How do you handle your son’s bris?? The crying…

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amother

Hotpink

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:13 pm

amother Calendula wrote:

But who comforts the baby right after the bris?

usually the grandmother takes the baby, and usually grandmothers love their grandchildren so the newborns are in good hands for the 10 min after the bris till he’s returned to his mom.

amother

Valerian

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:54 pm

BH I made 6 brisses and attended all on the 8th day. I learned to take motrin before walking out of the house as it's overwhelming. And you are only 8 days post-partum. The first bris was the hardest as I was naming for my grandfather and as woman it's hard to understand this mitzva. Also, I nurse all my babies before leaving the house and bring a formula bottle which they have a few sips. It's not necessary to nurse them there. I want to enjoy the simcha and all the guests who came for me. Obviously when the mohel needs me I go. The baby generally takes the bottle or a pacifier and falls asleep shortly afterward and sleeps for a while (from all the wine). It is hard for the mother. I always sing the shmuel kunda song which makes me feel better. "The baby is crying, the father is trying, to give him a name and not to spill the wine. Every Jewish boy goes through it, each and every single tiny little yingle, every single little yingel without fail"
Having infant tylenol is a goof thing if needed later or another day.

amother

Trillium

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:54 pm

ladYdI wrote:

In the chasidush world moms don’t go since it is hard for any mom to hear her child cry and a mom 8 days post birth is in a very delicate state. And to think of her having to get all dressed up and put on makeup and a shaitel is sooo hard! To me the chasidush minhag of moms staying home makes so much senses!

But they're not too delicate to get dressed up for vachtnacht?
Please give me a break.

It should be a choice.

Personally I didn't find it hard to get dressed up for bris (or vachtnacht). It actually felt really good to feel like a normal person for a few hours, even if I was post csection.

amother

Alyssum

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:55 pm

Hashem Commanded us to do this mitzvah so we trust it is best for us and our son.

amother

Purple

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:01 pm

We hired a top mohel. He probably does 10 brissim a week.

My baby boys all cried for a few seconds and then were fine.

Before I was even able to get worked up, they were done crying

shaqued_almond

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:03 pm

I have 4 boys. They've cried harder for gas than over the brit. The crying stops very quickly. Within a month it's completely healed up and you don't even see the surgery anymore

amother

Currant

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:08 pm

I'm chassidish, I love attending brissim but my own boys I was grateful to stay home. The baby was taken by both grandmothers to the shul just long enough to have the bris & brought right back home. Recovery was always really easy, nothing to it really.

amother

Green

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:16 pm

Not my husband’s minhag for the mother to go. We compromised, because I wanted to be there to nurse the baby as soon as it was finished. I stayed in the Rav’s study and the Mohel gave me instructions afterwards. Once I fed the baby I rejoined everyone and got to eat and hear the speeches about the relative we we named after.

amother

DarkGray

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:45 pm

Many mothers don’t stay in the room even non chassidish.

amother

Pear

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:27 pm

amother Peru wrote:

Do you have girls? If they give birth when they grow up that's a whole lot more painful.

Yes I have girls. Birth is something they choose to do, getting circumcised isnt. I also dont get my girls ears pierced until theyre old enough to ask for it. Again, obviously of course Ill do a bris when and if the time comes but its something I struggle with. Tznius isnt hard for me, kashrus isnt hard for me, this is one thing thats hard for me.

amother

Lemonlime

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:33 pm

Am I the only one that feels a bit disassociated at the time?

I hear him crying and I know what it means.

I know it makes the baby uncomfortable to be undressed and cold and held still, but I just go with it.

I am not very bothered.
Gosh that sounds awful.

I think I dont bond emotionally with my babies straight away.

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