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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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Flowerchild
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Wed, Jun 14 2006, 6:06 pm
sure they do, but if she has never done this before, isnt it smart to find out why she did it? if she did it just cause its fun or whatever than do whatever you feel is appropriate, if she did it because something is wrong than she needs her parents help. if she did it cause she needed a break from school well, than maybe she should ask her mom next time if she could stay home for one day. but vomiting like that is a little weird to me, I would want to know why she did it.
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nechamashifra
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Wed, Jun 14 2006, 6:25 pm
Quote: | original amother...to all those who suggest something is wrong at school or home..there is not. At school, they were doing an art project. And at home everything is fine also.Also we do feel punishing her is fitting...we don't want her to think she can get away with this in the future..it's not good to let a child think they can away with not telling the truth. A child should be punished for lying! |
I find it very hard to believe an 8 year old would fake throwing up just for the kicks. Do you honestly think she'd prefer to stay home, knowing she'll be sent to her room, then doing an art project with her classmates? How can you be so sure that nothing is bothering her at school? You, as her mother are the one person in her world that is there to back her up when she needs help. By punishing her instead of getting to the bottom of what's bothering her, you're teaching her that she's basically alone with her problems.
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Crayon210
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Wed, Jun 14 2006, 6:26 pm
While something really could be bothering this girl, it is also quite possible that she's faking it to get out of school. I don't think anyone's giving kids the credit they deserve.
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gryp
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Wed, Jun 14 2006, 6:57 pm
Quote: | think it's quite odd that most of you feel this is ok. don't you feel it's wrong for a child to lie? I'm amazed. Don't you realize one lie can lead to another and a child should see it's wrong? Inspired (and the rest of you), YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR CHINUCH! UGH! |
its only an attention gimmick, and its pretty clear thats all shes asking for.
if you concentrate on the lying which is NOT the main problem here(!), you will miss out on the real deal behind this.
and probably next time too.
and the time after that.
and so on.
she already knows lying is wrong. do you honestly think the punishment you want to give her will make her never lie again????
dont be so sure you know what is going on with her. it could be anything.
help her. shes asking you to.
please dont ignore her call for help.
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Tefila
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Wed, Jun 14 2006, 9:36 pm
Quote: | help her. shes asking you to.
please dont ignore her call for help. |
Pleae amother please she is only 8yrs old there must be something else going on there just must
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mumsy23
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Wed, Jun 14 2006, 10:41 pm
I agree amother - if she went to such lengths to miss school, there is a reason. FIND OUT!
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amother
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Thu, Jun 15 2006, 12:29 am
I'm not trying to scare anyone...
But, I would also def. look into the induced vomiting episodes.
It might be a start of an eating disorder.... :-(
I know that it generally happens during teenage years...
But, Amother mentioned that this is not the first time she's doing it....
This is not a good habit she's getting into.
I would put a STOP to it right away!!!
(I'm sorry Amother - I'm just trying to be realistic...
I have a sister who has Bulimia, and I'm really freaked out about it!!!!)
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Inspired
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Thu, Jun 15 2006, 2:16 am
amother wrote: | original amother here...happyone, no I never did this as a child. I think it's quite odd that most of you feel this is ok. don't you feel it's wrong for a child to lie? I'm amazed. Don't you realize one lie can lead to another and a child should see it's wrong? Inspired (and the rest of you), YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR CHINUCH! UGH! |
But chinuch means guiding the child. You cannot guide a child properly if you don't know what is causing the infraction. Nobody has said that it is good that she lied. But, the most important thing is not that she lied, it is WHY she did it. In yourrelationship with your child you are building for the future. Ignoring the glaring reality that something is bothering the child and punishing her without looking into what is bothering her is a sure way to make sure she sneaks around better as a teen so as not get caught and to not show signs of things bothering her because you will not look into it anyway.
My child my chinuch? I didn't see me start a thread asking advice. You asked the advice and now you don't like it. Sorry. Don't ask then.
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Inspired
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Thu, Jun 15 2006, 2:20 am
Quoting nechamashifra because she said it so well.
nechamashifra wrote: |
I find it very hard to believe an 8 year old would fake throwing up just for the kicks. Do you honestly think she'd prefer to stay home, knowing she'll be sent to her room, then doing an art project with her classmates? How can you be so sure that nothing is bothering her at school? You, as her mother are the one person in her world that is there to back her up when she needs help. By punishing her instead of getting to the bottom of what's bothering her, you're teaching her that she's basically alone with her problems. |
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