Help me not obsess about this disappointment

↑ Fox

Tue, Aug 25 2009, 6:36 pm

NotInNJMommy wrote:

FYI: I don't find the things embarassing or over the top, and I am NOT a saver, and I DO remember bdays/anniversaries.

LOL! I'm probably at the more extreme end of the continuum of sentimentality. I just finished reading "The Anglo Files," by Sarah Lyall, and I'm thinking maybe I'd be more comfortable moving to England.

Anyway, DH and I are bracing ourselves for the fact that our kids will probably want videos of their chassunahs -- and we have no real reason for objecting other than the fact that we find it inescapably icky. So we recognize we're extreme; we just can't help it.

However, I draw the line at anything involving cutesy rhymes! LOL

greenfire

Tue, Aug 25 2009, 6:52 pm

I'm sure there is a balance in the saving ... as well as personality differences ...

I've been sad to see my kids dispose of birthday cards ... I keep their letters and everything ...

you're sentimental value makes you feel like something important was lost forever ... and it was ... try and look forward to next years treasures and make the best of it ...

do double check that it is something she is interested in so she doesn't end up feeling bad as well ...

↑ amother

Tue, Aug 25 2009, 10:35 pm

This is the OP -
I can't reply to everyone individually but I want to say THANK YOU!!! To all who posted since I last responded here, thank you so much. You have spoken many words of wisdom and I feel very understood, and also wiser for having read your responses. I think this is really the best of Imamother caring, even on this little subject - but the caring really comes through.

Yes, my daughter is sentimental, although it's likely not as much as I am. She cares about not having the letters, but she is more sad for me, I think, because she knows that *I* cared... and I don't want her to feel bad at ALL. She is just a kid, and as a few people pointed out, she most definitely did act appropriately given her circumstances and her age and personality.

And my son, on the other hand, DID keep all his e-mails and letters (but I had copies of the e-mails I sent to HIM! oh well) and treasures them, and also makes sure to contact (by phone or letter) each person who wrote to him to answer EVERY question they asked in their letters. Very different personality than his sister! Totally different level of caring about this kind of thing.

But she also cares in her way and does wish she had saved the letters - so now I will turn my attention to making sure HER feelings are heard and soothed. I knew all along it was really not about me - and I feel better now to let this go and look toward future "memories" also...

(oh and Fox, in a strange way I understand you - even though I take thousands of photos and a bit of video, and I take great joy in looking at photos of my children as they have grown - I also find it somehow heartbreaking - there is a kind of pain mixed in with the joy whenever I see a beautiful picture of one of my children - even if it was taken only yesterday. Sometimes I wonder, are we supposed to be capturing them in this way?)