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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty

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morahmommy ↓

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:34 am

I'm posting this as more of a vent because I guess I can't expect any of us to do anything. I went shopping this past Sunday at a certain Brooklyn "frum" store (I had gotten a gift card). I was desperately looking for skirts, HOWEVER, there was not one "short" skirt that even came close to covering the knee- I'm not tall (5' 3")- did the laws of tznius change or are frum stores just not catering to the frum people anymore? Any insights?

Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:37 am

Peer pressure.
That's all I can say before people get offended and defensive.

Sherri

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:38 am

morahmommy wrote:

I have been shopping and didn't have this problem. I do know that people are more comfortable with wearing short-er (especially in the winter when they wear opaque tights...) but I have not had a prob.

I will PM you with the names of the stores I have been to.

Barbara

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:46 am

Any chance you have a small waist and relatively wider hips? The skirt will then fit at the waist, and the flaring out at the hips will make it appear shorter.

ray family

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:47 am

you're right it's getting harder to shop- even in the "frum" stores.
I live in Israel and come to the states maybe once a year.
I remember when one of these stores opened they had a sign on the mirror saying you're a bas yisroel and the way you dress should reflect that. a year later it was the first place I went bec. I had been so impressed the time before only... the signs were gone and the skirts were shorter

Atali

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:50 am

I would have been very tempted to (and may have had the guts to do it) gone up to the store owner and said sweetly:

"Excuse me, I am looking for a tznius skirt but can't seem to find any. Do you have any in stock?"

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:53 am

Atali wrote:

Love that, Atali! Wish I had the guts to say that...

↑ Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:56 am

Consumer action means a lot. If people do ask for longer skirts, they WILL stock them. It's worth it to speak up. They want to make money -- if the short skirts sell, that's what they stock. If they hear there is a widespread wish for longer skirts, they'll bring them in.

Raisin

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 4:05 pm

the fashion now is for shorter skirts, wheras a few years ago the fashion was for longer skirts. So it's also what is being made.

Hodu Lashem ↓

Tue, Nov 17 2009, 4:26 pm

Atali wrote:

I agree that many of the frum-owned stores don't carry clothing that are unquestionably tznius, yet pretty. Even if it's long enough, there is always something wrong with it ex: cut too tight, so that it really emphasizes your ___(fill in the blank)___; Or the top is cut short so, if you raise your arm a little...ooops!

We should ALL say something to the store owners, if it's something that bothers you. I really want to say to them, "I came in with cash ready to spend, because I really need an outfit, but I am walking out EMPTYHANDED bec. I can find nothing fashionable yet doesn't compromise in tznius. If you get in anything new, give me call."

If we all said that, they would get the message!

↑ morahmommy

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 9:40 am

I actually did say something to the store owner, but she said to me, "well, we try to cater to all women- unfortunately, I did not have the guts to ask- "does this mean even those of us who actually keep hilchos tznius?" but you're right, maybe I should have. Also, for the one person who asked if I'm small waisted, etc. - no, I'm pretty small, but proportionately sized AND even on the mannequins, the skirs were not covering the knees, so...

chaylizi

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 9:43 am

IDK, I'm 5'8" & I have only skirts that cover my knees (and not just covering either). Try elzee. That's where I found most of my skirts & I have quite a collection.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 4:15 am

Frum stores are more expensive, generally not much tzniuser and have fewer choice than regular shops. I hardly buy there. I tried them for my wedding gown and their choices were absolutely sleazy. I ended up buying the tzniusest I found in a [gentile] shop. They told me they have tons of frum kallos who go there and have something fitted (top, sleeves, etc) for the chuppa as it's impossible to find a really covering wedding dress.

Isramom8

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 4:41 am

It's very hard for stores to order that which isn't being produced. Even in Bnei Brak it can be a chore to find an outfit.

aeg770

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 8:48 am

I went from Brazil to the NY this tishrei and I found it exactly the same thing, like, when I saw frum girls with shorter (right on their knees) skirts, and sometimes with openings in the back I thought, "ok they bought it somewhere" but then I saw these same skirts in frum stores, I was surprised.
As a fashion designer of a tznius small brand where I live, I was shocked by seeing this. I hope they make longer skirts soon and get the tznius standard back!

amother

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 8:50 am

Out of town gals who struggle to find tznius stuff are sometimes shocked by what is worn willingly "in town".

↑ Hodu Lashem

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 10:53 am

Isramom8 wrote:

It's very hard for stores to order that which isn't being produced. Even in Bnei Brak it can be a chore to find an outfit.

Some of these stores have a relationship with the manufacturers and order clothes with their own specifications. I know this to be true from several stores in Brooklyn. May not be true for all stores though.

Bottom line is the store owner buys what they think will sell. If they didn't think the shorter skirts would sell, they would NOT buy it. If we just allow them to set the trends and only go with what they make available to us, they will continue to provide us with questionable articles of clothing.

If we make it clear that they are LOSING MONEY by not stocking pretty clothes that don't compromise on tznius, then they will make sure to stock what you are looking for.

Let's say you are a mother with 2 teenage daughters, do you allow them to beg you "Please buy these outfits, bec. everyone is wearing them!" If you give in to your daughters and buy 2-3 outfits each, what message do you send to the store owner? Message: "Good choice buying these outfits. I must make sure to go back to that designer again."
Or do you say to the store owner, "I really need outfits for both of my daughters, but can not find anything that I consider fashionable, yet acceptable regarding tznius. I would love to shop in your store, when will you be getting in more outfits?" What's the message in this scenario? Message: "Hey, I just lost a considerable sale here. Better make sure to get in some more tzniusdike options, so next time they come in I don't lose out."

Just think: "What message do I want to send when I shop?"

louche

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 11:35 am

I agree that customers must speak up. I used to think that by simply walking out without buying, I was "voting with my feet," but that doesn't tell the owner WHY. If there's something you want--or don't want--you have to tell them so there's no misunderstanding.

I don't know about stores that have clothes manufactured to their specs. Most of the stores I frequent buy from distributors, or if they do buy from the manufacturer, they buy whatever the manufacturer is showing. Small shops are usually not big enough to have things manufactured to their specs.

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