Touch deprivation!!

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Touch deprivation!!

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

thegiver ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 1:31 am

I never touch my kids except my babies. Pls HELP! I hate touch but I know they need it!!!!

amother

Hydrangea ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 1:33 am

Go to therapy for yourself. There is obviously something wrong... You need to heal yourself.

Start slowly, like one hug in the morning and one at night.
Or, one pat on the arm, or a high five, depending on how old the kids are.

But really...this is huge. You need to heal.

↑ thegiver ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 1:38 am

Can u be my therapy? I let my Dh touch me.

I remember when I was a kid I hated kisses from relatives. Normal parents. Loving warm.

Touch interferes with my ability to think. Which I desperately need sometimes. Often.

amother

↑ Hydrangea ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 1:58 am

I cannot. You need professional help. Sorry.

Rappel

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:24 am

Get into a position which is relaxing for you - lying on the carpet, or on the sofa, and just breathe. Stretch. Enjoy the feeling.

And then allow little people to enter that space with you

amother

Maroon

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:26 am

Would it help if you make times for yes touch and times for no touch? I sometimes tell my kids mommy is having some alone time now and needs space, and other times invite them to hug/be close to me. I definitely couldn't handle a free for all. I would respect the same of them if they also didn't feel like a hug.

salt

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:38 am

thegiver wrote:

You don't have to touch/hug them when you need to think. You can tell them to get off your lap if you're in the middle of a call, or looking something up.
But when you have a free minute, say "I'm not busy now, want to come for a hug?"
Or when you say good night to them, tuck them in to bed and give them a hug and kiss.

You don't need to be available all the time for touching, just every now and then.

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:41 am

thegiver wrote:

Are you on the spectrum?

comfort

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 7:38 am

Anyone have an easier time to love there boys than there girls? I mean by hugging, kissing them?

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 7:47 am

comfort wrote:

Anyone have an easier time to love there boys than there girls? I mean by hugging, kissing them?

Yes
Always wondered about this

↑ thegiver ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 10:35 pm

Not on spectrum

↑ thegiver

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:22 am

I notice it’s a body warmth thing and also they never wash their hands!! I can feel the grime sometimes. How do I get past this? It doesn’t bother me as much with the little ones but the older kids… like 10 yo. How do you get them to improve hygiene? I said shower and I’ll scratch your back for 5 minutes and he said only if u do it for 10 minutes! lol can’t get the kid to shower after camp.

amother

↑ Hydrangea

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:24 am

comfort wrote:

Anyone have an easier time to love there boys than there girls? I mean by hugging, kissing them?

Nope.
Girls are more cuddly IMO, and they cuddle for longer.

Boys stop wanting Mommy's kisses sooner.

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:57 am

amother Hydrangea wrote:

Nope.
Girls are more cuddly IMO, and they cuddle for longer.

Boys stop wanting Mommy's kisses sooner.

Depends which boys or girls. I have one very soft boy who loves to cuddle and one that wants it less.

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