How to handle the pain

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Tue, Apr 16 2024, 5:33 am

I received a email from my childs school that parents have been complaining about my son. I felt this stab in my heart, he's really not a bad boy he can be controlling and is a natrual leader but he's also really kind. His class is full of strong characters so fights happen all the time between many boys not just my son. I cant help this hurt feeling and probably some embarrassment, I feel like I need the ground to swallow me up. Its made be feel depressed and just sad that this is how my child is seen. Please help me get past my personal pain. We are dealing with our ds he's in therapy and the school are generally happy with him. I'm feeling offended that parents have been complaining about my son. I know this is silly how do I take this anxious and hurt feeling away. I don't really know what I want from this post I guess I'm just venting

amother

Stonewash

Tue, Apr 16 2024, 5:43 am

I’m sorry.
I don’t think it should have been an email.
But it hurts in any case.

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Apr 16 2024, 5:46 am

It always hurts us because we are very connected to our children. In some ways we feel that it's a reflection of us. Your ds has to grow on his own and all you can do is help him with it. Maybe in school he is not showing that nice side to him that he shows at home. Maybe at school he feels threatened by other such type of kids and comes out way stronger.
Don't take it personally, only take it to the extent that you should try to help him out with it.
Hugs

amother

Tue, Apr 16 2024, 6:45 am

Thank you I appreciate the validation

amother

Rose

Tue, Apr 16 2024, 6:56 am

Yes! Yes! Whenever I meet parents of my kids’ classmates, I’m always super sensitive and assume they’ve heard complaints about my kids and heard about what’s gone on in class. I know I’m doing everything right and getting my kids the support they need and bh they’re good kids who just need some extra support right now for different things. It’s so hard to not feel defensive and embarrassed but we need to also remember that none of this is personal. And I need to focus on doing what’s best for my kid and keeping them happy and healthy. But yes I cry all the time over how my kids have behaved in school or how the school might interrupt or handle behaviors and am worried I’ll be judged, etc. also know it’s probably not just your kid. from what I keep hearing, all schools are seeing much more “issues” and classroom management has become so much harder

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