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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club
A rhyming poem - Conversation with Hashem



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LiLIsraeli  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 28 2011, 11:33 pm
Something I wrote after seminary - when I actually had deep feelings like this. Does anyone know how to get those feelings back?


“I pray to You, My King, Hashem
My Father up above
I want just to be close to You
I want to feel Your love.
I want to be the best I can
To conquer my desire
But to succeed and to achieve
Your help I do require.”

“Dear child, I feel your yearning so,
And long for you as well.
I’ve waited for this day to come
With hopes that rose and fell.
And now you have at last reached out
Assistance you request.
And so I set before you now
A growing tool – a test.”

“Hashem, I try so hard to grow,
Without You I am naught.
I try to gain and to achieve
To practice all I’m taught.
Hashem, I want to do what’s right
To grow and persevere
But is this the reward I get,
Bitter pain and tears?”

“My child, I must explain to you
Oh, how I love you so.
I only want the best for you,
That you surely know.
You asked for my support
And I offer it anew
Recognize the chance you have
To build a better you.”

When heartache seems to overwhelm
And sadness is your lot
And tears are found upon your face
More frequently than not.
Find the opportunities
To mold your life anew
Recognize the chance you have
To build a better you!


Last edited by LiLIsraeli on Fri, Apr 29 2011, 1:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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sequoia  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2011, 12:14 am
Beautiful poem!

You need one more syllable in the line "more often than not."
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Bliss




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2011, 12:39 am
Beautiful! I like it very much!
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  LiLIsraeli  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2011, 12:41 am
I'll change it to "More frequently than not."

How does that sound?
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  sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2011, 12:48 am
Great!
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2011, 7:32 am
I love it!
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bigsis144




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2011, 9:58 am
it's really nice!
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  LiLIsraeli




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 29 2011, 1:20 pm
Thanks, all!
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eshes chayil




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2011, 2:26 am
wow! this is really beautiful!
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