Chutzniks? anyone else's dh's going to EY for Lag B'Omer?

↑ grin ↓

Sat, May 16 2009, 11:53 am

freidasima wrote:

Ladies, I'm not making comparisons but I want to point out something.

First I think it is a positive thing that if you could afford it your husbands went to EY to Meron for Lag Baomer. More so if they had a chance to stay longer. Any time that they spend here is wonderful and hopefully gave them a spiritual lift that they will bring home to you. Every couple makes their own priorities and choices and if this was a mutual choice and you are happy about it, even with your children not making it easy for you and your coping without your dh for shabbos, it sounds like you are basically happy about it and did something good.

Here in EY men go on miluim - army reserve duty. And not everyone has a mother, sister, sister in law or anyone else around to help with babies. I went through this with little kids, so did my friends. And the law is that until you have six children you are liable to be called up for up to 30 days army duty straight and far away from home, getting off, if you are lucky, for maybe two days during that whole time or one weekend. It's not a question of "choice", it's one of the parts of living here that you have which are part and parcel of living in Israel today if you go to the army.

This was not said to bring up the issue of army, right now that is irrelevant. What I mean is that there are thousands of Jewish women, mothers, who go through not one week without a husband who is in Meron but one month a year, every year, without a husband who is on miluim and doesn't get home to help them feed, bathe and put the kids to bed. It's hard. One copes. Women here are usually proud of their husbands who are doing reserve duty, just as you are proud of your husbands who went to Meron.

I write this to you, davka to give you strength, not as a comparison. We do it. You do it. It's possible. Jewish women are strong.

That was all I was trying to say. Don't read any more into it.

not to mention those single mothers or who's dh's don't help with the children ever for whatever reason (some of whom have posted about this in the past)

In any case, as freidasima says, we all have discovered that when you need to handle it, Hashem gives you the kochos and we're all the better for it, in the long run.

↑ Raisin

Sat, May 16 2009, 3:38 pm

grin wrote:

freidasima wrote:

I remember when my dh went away when I had 2 or 3 small kids. It was so hard for me to cope, I had someone come to help me or went away to my mother. now I have 5 kids and it is not so hard.

↑ Mama Bear

Sun, May 17 2009, 11:04 am

I had a wondeful shabbos at my parents BH. food and company were abundant. the kids, however, gave me a very hard time with falling asleep. They were both up til midnight friday night but slept well duringn the night. BH no one got up at 6 a.m.! My ILs took SM for the seudah and... just never returned him. I finally picked him up motzei sahbbos at 10 p.m.! Once again the kids wouldnt fall asleep, Sm stayed up til past 1 a.m. But at least BH it's almost over; I came home today at 11:30 a.m. One more night! one more night!!! DH gets on plane IYH when it's 6 p.m. here. One more night and we're back to normal IYH, and at least I learned this week just how well I can manage on my own when I have to, and not to underestimate myself.