Need tips to help a my 1st grader become more responsible

Tech_mom

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 2:42 pm

How can I help her become more organized, neat and responsible. She is blessed with a very laid back/easy going personality so it seems that this trait needs to be taught to her (vs. another daughter who is very organized but it comes with an intensity....) I don't want to ruin her nature.

Here are the details:
School: She forgets to bring home her folders/workbooks for homework and is completely unperturbed. The teacher said at orientation that she never checks homework and its the parent's responsibility - which leaves me to be on her case which is more work than I want to be involved in (calling another kid, writing it down).

Home: She is slowly becoming more aware to keep her clothes a little cleaner ("Don't let your sleeve rest on your plate it will get dirty.". Her reply, "Oh..."). She does make an effort to stay clean and point it out to me. (BTW: I am not a clean maniac by any stretch of the imagination). I remind her, "Make sure her shirt is tucked in to her skirt. Be aware to check if your skirt is tucked into your underwear..."

What incentives/consquences can you suggest to help her tune in to better school habits or home habits?

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 3:00 pm

I have a ds that sounds very similar. 2 things to say.
1- incentives- ds gets a tiny prize every day that he comes home with a clean shirt/face. I kid u not! this must be done and really makes a difference.
2- some of this is maturity related. I have noticed that slowly he notices more on his own. with gentle prodding and real step by step instruction- ie: this is how u should pack your schoolbag. . . it gets better. sometimes our standards are too high and we expect these kids to "pick it up" on thier own when really a visual demonstration and practice goes a long way!

natmichal

Thu, Sep 24 2009, 3:08 pm

Sounds like first grade boy...
This is his trait - even if by nature he's a yekke (which makes for some fits...), and he is in special ed, so getting him organized, respnsible etc is actually part of the curriculum.
I'm surprised at your daughter's teacher - I know quite a few 1srt grade teacher and NONE of them expects the kids (or kids parent's for the matter) to be responsible for homework etc.
Now for tips: your daughter is not stupid and she knows (yes she does!) that it will help her to be organized and responsible (make teahcer happy, not get mocked at for not being dressed properly etc). Write down with her a list of things which have to be improved (make a draft on your own beforehand to "help" her figure it out and not get overboard on side-things). Boil it down to one issue at home and one at school - say making sure her bag has everything needed for the next day and getting dressed neatly in the morning, or putting her dirsty things in the wash or even making sure her hands are dry after she washes them. Then make a chart with stickers.
Decide ahead of time if she'll get prize or praise for reaching a goal and after how long and move on to the next goal only after the first was reached.
My son had them for at least 2 years in gan and home and now is asking me to make him charts for specific things by himself (!!!)