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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
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amother
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 Mon, Dec 07 2009, 1:00 am
I have a fabulous girl who watches my children 2 days per week. I pay her as much as I can, but not nearly what she's worth. She wants to take a vacation in January or February. Should I just put in a note that I'm going to pay her for those days, and include a small gift and a card? Should I give her a week's salary as a gift, and not pay her for her vacation? I can't afford paying her both.
How should I handle it?
Is there anyway to express my hakaras hatov, letting her know how much I appreciate all of her hard work without overdoing it? I'm afraid if she knew how great I consider her, she'd realize that she could make more money elsewhere.
I do have her for shobbos every week, and consider her a friend.
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amother
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Mon, Dec 07 2009, 3:12 pm
What if you give her the equivalent of the salary for the vacation weeks as a gift NOW, with a note that says you want to give this to her now so she can spend it on vacation. And just write on the card how much you appreciate what she does, giving a few specific examples of things from recent weeks. Being specific lets her know you mean what you're saying and that you see what she does.
I was lucky to have babysitters/nannies/mothers helpers whose values were very much like mine and they made a HUGE difference with my daughter. I felt like she realized that her world was consistent, even if populated with many people.
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