caught between honesty and teachers policy - WWYD?

supermommy

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 6:55 pm

dd who is in 1st grade came home last week with a negel vaser chart. I had to check off on each day for a week 3 things. 1)if she filled up negel vaser the night before. 2)washed negel vaser in the morning. 3)spilled it out in the bathroom afterwards. Girls who bring in the filled in paper are entered into a raffle.
Most days she was good about it but 2 days out of the week she only washed negel vaser and did not prepare it or spill it out, so I did not check those things off.
Dd came home today with the paper and told me that her Morah wouldn't put it in the raffle because it's not completely filled in. (I don't know if her Morah really did this or if she was too embarressed to hand in an incomplete chart) She cried and cried but I told her I'm not checking off something she did not do.
Is that fair? She cried herself to sleep tonight. What would you do? Just check it off? or stick to it and not fill it in?
It's too late to call her Morah and clarify if that really was the criteria. I think it's not fair for a first grader to be left out after she tried so hard but wasn't 100% perfect. But I don't want to lie either.

WWYD?

YALT

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 7:07 pm

call the teacher in the morning & explain the situation. Tell her the point is to try thir hardest, which is what your DD did, and there should be something for trying.
Suggest to the teacher that rather than a completed chart gets entered, instead, for every complete 3-step night or for every step completed, they get another chance in the raffle. Maybe even those that have a complete chart can double their chance.

the world's best mom

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 7:09 pm

I feel for her. Whether the teacher actually said that or not, your daughter really believes that an incomplete chart isn't valid. I would say it's not a good idea to lie, because she will remember that you can lie if that's the only way to win, but the teacher definitely shouldn't be so picky. My dd has a bedtime chart every week now, and we're supposed to check off if she's in bed by seven thirty. Friday night she always goes to sleep late, so I didn't check it off. She brought back her otherwise completed chart very proudly, and got a prize for it. As long as the kid is trying, the teacher has to make her feel good and reward her. I don't know what I would advise to a mother in this position.

imasinger

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 7:09 pm

That's very good advice. Or perhaps if they have X number of check marks over the course of the week, and it doesn't have to be 21.

Poor kid! I hope she feels better and gets some validation for her efforts at school -- be sure and tell her how proud you are of her, raffle or no raffle.

Love My Babes

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 7:10 pm

I would call the teacher and ask her to please hold off on the raffle for another day because im sure your daughter is not the only one who forgot one day. maybe u can ask her that if she does it the next 2 days she can still be included. I think its important for teachers to give a drop of extra time for kids who may not have been able to do it every day in a row but still worked hard to do it. my daugher recently had a similar chart with negel vasser and modeh ani and one day I think we missed one and I waited another day and sent it in the next day and she got the prize too. yes, my daughter is 2 not 6 so it makes a big difference in the responsibilitly of the child, but I think there should be some more time like u need 6 out of 8 days. sometimes as mothers we get busy in the morning and then its not fair for the kid to lose out just cuz of that...

Hodu Lashem

Mon, Nov 16 2009, 7:13 pm

You were right to stick to your guns! I would write a note to the morah about it tomorrow. Either explain to her what happened in the note or ask her to call you regarding the matter and then explain it over the phone. I'm sure you could work it out with the morah, without compromising on emes and teach your dd a valuable lesson, as well. Thumbs Up

But sorry you had to go through all that with your daughter crying herself to sleep. It is so hard when that happens! Sad

Maybe mention to the morah that it would be helpful if she would outline all the rules/requirements with charts such as these, in the future.

Hope that helps, and hope you feel better about your decision. Smile