can do with them indoors? Like btwn first and second nap?

THANK YOU ALL

Kumphort ↓

Thu, Aug 04 2011, 1:37 pm

My girls are 26 months old.

I know that almost everyone said this already, but you really need to find a way to keep them on the same schedule, I would also suggest reading a book, which discusses babies sleeping habits, how much sleep they need, and how to extend their napping time.

If one baby is kvetchy at 8am, what time are they waking up for the morning, can you keep him up 1/2 hour longer and then put the other baby to sleep at the same time?

Are your babies similar weights? sizes, that might be making a difference in their schedules.

I think you need to get determined to fix the problem, so that you can really get them on the same schedule but be prepared to really work at it for the next 2 -3 weeks.

re: finding girls, can you take the babies for a walk on shabbos afternoon, see if you spot any girls in the neighborhood, and ask them if they would be interested in playing with your girls during the week, while you are home with them? Most tween/teenage girls are fascinated with twins.

baths: Can your bring diapers in to the bathroom with you, take one out, dry them off, diaper them, do the same for the next, and then go find the rest of their PJ's? Or sometimes, I would just scoop them both up in a big towel to bring them to a bedroom to be changed.

Do you visit any other twin mom message boards? that way you can connect with other mom's who have twins the same age as yours to get ideas. I like twinstuff.com.

ideas of indoor activiites, turn on music, and boogie, do you have toys like excersaucer jumparoo, pots pans, can you make obstacle courses for crawling etc?
I would start a new post "what's your 9 months old schedule?" in the infants catergory to get more ideas that are age appropriate.

Good Luck, I am sure you'll do great

really once you can get them on the same schedule, there is nothing like raising twins!! (in a good way)

ps. writing this during their nap, and my sanity saver!

DefyGravity

Fri, Aug 05 2011, 3:54 pm

amother wrote:

-any other activity ideas that I can do with them indoors? Like btwn first and second nap?

THANK YOU ALL

My friend contacted the local Bais Yaakov for me, and they sent over girls twice a week for an hour at a time to help with the babies. We had this help for several months until the school year was over. It was very helpful because the hour that they came I could cook or clean.

Have you sleep trained your twins? My boy/girl twins are also 9 months old and they've been sleep trained since they were 6 months. They go to sleep at 7pm every night and usually wake up around 7. We put them down for their first nap at 9:30 and they sleep 1 and 1/2 hours. They're next nap is usually at 2pm, and that one is usually a little over an hour - if I'm lucky. We've found that they usually want to go down for a nap at 9, but if we can hold it off till 9:30, they sleep longer.

It took awhile to carve out a solid schedule. It was hard, but well worth it. At one point they got onto two different schedules, but I make sure that when one wakes up in the morning, I wake the other one up, and one is usually sleepy earlier, so I keep him up longer so they go down for naps at the same time.

Usually the time before the first nap is spent getting dressed, eating breakfast, then nursing, then a little bit of indoor play. If it's nice out, we might go on a small walk.

It's tough and involves a lot of guess-work. I'm always second- guessing everything I do, but they're fairly happy babies and they've been sleeping very well!

↑ mummiedearest

Sat, Aug 06 2011, 11:51 pm

amother wrote:

-any other activity ideas that I can do with them indoors? Like btwn first and second nap?

THANK YOU ALL

not leaving them unattended means you sit next to the tub and watch them. you don't have to hold the baby while he's in the bath seat. if you have two bath seats, you put one in each at the same time. sit next to the tub and watch them splash. washing each of them should not take long, and you have them both contained in the same tub. you can let them have extended playtime in the bath without having to run after them at all.

as for scheduling, get a book on sleep training. sleep training is wonderful.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Aug 09 2011, 11:37 pm

OP here.
Thanks again. I'm really appreciating your replies and support. There are harder and easier days....
Just I have a question again about scheduling.
For those of you that managed to put your babies on the same schedule, please help me! It is not working at all for me as hard as I try.
So in the morning, if one wakes up at 6 am, do I really have to wake the other at 6am if they are still tired??
Lets say I do manage to get them down for the first nap at the same time, one of them keeps taking really short naps and obviously needs to be put down MUCH sooner than the other. Like Baby B wakes up at 9:30 (from 8:45) and baby A wakes up at 10:30. So by 11:30, B is soo tired and A doesn't fall asleep until 1 (when B is up again!!!!).
Does anyone understand me and can anyone help me please????

↑ tikva18

Wed, Aug 10 2011, 11:35 am

amother wrote:

You are lucky that you didn't have to work on keeping the same schedule. Are yours identical? Because that can help.
By sleeping together do you mean in the same crib? They did but I separated them when they started moving too much.
They are in the same room but for naps I separate them or no one would get any sleep!
Two nights ago was crazy. They just kept waking the other one up Sad

Actually, they are fraternal b/g Smile

Yes, same crib. Mine slept with me most of the time, but I'd put them down next to each other for naps. That would be after I nursed them down. I've never been very successful at putting my babies down for a nap and walking away - lol. It always worked better to nurse them down.
I think I'm a big wimp - I cannot handle hearing them cry (although it was inevitable that a twin would cry - it killed me to hear it Sad

est

Wed, Aug 10 2011, 2:13 pm

I don't have twins but worked really really hard to get my kids into a schedule. the only way to do it is to decide how long they should be able to manage between naps and how long they need to sleep to manage until the next nap time. then you must put them to sleep everyday at the same time and wake them at the same time. this sets their bodyclock so that they naturally get tired around their nap times and easily fall asleep. you have to be very strict and punctual at the beginning till they get used to it. I also did not let them sleep anywhere except in their cots in the same dark room so that they associated it with sleep. at the beginning they would cry for most of their naptime, fall asleep finally and then I woke them 5-10mins later. then I would keep them awake with stimulation so that they did not fall asleep again before the next naptime. it was frustrating and exhausting and limiting for me but so so worth it in the end. I found gina ford's book to be really helpful in setting these times and she gives lots of tips on how to gently wake them and easily settle them. her schedule is extremely rigid and not everyone likes it but the book is very informative and can be adapted to suit your needs and lifestyle.

also re the bathing: if one of your twins is falling asleep earlier than the other in the morning then give them a bath then. it will keep the sleepy one going longer (the water/splashing will stimulate him and he won't be screaming from tiredness) and make the more alert one more sleepy. then you can put them both to sleep at the same time, wake them at the set time and get your day into schedule like that. it is also easier to bathe kids in the morning when you are not so drained from a full days work.

wishing you lots and lots of hatzlocha and koach to enjoy them!

↑ Kumphort

Wed, Aug 10 2011, 2:27 pm

If the issue is that B takes a lot of short naps, I think you need to work on baby B to take longer naps.

There is a whole philosophy how babies go through 2 45 minute sleep cycles when they are napping. This is why baby B is waking up at 45 mins, because he is waking between cycles.

Does this baby fall asleep on their own? What would happen if you wouldn't take him out of his crib? would he eventually fall asleep? can you give him a passy or something before he gets too hysterical so that he can soothe himself back to sleep?

I quickly googled baby sleep cycles, and came up with this, but if you learn how to extend baby b's naps...I think it will help you tons
http://www.askdrsears.com/topi.....-know

↑ ntm1

Wed, Aug 10 2011, 4:08 pm

My twins take 2 naps every day in seperate rooms- but I dont do the "9 and 1" naps- that doesnt work for them. I put my girls down for their first nap around and hour and a half after they wake up- wtvr. time that may be. Meaning they're usually up around 6 o'clock- I give them a bottle and they go back to sleep until arnd 7- 7:30. But not necesarily will it happen like that. somedays they can wake up at arnd 6:30 for the day so by 8 oclock theyre usually tired and I put them back to sleep. The next nap is around 2:30-3:00 and I dont let them sleep past 4P.M. 1 of my twins in the begining would also take short naps like 45 minutes. When she'd cry I'd go in give her back her pacifier and walk ou and I let her cry until she fell back asleep- it did take some time but evenually she learnt that I wasnt taking her out after 45 minutes. now I usually have to wake her up after a good 2 hr. nap.

I wish I can help you out with your bath time because however draining it is for me at the end of the day its just part of my kids going to sleep routine and it really helps. What exactly are you having a hard time with? doing both at the same time?what to do with one twin while bathing the other? Or is it just a matter of being tired?

In the begining of getting them on the same schedule you sort of need to wake 1 baby when the other one awakes- it sounds cruel but in the end it will hopefully pay off.