I feel terrible | Imamother

amother

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 3:48 pm

Dd is in fifth grade and just turned 11. She got her period for the first time and I didn't explain it to her before!! I was planning on telling her before this summer. My older daughter got her period for the first time in seventh grade and I thought I had more time. I feel absolutely terrible 😞

613mitzvahgirl

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 3:52 pm

It’s okay, everyone has different bodies, no two are alike, since she just got it, you can talk to her now.. I’m sure she will be happy to hear that you are being understanding and there for her and she’ll come around and open up.. you got this..

tulip3

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 5:50 pm

Girls need to know by 9/10 the latest. Sometimes I want to scream at all the mothers like you who wait and then their kid thinks they have cancer! Did you apologize to her? Was she freaked out?

amother

Brass

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 5:53 pm

tulip3 wrote:

Girls need to know by 9/10 the latest. Sometimes I want to scream at all the mothers like you who wait and then their kid thinks they have cancer! Did you apologize to her? Was she freaked out?

Excuse me?? This is a disgusting way to talk to a mother who obviously is just doing her best. I agree with u that they should be told by 9/10 but it was an honest mistake. It wasn’t that long ago that 11 was young enough. Take your trauma elsewhere.
Op
It’s ok. It’s a mistake and not a great one but she will be ok. Just be super open with her. You can even apology that u didn’t tell her early and stress that of course you planned to so she knows this isn’t a secret or a bad thing.gove her lots of hugs and attention if you can.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 5:56 pm

My question in these scenarios is always did your kid have any other signs of puberty as in pubic hair, breast buds, discharge, etc. If yes, then it's a conversation that should've happened a long time ago, but you can still redeem yourself by apologizing and thoroughly explaining what's happening to her. If not, then yikes because that means I need to have a conversation with my 10 year old as well, who is showing zero signs of puberty!

tulip3

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 6:04 pm

amother Brass wrote:

If you live under a rock then 11 is early enough. She should definitely apologize. Put yourself in the kids shoes!
It's very traumatic to get a period and not know much about it and be scared out of your wits that you have a scary illness.

patzer

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 6:06 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I think you had better, unless you want Tulip to yell at you, too! Wink

tulip3

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 6:07 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

From myself who got it super early and my nieces/kids friends/my kids, budding alone is enough to start a light staining one day period. And then period gets heavier and more regular as the months/years go on.

Even if your daughter is showing nothing, talk to her so she has factual correct info and doesn't hear it from kids with weird twists to it muddled with misinformation.

amother

Darkblue

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 6:10 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

You should start now either way. The earlier you start, the more you could break it up so you’re not dumping a ton of info at once.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 6:10 pm

tulip3 wrote:

Girls need to know by 9/10 the latest. Sometimes I want to scream at all the mothers like you who wait and then their kid thinks they have cancer! Did you apologize to her? Was she freaked out?

You seem freaked out. Did you read the op? She already feels terrible. No need to make her feel worse!

tulip3

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 6:56 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

You seem freaked out. Did you read the op? She already feels terrible. No need to make her feel worse!

My point is that it warrants a serious apology and it's not just "oh I yelled at my kids" type of situation.

amother

Glitter

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 7:06 pm

If you have more daughters, take note for the future that you need to tell them by 9 (9/10 has become a lot more common than it used to be). While you shouldn't beat yourself up, there's almost certainly damage control to be done, so make sure to be on top of that to make it up to her. Unfortunately, having a period without knowing it's coming is going to traumatize most kids (with good reason! 99.9% of the time, bleeding is not a good thing!) so you'll need to do some cleanup here, but don't beat yourself up like you did some horrible wrong. It was an honest mistake, you did your best with the information you had.