want to start a writing club. you in?

cuties' mom

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 9:58 am

I'm sitting at the computer,my toddler on my lap.
We're simply sitting here though he really needs a nap.
A book is lying under my hand.
My kid's therapist wants me to read it, hoping I'll understand.
But "Engaging Autism" will have to wait,of that there is no doubt.
There's no way I can read it now; I'm busy spacing out.

I forgot to sweep the floor last night and take the garbage out.
I realized it this morning- I was busy spacing out.
My son's lunch mess is on the floor.
The broom's in the corner near the door.
I'm not cleaning up lunch yet; the mess will have to wait.
I'm busy spacing out; Believe me, it feels great.

I don't get much sleep at night though I spend many hours in bed
entertaining all the lovely thoughts that creep into my head.
And in the day the chores pile up as boring as can be.
But I have all my nighttime thoughts to keep me company
So if you want my attention now, you're gonna have to shout.
I'm really not ignoring you; I'm simply spacing out.

↑ Chochmes Nushim ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:04 am

cutie mom, awesome!!!!!

↑ Imhappy!

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:05 am

wow! cuties' mom
full sentence poem. - saying a full story rather than just feeling and thoughts.
I hope reading all this talent will awaken my sleeping skills.. keep it comin ladies.

↑ the world's best mom ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:09 am

Wow! Cutie's Mom, I love it! Every mother of a child (or children) with special needs deserves some time for spacing out and forgetting to clean. Enjoy it!

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:23 am

Funny that

it's called spacing out
when we ignore outer space
for our inner world

↑ superjew ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:26 am

I am loving this! Amazing writers! I am so lame accordingly lol
I have never considered myself a 'writer' though I love it at times Smile

Reading all your posts has opened my eyes so much though, I love it! THANKS

I feel like writing more, maybe more about spacing out, maybe another aspect to it.
I'll put some thought into it & see if anything comes....if not then not! LOL

↑ robynm ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:33 am

this was written by a member that PMd me and is going by the pen name MALKA. enjoy!
The day he left for rehab I was on an emotional swing-set.
After DS left to school, I rechecked DH’s luggage, made sure everything on the list was packed. I tucked in some last minute surprises—a card for him to read later, a picture of us from our wedding day. I dragged the suitcases down the steps to the garage door.
I don’t remember when he woke, but there was a quiet acceptance to the way he moved around that day. We drank coffee together in a comfortable silence; neither of us needed words to say what we felt. Every so often I would ask some benign question, did he remember to pack enough socks, and did he have paper for writing letters…even though I knew that he had. I had to stop after each statement or my voice would start to shake. There was a knot in my throat that was constantly threatening to turn into a sob. I wouldn’t let him see that. I didn’t want anything to change his mind about going at the last second.
About 10 minutes before his father was due to pick him up we brought his luggage outside. He hid some coke bags in his pockets, and I let him, reasoning with relief that if all went according to plan, it would be the last I saw of those wretched mini zip-locks. We spoke quietly, reassuring each other. We held each other tight for a while.
I looked up at him.
“I’m so proud of you. Don’t worry about me. Please. Focus on you. I’ll be fine. Don’t let my feelings change your decision to go.”
“I’m not,” he answered. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to see this through. Trust me, I wouldn’t be going if I didn’t want to.”
He was right, too. He didn’t do anything he didn’t want to do. If I had learned anything over the past 5 years of our marriage, it was that, for better or for worse, he was stubborn as a f***ing mule.
When his father pulled into the driveway, we were both fighting tears. We put his bags into the trunk, and he climbed into the front seat. A final, soft “I love you” and he was gone.
I stood there staring at the road long after they had gone, my mind racing. Simultaneously, feelings of elation and sadness came over me, overwhelming in its opposing forces, and I started to cry. I walked back into the house, the tears falling in rivulets down my cheeks. I didn’t know if they were tears of sorrow or joy, and I didn’t really care anymore. For the first time in 2 years, I felt like we were finally making progress. Our life had detoured for a long time, and we had gotten lost trying to make our way back to the main road. But now it was like we had found it again, and were travelling back to restart our journey.
I started cleaning up the basement in a daze, garbage bag in hand. I needed a distraction from my mind. I was beginning to feel numb. I came across the shell of a BIC pen, one of DH’s snorters for his drugs. I threw it away with a feeling of satisfaction. I found another and threw that out as well. It felt so good. A sense of urgency overtook me as I went from room to room, searching for the skinny white cylinders. With each toss, I felt better and better. Halfway through my search I realized my cheeks were wet, I was still crying. I acknowledged this fact in a distracted sort of way, and kept going. When I was done, I’d probably thrown out about 15. I sat down on the floor next to the garbage bag and leaned my back against the wall. A huge grin crossed my face, tears still streaming down my face. It was over. The sleepless nights, the crying, the worrying. No more pleading with him, no more arguing. We could start again, rebuild our marriage, go back to the way things were before it all went to s***. The weight that had been on my shoulders for so long I’d forgotten its presence finally lifted. I felt lightheaded and giddy. I felt free.
It was a long time before I finally stood up, drained from the crying, from the rush of emotions, but still feeling weightless, almost light-headed. I headed towards my room to begin my day of work. The house was quiet, peaceful. It would be a long 30 days, and I would miss him terribly, but I was looking forward to the experience, to seeing him transform into the person I used to know, into the DH I knew was still there, hiding under the haze of uppers and downers. He just needed the opportunity to come back out. And the opportunity was here. Now. I just hoped he would be strong enough to see it through. He needed to be. For him. For me. For us.

↑ HindaRochel ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:37 am

wow..that's fantastic cuties mom

↑ the world's best mom ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:37 am

Malka, you have real talent! Your story brought tears to my eyes.

↑ HindaRochel ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:41 am

And here's my contribution...btw agree with whoever wants to enable annon feature as sometimes I might want to post something more personal I also thinks its cool we are up to 7 pages in so short a time! Kudos and thank you robynm.

I heard a kitten crying
so piteously,
and turned to see her,calling
oh very gently
but away she went racing
in search of safety
for she had learned to early
our "humanity"
and my heart cries for what we have done

mummiedearest ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:49 am

may I join?

I should be writing a paper.
again.
though my heart is not in such a venture at this moment.
nay, my mind wanders. it meanders.
it acts on its nomadic tendencies.
read the news.
discuss nonsense.
type meaninglessly.
writer's block.
compose a mental to-do list of meaningless goals.
like washing dishes.
they'll only get dirty again, after all.
just like laundry.
lollipops,
ice cream,
days at the beach,
think about anything but
THE PAPER.

frailty, thy name is college student.

↑ robynm ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 11:16 am

this is from a member who calls herself: ROSE

Spacing out
It's what I do
I need to work
But can't seem to

Real life is filled with pain
Can't see what I have to gain
By doing what I'm supposed to do
Instead I'm hoping dreams come true

Spacing out sets me free
Fantasizing what could be
Ignoring my reality
Helps me keep my sanity

Thinking of another life
One that is not filled with strife
Yearning for a happy end
I know it's nothing but pretend

It's a way to stay alive
Even though I have no drive
Spacing out gives me a chane
To escape this crazy dance

↑ superjew ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 11:28 am

WOW! Malkas writing brought me to tears. AMAZING.

Rose - I LOVE your poem!!!

I think under the anon option there would be more writing as well (including from myself)

↑ Aylat ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 12:32 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Funny that

it's called spacing out
when we ignore outer space
for our inner world

Brilliant haiku PinkFridge! Loved it!! Deep and made me think.

↑ Aylat ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 12:49 pm

Malka, your piece really moved me. If this is from your life I really hope things improved. You're so brave.

Rose - your poem just flows. Please teach me how to rhyme in a way that supports the idea not gets in the way of it! (maybe you can give me some tips as amother when this is moved to a different forum)

mummiedearest I love the richness of your language, and the last line! Can identify!

↑ HindaRochel ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 1:01 pm

two more..this one on theme...sort of

SPACED OUT
Somewhere there is a
Place where I can be me
A home of a special sort
Carefree, enticing
Exciting,romantic
Delighting--just for me

Originating within
Uplifting me, there I'm
Totally free

and pink fridge gave me the idea for this one...is that okay? I mean morally? I don't mean to be stealing ideas...

TRUTH IS
There's a place I can live
totally free
without fear or constraint
a home within where I am safe
and the author of my own fate:
You may think me spaced out
but the truth is I'm spaced in.

↑ robynm ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 1:13 pm

I like!!! HindaRochel!!

just an update... I have stalked... I mean PMd every moderator in the social scene forum.... hopefully I wont get evicted for being a pest... I requested to have our own writing forum until I hear back from yael about making a private group.

just to let you know that I am not twiddling my thumbs.....

↑ HindaRochel ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 1:17 pm

robynm wrote:

I like!!! HindaRochel!!

just an update... I have stalked... I mean PMd every moderator in the social scene forum.... hopefully I wont get evicted for being a pest... I requested to have our own writing forum until I hear back from Yael about making a private group.

just to let you know that I am not twiddling my thumbs.....

Thank you! And you really started something...I'm so happy for us! Hope we hear from your ~~victims~~ I mean an admin soon! (will post bail if they send you to imamother jail)

↑ robynm ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 1:30 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

robynm wrote:

I like!!! HindaRochel!!

just an update... I have stalked... I mean PMd every moderator in the social scene forum.... hopefully I wont get evicted for being a pest... I requested to have our own writing forum until I hear back from Yael about making a private group.

just to let you know that I am not twiddling my thumbs.....

Thank you! And you really started something...I'm so happy for us! Hope we hear from your ~~victims~~ I mean an admin soon! (will post bail if they send you to imamother jail)

o once I sink my teeth into something, so help the ppl who get in my way Shooting Arrow

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 1:44 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

When you hear from my lawyers you'll know it's a problem ;-) Till then, imitation, etc. Actually I like structure, rhymes, acrostics, haiku, etc. myself.