Hair covering + sensory issues = HELP!

seeker ↓

Mon, Dec 14 2009, 5:56 pm

I had sensory issues as a child but after some therapy it slid into the background of my life. However, I recently started covering my hair and although it's not SO severe, by the end of the day it's driving me crazy. I have a wig that's not too bad at first but if I wear it too long the itching drives me crazy and I get a tension headache. I wear tichels more often but those too get irritating after a while. I always FEEL something on my head.

Any suggestions?
What are the most comfortable headcoverings in which you can still look dressed (like professionally)?

KAlex

Mon, Dec 14 2009, 6:10 pm

Would it help to change what you're wearing part way through the day? It might draw more attention from your colleagues at first, but they'd get used to it pretty quickly, I suspect.

Hatzlacha in finding the right solution for you.

Mimisinger ↓

Mon, Dec 14 2009, 7:22 pm

If you're going with a sheital - go with one that is really light and away from your face. A pontytail sheital (make sure it's short and light) or a short style that doesn't get in your face.

With tichels, there too is a difference in fabrics, weight and texture.

leomom

Mon, Dec 14 2009, 10:58 pm

Depending on the type of place you work, you might be able to wear a nice pretied tichel. If you get one made of stretchy, but not slippery, material, it will stay on well and be much less noticeable to you. (I am also very "sensitive" so I understand how you feel!) Try stretchy velvet and tie it snug but not overly tight.

Or, maybe you would find a soft beret comfortable.

If you want to wear a shaitel, you can wear a light cap underneath to (hopefully) prevent itchiness and to keep all your hair in. A shorter shaitel style, with the sides tucked behind your ears (kept back with a bobby pin) will stay out of your way, feel lighter, and (hopefully) bother you less.

PinkFridge

Tue, Dec 15 2009, 9:48 am

Maybe I'm reading something into this. You say you just started covering your hair, but not that you were recently married. So kol hakavod for deciding to take this on. I wish you hatzlacha and hope you find a good solution and menuchas hanefesh and guf in what you ultimately do.

↑ seeker ↓

Wed, Dec 16 2009, 4:29 pm

I don't think changing would help, when I find something that works I will wear it all day! I'm that desperate!

My hair is pretty long, can you explain how shorter would help? I figured I should keep it long so I can tie it back and not have it fly out all over. Even tied back it keeps flying out here and there. Help from you experienced people please?!

Yeah, I've been wearing the pretieds to work the last few days even though they feel less dressed to me. So far they're the most OK, though still rather bothersome after a whole day, and always slipping -- I spend the whole day tugging it back into place. Even after using clips. And I STILL have the problem of hair slipping out all around the edges.

I am pretty recently married, but the change I am making more recently is that DH wants me to cover EVERYTHING. If I let a little bit show around the edges it's not as sensory because nothing against my skin. I'm also having a hard time figuring out HOW to keep it all covered even with the itching.

SIIIIIGH.

↑ seeker

Thu, Dec 17 2009, 4:01 pm

OK, now to deepen the situation, just as I am getting super frustrated with trying to get everything covered in the first place, my dear husband (who clearly has no idea how difficult this is. he's very understanding, but still a total guy) is ready to raise the bar and has asked his frustrated, sensory wife to keep it covered ALL the time. As in, even at home, even when not nida, even when sleeping...!!! GAAAAAAH!

After taking like an hour to fall asleep with the feeling of a THING on my head, and ultimately crying myself to sleep in frustration, it fell off anyway.

And before you suggest that I tell my husband to mind his own chumras and get off my case, a few details here:
1. He does mind his own chumras. With my full support.
2. We made the decision to raise our standards together. True, I didn't realize it would be this hard...
3. He is not on my case really. He never criticizes if I can't keep up. He is very understanding and tells me it's ok to take things at my own pace. I'm the one eating myself up about this because even if he says it's ok, I know what he really wants.

So basically, while I could use some TLC, I'm not looking for relationship advice here. Just some suggestions of what's comfortable and how to keep it on, and how to keep everything under it.

{scratches head}

↑ Mimisinger

Thu, Dec 17 2009, 4:19 pm

I think you need to take one step at a time. First, try to find something. Then try it for the day, then at home and only then, while sleeping. Many/most people find it hard to find something that stays on at night.

And, noting your sn, are you a seeker re. sensory? Or somehow else? My ds is a "seeker," so he needs more sensory input. Is that your issue?

You also mention itching could it be the fabric itself? Perhaps a soft, small cotton beret? And I can't keep pretied tichels on at all, unless over a fall.

prettyone

Thu, Dec 17 2009, 4:38 pm

stop eating yourself up. it is a waste of time and will get you nowhere except annoyed and frustrated.

most women cant keep things on their heads while sleeping and most dont try. not to say that it is not praiseworthy but you dont seem to be holding there.

so CHILL. your still a wonderful person for working on your standards and trying to raise them. try to do things slowly or it will backfire and youll be right where you started or even further back.

also maybe explain to your husband that your not holding there so he will ask more realistic requests from you in the future