Hired help | Imamother

↑ Pearl ↓

Tue, Jan 25 2005, 8:48 am

Of course I didn't mean it like that....I always try to keep the house tidy, that's half of the cleaning work! And of course when shabbos arrives, everything is as should be...
I just had a feeling some of the posters (and I recognise myself there...) feel they should be busy with household all the time....or otherwise justify having hired help etc.....

queen ↓

Sun, Feb 20 2005, 1:01 am

I don't want my friend to envy me so I try not to talk about it, however we JUST got a cleaning lady this week. We both work (I actually from home) however I don't enjoy cleaning yet feel so much better when everything is sparkling clean.

It takes all my energy when I go through cleaning the whole (small apt) each week and just didn't feel like it was worth it to me. BH we both work and make more than the $12/hour the help requests.

we are careful and don't spend money unless necessary however help was something which makes a big difference to me. and when I'm happy I'm more calm and relaxed and can be a better wife making my husband happy!!!!!!

I agree that the expense of help DOES add up, but for me I'd rather be careful in other ways but have the peace of mind of cleaning help every other week. every woman has to decide what makes the biggest difference to her.

Our lives are so fast paced and it is up to us to make our homes a haven for our husbands. we need to be relaxed and calm ready to welcome our husbands home after they've been in the world during the day. Anything to make it easier for the woman should be recommended. We are the makers of the home, and if we are not happy no one is happy!

My parents have cleaning help until today (and as silly as it sounds) I daven that the woman should be well as my mother relys on her as she makes a tremendous difference.

On fridays I'd bring home flowers for my parents (while I was single) and every once in a while bring our cleaning lady as well. I recognized and wanted her to know we appreciated her.

look over your expenses and see what you can cut out in order to have a woman come every week or other week. I feel like a princess having her here, and grateful to my husband for supporting me in having this help.

Rose ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2005, 2:56 pm

amother wrote:

I have full-time help. I have to admit that it is handy, since I am not a major cleaner, but it's also not the most ideal. Due to our schedules we have an Aupair 8 hours a day. We really don't like the idea of leaving our baby with a [gentile] but in our situation (where we live, etc.) there isn't much of a choice. B"H our baby sleeps about 4 of the 8 hours she is here, but it still isn't what we would want! Luckily the aupair doesn't live with us, so she's out after her work day is done.

Why am I anonymous you ask? Maybe 'cuz I feel kind of guilty to be able to have such help with one child when so many out there can really use it! (BTW we live in a place where labor is very cheap, so it's not that we're paying a lot!)

↑ Rose ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2005, 2:56 pm

amother wrote:

↑ Rose

Mon, Mar 07 2005, 2:58 pm

amother wrote:

You should not feel guilty for having cleaning help, especially if its cheap. Enjoy and good luck with everything.

IndyMom ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2005, 6:59 pm

I JUST TODAY posted an ad in our paper for a "domestic assistant". I want my husband to be able to work late and go on business trips without me nagging him to come home to help me, especially after the new baby is born, so we decided to have help everyday. I don't want to hire a nanny becuase I want to spend most of my free time with my children, and I don't want to hire a cleaning lady becuase I want to be able to ask them to give the children baths and stuff when I am feeling overwhelmed, so I felt hiring a domestic assistant would cover the whole gamit. Right now we have a cleaning lady who comes thursday and fridays, and lately ive had her come monday nights for 2 hours to just straighten things a little as I am so tired and my hsuband stays up till 2am trying to keep the house clean. I don't want to hire her to watch the children as she is a j. witness and I am uncomfortable leaving then alone with her. I don't mind having a [gentile] watch them for short periods, but a missionizing religion like hers really does scare me.

cutiesmom

Tue, Mar 08 2005, 2:22 am

I have both a nanny five days a week that does light housekeeping (dishes, folds laundry, makes beds) as well as a cleaning lady once a week. I work full time and would not manage without the help that I have. My nanny is not Jewish Sad

, but my cleaning lady is. Pretty sad for me - I would love to have that reversed - but I feel lucky to have the help that I do, I know lots of people that would be more than happy to have even a little bit of help.
Hisorerus, as far as leaving a Goya free reign in your kosher kitchen, there is not any inyon that I know of of "keilim shenisalem min hoayin". Meaning, that you are allowed to trust a Goya in your kitchen (just dont leave any cooked meat accessible b/c that would fall under "bossar shenisalem min hoyain"). And no, I am not trying to turn this into a halachic discussion - just putting in my two cents worth.

kletterin

Tue, Mar 08 2005, 12:47 pm

I have a Polish lady that comes in once a week for 2 hours. Although my apartment is small and I only have one child, I still feel overwhelmed witht the amount of cleaning that I have to do. It is not expensive only 8 Euros per hour and I would rather forego other things just to have the help.
Actually, my mother in law (who lives in another town) comes to take care of my son for me once a week while I work. I always wash all of my laundry the day before because I know that while she is here, she will iron all of my husbands shirts! She says she loves to iron and I like helping her do the things she loves! LOL

Melissa

↑ hisorerus ↓

Tue, Mar 08 2005, 1:53 pm

I don't think the Halacha is that simple. If you are in the house, it shouldn't be a problem, but leaving the house could make your entire kitchen bechezkas treif. I have to look up the sources more, but the whole thing makes me nervous.

IMHO, it's better for me to learn to clean my kitchen than to relax my standards! (Not speaking for anyone else, just that for me it's not THAT big of a deal)

↑ IndyMom ↓

Tue, Mar 08 2005, 9:48 pm

wow, I just read your link and now I am totally freaked out! I need to get an assistant or our shalom bayis will fall apart. My husband and iwork so hard all day and I am more laid back then him about the condition of our house from day to day so my husband gets home and ends up scrubbing, cleaninga nd doing laundry until 1 in the morning. I can't stand it anymore. He is so stressed out and I know that I can promise I'll take half the work, but it won't happen becuase it just isnt as importentt o me to spend all my downtime cleaning. so, I need an assistant to keep the house clean during the day, to watch the kids during some stressful hours so I can relax, and then when my husband comes home we can all be in good moods and enjoy life.

I can't imagine what I would do about the kitchen as the only people to hire around here are non jews and I am on a pretty set schedule so they would know if I was coming home or not.

oy yoy yoy, now there is more things to worry about. I need ot find a rav asap.

stem

Mon, Mar 28 2005, 10:44 pm

Indymom - I just saw this post and wanted to tell you that you should really ask a rabbi. Sometimes just telling a neighbor or relative that they are free to drop in at your house at any time, and telling your cleaning lady that they could, can solve your problem. I am sure many people are in the same boat as you, so don't panic! Very Happy

deedee

Tue, Mar 29 2005, 3:54 am

we didnt grow up with a cleaning lady so when hubby suggested it I was not comfy with the idea. but... with the addition of his 3 kids we really needed it. she comes every thursday for $50. I WISH we could afford to have her more often. we feel so good after she leaves.
I cook thur nite so friday feels like a vaccation. which I'm not used to cause I would clean and cook on fri!
my next "thing" is to light shabbos candles w/o using 18 min-no excuses now!

↑ IndyMom ↓

Tue, Mar 29 2005, 7:15 am

actually, since my last post about this, I did find someone who is going tobe starting a week from thursday. She is 17, american, and doesnt "need" the money (as in kids or other responsibilities). She is goign to help me with kids/shopping/carpools/light cleaning. I am not even going to let her touch the kitchen until I know her better and she seems shy, and honest (and her references confirmed that personality trait) so I feel like I can trust her better then anyone else I have had in the past. I guess we shall see what happens.